Staying married over the Holidays

When we first got married the holidays were the best times for us. We look forward to meeting each other's families and growing relationships. Then it was the children! Oh boy, what fun it was to share our newborn bundles with everyone. There was plenty of picture taking and sharing stories.

Then, as our family grew, it was a matter of who was hosting during the holiday season. Who has an apartment large enough? Who has a house? How many people can you accommodate? There was always a question about the food. Who is bringing what? So and so is a vegetarian, pescetarian or they're just a super picky eater. "I don't like the way she/he makes this/that". Then there was the matter of the activities. What are we going to do after we eat? Should we watch a movie? Should we have a singalong? Share testimonies? Maybe we should read a Bible verse or two since we are christians and everything.

After a while, holidays can get to be a hassle because it is more of a chore then enjoyment. Some family members might not get along as well as others. People are now divorced. Somebody is having a baby and it's not a good thing. What happened to our joy? As a couple, we began experiencing more stress and anxiety during the holiday time. The season that was supposed to be happy and joyous suddenly got the better of us. It got the better of our marriage too! We had disagreements about who should come and who should not. There issues about the food, the setting, the music. It was all too very complicated. After all the festivities are over, who wants to cuddle up by a fire and be romantic? We were TIRED! No mistletoe or New Years Eve kiss. And you can forget about sex!

What happened to the simplicity of Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year's Day? Aren't these supposed to be the happiest times of the year? For many couples, it is not. Some couples are struggling with losses as well during the seasons. For whatever reason, it's not the way it used to be because so-and-so is gone. We miss grandma, grandpa, the kids before they were teens and had "better things to do". We missed seeing familiar faces that made the holidays so much better. This person is gone and so is their famous pie. Gosh! The holidays will never be the same.

Well let me give you three tips to ensure that you can stay married over the holidays. It IS possible to enjoy the holiday season with your spouse, even if you differ on if you should have a table just for the kids or not.

1. Plan a date. You may be thinking with all that I have to do and all of my appointments and all of the programs who has time for a date? Exactly! Make the time. Every November my husband and I get together to celebrate each other. It is a time to reconnect towards the end of the year and reminisce about our marriage. We talked about where we've been and where we're going. We enjoy each other's company and plan for the future. If your marriage is supposed to be your most important relationship, the others can wait.

2. Make your own traditions. I love our family traditions of how we open gifts and singing songs and many other things. However, when I got married I wanted us to have our very own family traditions. It is important to establish what you do at your house between each other. This will make your marriage stronger and will help you to navigate the holidays knowing that the two of you are working together, not against each other.

3. Remember the Reason for the Season. Among all the things that we have to do and all the to-do lists that we make for the holidays, there is nothing that will bring a couple closer together than keeping Jesus at the center. He is the reason that we made it through the year and the reason that we have a new one to look forward to. He is the reason that we celebrate Christmas and we can thank Him all year long, not just at Thanksgiving. All good marriages are held together by that glue.

So never fear! You can stay married during the holidays. This will be our 15th! Happy Every Day to you and your family from ours :)

Thirty Days of Prayer for our Marriages

Here are the links to the *30 Scopes of Prayer for Marriages in order. I pray that these are a blessing to marriages around the globe. We must pray without ceasing for our relationships so that God is glorified in our marriages!

1. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1jMJglLARwlxL
2. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1vAxRRvLkOXxl
3. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1MnxnjDrbvNxO
4. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1yoKMYoqPZOKQ
5. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1djGXkWROoPKZ
6. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1ypKdnbQlwNJW
7. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1RDGlwegZOdKL
8. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1PlJQjwREzqxE
9. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1YqKDVMzmLzJV
10. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1djGXwaBaQLKZ
11. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1ZkKzvgMdnZKv
12. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1nAKEqqolWgKL
13. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1vAxRppYReNGl
14. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1YpKkpoOdNrGj
15. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1OdKrwYdAYwGX
16. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1lPJqzYAjDdxb
17. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1YqGoZEnvQZKv
18. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1PlKQjZoPlqGE
19. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1jMJgnoqYDwGL
20. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1YpKkpNnmnwGj
21. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1lDGLepopzQJm
22. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1gqxvMlbDPRJB
23. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1OyKAlVYBnrxb
24. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1YqKDVgyWWAJV
25. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1nAKEqpZOoAKL
26. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1rmGPpvZWXDGN
27. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1MYGNBlqqlRGw
28. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1eaKbLbnalVJX
29. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1djGXXgdNlNGZ
30. https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1DXxylwejDWJM

*Adapted from the book "30 Days of Marriage Prayers" by Dr. Tony Evans

Wives 30 - Day Prayer Challenge Day 30

It's the last day of our challenge!! Thank you for going on this journey with me and my fellow Perisisters in Christ. God bless you and your marriages. Let's pray one final prayer together:

Praying today that the Lord will impress on our husband's hearts to be prayer warriors in their homes, on their jobs, in business, church and everywhere. Give them prayer burdens for the lost, hurting, sick and destitute. Give them a desire to pray for their wives as well in Jesus name we pray, Amen!

Watch today's scope: http://katch.me/NONSuperwoman/v/69a3e19d-6bbb-3566-873c-ce1a4ab93131

Wives 30 - Day Prayer Challenge Day 29

Lord,

Let our husband's image reflect you in the words he says, the places he goes, the things he does. May He never be ashamed to represent You at all times. Keep him in the Word of God so that he will glorify You at all times. Forgive him for being self-absorbed or self-seeking. Let him surrender all of himself to You so that you may use him 100% in Jesus name we pray, Amen!

Watch today's scope: http://katch.me/NONSuperwoman/v/69a3e19d-6bbb-3566-873c-ce1a4ab93131

Wives 30 - Day Prayer Challenge Day 28

Praying this scripture over my husband today:

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer"  Psalm 19:14

Watch today's scope: http://katch.me/KimCashTate/v/3c264b32-5199-3d03-9170-467de6a0ce15

Wives 30 - Day Prayer Challenge Day 27

If you know your husband's spiritual gifts, pray over them specifically. If he or you are unsure of what they are, read Romans 12:6-8 and I Corinthians 12:4-11, 28. Pray for discernment in your husband to reveal the gifts and to use them for the glory of God!

Watch today's scope: http://katch.me/NONSuperwoman/v/a57a8d6c-5c6a-3f35-9a24-03bef36cea08

Wives 30 - Day Prayer Challenge Day 26

May the desires of our husband's be in line with God's desires for him. May they desire the Lord more than anything else!

Watch today's scope: http://katch.me/KimCashTate/v/13378b53-b905-3dcc-98e5-e59cc061613e

Wives 30 - Day Prayer Challenge Day 25

Today, let's pray that the Lord will cause our husbands to be men of integrity, hard outer shells with moldable insides for the Lord's use.

Watch today's scope: http://katch.me/NONSuperwoman/v/317f066d-1e9d-3d47-a116-fa8fed3741c0

Wives 30 - Day Prayer Challenge Day 24

Read through the Beattitudes and pray each one over your man!

Watch today's scope: http://katch.me/KimCashTate/v/ee21e0e4-d7dc-3205-8b7f-4661e6700853

Wives 30 - Day Prayer Challenge Day 23

When you married that man, you married into his family, and he into yours. Every other relationship that your husband has is now tied into your life somehow - for better or for worse!

Today, let's be in prayer for all of our family relationships. Keeping a right perspective and a good balance in family relationships especially is important to a thriving marriage! I am praying that those relationships will be blessings to our lives and to our marriage and not a hinderance. I am praying that they will see our marriage as an example of Christ and His church. I am praying that estranged and long-lost family will be drawn closer and at the same time that others would keep a healthy distance.

Let's pray that our marriages would have balanced boundaries - not shutting everyone out or letting everyone in, but learning to manage others outside of our covenent in a way that honors God.

Watch today's scope: http://katch.me/NONSuperwoman/v/3a18d767-4a6e-3f45-867c-22a1b09886af

Wives 30 - Day Prayer Challenge Day 22

Does your husband love you? How do you know? Is it because he brings you gifts? Says it? Shows it in other ways?

Let me tell you something....there was a time that I felt very unloved by my husband. I expected him to say "I love you" at every chance he got! Who wouldn't if you truly were in love?! I later learned about the many different love languages that people use to express themselves and it changed my marriage tremendously! There are five:

1. gifts
2. quality time
3. word of affirmation (mine)
4. acts of service (his)
5. physical touch

Finding out how your spouse feels loved best is a step in the right direction, but the only way that he can really love you is if he loves God. As we pray, let's pray that the love our husband's portray is born out of their great love for God and the way Jesus displays that love in a sacrificial way.

Watch today's scope here: http://katch.me/KimCashTate/v/a4baff1d-c479-34c4-9bee-b47058f28f40

Wives 30 - Day Prayer Challenge Day 21

Great leadership is supported by great prayer! Even Jesus took time alone with His Father to pray and be refreshed in prayer. As we lift up our husband's leadership, let us also pray for their prayer lives.

I am praying that my husband will always embrace his role as the leader in our family. I pray that our sons will emulate his leadership skills in their own lives and families one day. I am praying that my husband will be surrounded by men who are good examples of christian leadership in their homes, jobs and social lives (that is soooo important) and that he will not abuse his leadership in any way.

Let's also pray that our husband's will look to Jesus as their leader and that we will be submissive to their following as they follow Christ!

Here is today's scope: http://katch.me/KimCashTate/v/2eef696e-8978-3ebb-a926-996c09f76f5b

My Week 3 recap + GIVEWAY info!!  

http://katch.me/anitamckaney/v/56dfd7ed-44a4-3fc7-81b7-971cf8edd2fa

Wives 30 - Day Prayer Challenge Day 20

It's all about the benjamins, or is it?

Money is one of the primary issues and reasons why couples have conflict and is often the reason for divorce. Either we have too much or we have too little.  we are slow to recall the scripture that we need to be content.

Not that I speak in respect of want; for I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. Philippians 4:11

Of course this is easier said than done when there is more than one person who is contributing to the finances or deciding where the money goes in the family. Some of us may even not be at the point of deciding where the money goes. Your spouse may be looking for a job and have been for a very long time. Or perhaps the issue is that they work too hard, too long and money is an idol.

Being a good steward becomes easier when we realize that we are simply managing God's affairs. It is easier to give, to save and to spend wisely. When we struggle for control over money, we give the enemy a powerful tool to work against our relationships. May we be vigilant and found trustworthy in the things in which God has given us care over.

Watch today's scope: http://katch.me/KimCashTate/v/2eef696e-8978-3ebb-a926-996c09f76f5b

Wives 30 - Day Prayer Challenge Day 19

Your marriage is not hopeless. Someone may be struggling with the thought of divorce today. The Bible tells me that it is not an option. What the Lord has put together, let no man put asunder. It's NEVER too late for God to intervene - not if you both verbally agreed or even if the paperwork is signed and filed. Hope for the best. 1 Corinthians 13 says that "Love Always Hopes". Let us be reassured today that our hope in God is secure and is covering our relationships.

Watch today's scope here: http://katch.me/NONSuperwoman/v/f1b55130-4dc0-3af8-98f8-f74e0bf6990e

Wives 30 - Day Prayer Challenge Day 18

If your house is like my house, there can be power struggles. I am a first-born who married an only child and we both could be the "boss of the house", but the Lord has set order in the homes of believers. I have to step back and encourage my husband to lead our home. It's not always easy, especially when he is good at it (if you know what I mean).

As we pray for humility between us, we have an opportunity to pray for ourselves again. May the Lord keep us humble as wives and keep our husbands humble as leaders in the home. Let's pray that they be "servant-leaders" who understand that they cannot lead well alone. Pray for wisdom to contribute when needed and to keep silent when not!

Watch today's scope here: http://katch.me/KimCashTate/v/e8507203-99d1-3fb3-abf5-1e0a785573d4

Wives 30 - Day Prayer Challenge Day 17

Most men I know are not the most health-conscience. Since convincing them to eat healthy, excercise and stop bad habits is not our job, we must pray. Their decisions affect us and their children. If your husband is struggling with a health issue, let's take it before the Lord today. He is the healer!

"God, you created my body and called it “good.” It is my home, and yours and you want me healthy and strong so that together we can fulfill the responsibilities you have assigned me. This earth is crippled and my body suffers the effects. I need your blessing for protection and healing to counter this brokenness.

I ask for the blessing of health because you have promised it. You said, “If you listen carefully to me and do what is right in my eyes, if you pay attention to my commands and keep all my decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, who heals you” You said, “I The LORD will keep you free from every disease.” You promise, “You will not fear the pestilence that stalks the night nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side. But it will not come near you” You said, “On that day you will realize that I am in the Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.” And you even dare to declare, “If the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit, who lives in you.”

So I do not presume to beg for health; I only respond to your initiatives. May your promises be fulfilled in my life.

So in Jesus name, grant me the health you intend, here and now, “On earth as it is in heaven.” In heaven, there is no sickness, disease or injury. Force every cell in my body to comply with your mandate.

I pray in the authority of Jesus, who came to earth, fully human, suffered physical death, rose to life, and now lives with you, Father in the same kind of human body that awaits me. May Jesus’ form of life begin in me, here and now."

Read more: http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/prayerplainandsimple/2012/10/a-prayer-for-physical-health-i.html#ixzz3jdQh902G
Read more at http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/prayerplainandsimple/2012/10/a-prayer-for-physical-health-i.html#0YP5U8LvlVQmxYGU.99


Watch today's scope here: http://katch.me/NONSuperwoman/v/846dbd5c-c423-3298-b7fd-8bdf2e4708c4

Wives 30 - Day Prayer Challenge Day 16

Your husband may be a father. We know that they want to be good ones, so let's pray today that they will. God is the best example of a father. He loves us, cares for us, makes great sacrifices for us and is preparing for us! Perhaps you have no children, but this is a desire that you and your husband have.

Using the attributes of God, let's pray for our husband's fatherhood present or future!

1. Loving - 1 John 4

2. Merciful - Ephesians 2:4

3. Righteous - Psalm 129:4

4. Present - Proverbs 15:3

5. Wise - Romans 16:27

6. Faithful - 1 Corinthians 1:9

7. Caring - 1 Peter 5:7

8. Forgiving - Numbers 14:8

9. Patient - 2 Peter 3:9

10. Kind - Psalm 36:7

Watch today's scope here: http://katch.me/NONSuperwoman/v/33b89135-4707-30ab-9051-9650c4764ebc

Wives 30 - Day Prayer Challenge Day 15

Would you say that you have an affectionate husband? Maybe one of you is affectionate and the other is not. Has this been an area of contention in your relationship? As we pray today, let's ask the Lord for an increase in showing and telling our love towards one another. 

Songs of Solomon is THE book on affection between a married couple. It speaks of kissing, longing, sex and mutual affection. I used to read novels that were unrealistic when it came to having loving relationships. Books, movies and other materials can warp our feelings and thoughts about sex and affection (which are not the same by the way). Affection can happen in loving gestures and sex is.....well, sex! Read Song of Solomon today and pray that you and your spouse will have your hearts, minds and romance rekindled. 

Here is today's scope: http://katch.me/KimCashTate/v/67d9d030-ac32-3afd-8526-c40ffa84f16d

Wives 30 - Day Prayer Challenge Day 14

Our friendships have changed tremendously since we've been married! Single folks don't have as much in common anymore and  others don't necessarily share our values.

Same sex and opposite sex friendships can be equally damaging. It's important to maintain righteous boundaries. Let's pray that our friendships remain strong!

As we pray for our husbands, we are also praying for ourselves because we are one! His blessings are yours too! It's the end of week two. Don't give up!

Here is today's scope: http://katch.me/KimCashTate/v/ec42ebb2-c033-3f3f-aa71-a94b018ce949

Also, it's Week Two, so here is Anita's recap scope!

Wives 30 - Day Prayer Challenge Day 13

Trust. It must be built, but is easily broken. I asked Maurice about what the Bible says about trust in marriage. He referred me to 1 Corinthians 13 - Love Always Trusts! If we love each other, we should trust each other in that love. It's not just a sexual or friendship love, it's Agape love. That kind of love is trustworthy.

He also mentioned that the definition of love is deep affection expressed in righteous action. It's what you DO not just what you SAY!