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Showing posts from 2018

Kick the devil out of your Marriage

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Some of us are used to chaos in our marriages. It is normal to fight daily and to struggle with communicating regularly. For many, the enemy has a space in your bed, a seat in your car and is welcomed into your home by way of several types of media. The devil is that third person in some relationships and we do not even recognize him. Well, I do not know about you, but I do not want him anywhere close to me or my marriage! The good news is that if we have a relationship with Jesus Christ, we have authority over the enemy even in our marriages. We need to kick the devil out! Our weapons against the enemy are clearly delineated in scripture. Contrary to popular opinion within and without the church, counseling is not a cure. More money will not bring more peace. Another spouse is not the answer either. You will face the same battles with any person with which you align yourself in matrimony. In Ephesians 6, we see all the pieces of the armor: The Helmet of Salvation The Sword of

3 New Year Marriage Resolutions that you won't quit

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A resolution is a firm intention to do or not to do something. In marriage, we have already made the commitment to each other for life. However, we want to continue to grow and develop in our relationships with each other. Let's take assessment of our current status and work even harder to make our marriages even better. A couple of years ago we wrote a blog about accounting for your marriage every year. As one year closes and another begins, let's look at three resolutions, or intentions to make us both better. First, pray often. We tried to make a commitment to pray together daily but yeah...that didn't really happen. When you do not meet your goals, you revise them right? So instead of praying together daily, we have decided to pray for each other regularly. It is actually pretty easy to say "Praying for you" instead of "I love you" sometimes. That is realistic. Then, actually pause and pray. You may even try to develop the habit of saying a quic

FUN in Marriage

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We are so excited to start a new year! It is a fresh chance to build on the foundation of our marriage. It is important to be intentional about enjoying each other's company. We have decided to share with you a few fun things that, perhaps, you have never thought of before. Hopefully, you can begin the New Year with some fresh ideas and plan out some fun things to do together! (This post contains affiliate links of companies that we work with to support our blog. We may be entitled to compensation if our readers click the links....hint, hint). Dating So what you are married? The dating never stopped for us! We plan to try out a few date boxes this year. After our Christmas date with Get Date Box we were hooked. Everyone loves mail and why not invest in your marriage? During the cold winter months of Ohio, we are now looking forward to fun dating more inside the house. We sent the boys upstairs to play and we had a great time! We also do traditional dating at a restaura

Winter Romance: Four Ideas for when you are NOT in the mood

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(This blog post contains affiliate links that we may receive compensation for if you click them, but we do not mind if you do :) When it is cold out and the snow is falling, things can happen! This is baby-making season as some say, lol. However, the reality is that as much as we may be showing physical attention to our spouses, we may not be meeting their emotional needs. Romance (especially for a woman) is so much more than sex. In the winter season, the fact is that stress and sadness can cloud our attempts at being and reciprocating romance. As much as we are physically together, we may actually be very distanced in other ways. Depression, grieving and anxiety can take a toll on a marriage especially around the holidays. Some couples seem to have it all together. They happily celebrate the highs in life and support each other through the lows. Everything looks so perfect from the outside. Yet we all know that any good marriage takes much work and intentionality. We have to

Holiday Housekeeping & Hospitality (3 tips)

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As you may have read on the blog before, we try to keep a tidy house even with our two boys. The holidays, however, can be a challenge. We often host the family and with people comes stuff and germs and dishes. Holidays can be more overwhelming than usual, but I have developed a very simple system to stay on top of things while hosting events at our home (since we seem to be the go-to spot for parties). So we have developed a plan for our home and we each have assigned duties to make sure that our guests feel welcome, but the house remains clean and organized. Here are a few tips for the wife who wants to make her home a place where Jesus Himself could visit. Tip #1: Clean ahead of time. I cannot stress enough how helpful it is to clean your house, apartment or living space BEFORE guests arrive. First, it puts you in the mindset of keeping everything in its place. Secondly, you are able to identify what areas need more help than others. Thirdly, you are less likely to be embara

Holiday Shopping for Tween and Teen BOYS

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Ah...the boys! Well, after some hilarious discussion about how they would NOT be getting a million dollars for Christmas or a car or other outrageous gifts, we finally got a real list of potential items for a twelve and thirteen-year-old. When they reach this age, they know what they want. We find that other people ask us as the parents what our boys want because they are also at a loss. We try to get their lists early so that we can, first, get over the emotional shock, and second, actually see what is affordable. So here it is: Twelve-Year-Old 1. Nintendo Switch console 2. Fortnite game for nintendo switch 3. Zelda Breathe of the Wild for nintendo switch 4. Carrying case for nintendo switch 5. Nerf Nemesis 6. Beanbag chair for my room 7. Spygear 8. SD card 9. Hotwheels 10. Beyblades 11. Kpop BTS sneakers (black canvas - RM) Thirteen-Year-Old 1. Nintendo switch 2. Fortnite game for nintendo (if you get the switch) 3. Money 4. Amazon Fire 10 5. Nerf Neme

Gift-Giving Guide for Christian Couples

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Buying gifts for your spouse can be a really fun experience if you know them well. As the holiday season approaches we are all preparing to buy gifts for many people. We have experienced times when gift-giving has been hectic and other times when it has been a joy. Here are a few tips before we offer you a few of the best deals out there for couples right now. (This post does contain affiliate links that we may be compensated for if you click them - so we don't mind at all) 1.  Pay attention . Know your spouse well. I know this goes without saying, but when buying gifts you want to take note of what your spouse really loves and what they really do not. Notice when they smile, when they linger over certain items in the store or make comments. Be a detective and take note! I really do not like chocolate much, but Maurice used to buy me chocolate all of the time. Once I purchase a men's devotional for Maurice but then realize later that it merely collected dust. These we

Best Marriage Resources!

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We are huge proponents of christian marriage resources out there!  When we were married 17 years ago many of these resources were just coming out.  Whether you are a newlywed or a seasoned veteran in marriage, it can still be challenging to discern which ones are truly helpful for your particular marriage needs. While there is lots of help available now, we still choose to focus on small group Bible study. The Word works! Although we do refer people to marriage counseling (because we are in no way experts ourselves), mentoring has a more profound impact in the marriages that we have had the opportunity to walk alongside. It is great if a wife wants a woman's conference and if sometimes, the guys want a getaway to work on themselves as husbands. However, we find that there is nothing more effective than when a couple work together in seeking God's Word as an authority towards their marriage. We have participated in several small group studies for married couples. One of th

Church and Marriage (Part 4 of 4): Raising Christian Children

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It is one thing to establish communing and fellowship in church with your spouse, but adding children will change the dynamic. When a couple with children decides to follow Christ, know that there will be little eyes following who you follow. It is supremely paramount to give your children good spiritual influences as you would with anything else. We take our time t choose good schools and good doctors, so why not take the same care with something so important? Parents are Spiritual Teachers. Parents are the first spiritual influences for their offspring. We see biblical principles and precepts to mothers and to fathers in the scripture. Here are a few: Proverbs 6:20-35 This verse encourages children not to forsake the commands and instructions that both of their parents have taught them. Proverbs 1:8 Solomon writes to his son in this verse to obey his father and mother. Proverbs 23:22 This proverb reminds children that the teaching of their parents extends even to o

Church and Marriage (Part 3 of 4): Doing Ministry

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As we think about doing Ministry in the same church together, we have to remember God's order for the church. Jesus is the head of His church. The man follows Christ and the woman follows the man. This is biblical order. So when we speak about Ministry, we have to remember that it is for everyone in the body of Christ. We also believe that the gender roles in the church are outlined in the word of God. Women should prayerfully consider their ministry options with their husbands. Since before we were married, we decided that we wanted to do ministry together. It was a challenge to find a church that actually had  opportunities for us to do what we feel that God had called us to do. We knew God for ourselves, had been baptized and had heard from the Lord regarding what we should do and we were looking for a church that aligned with that direction for our marriage which is our first Ministry. It is important to have your own house in order before attempting to minister to oth

Church and Marriage (Part 2 of 4): Five things to do AFTER church

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Once church is over, how is life at home? While in church, we have often been that couple that  has put each other in the sermon and suggested to one another that it would be a great word for the other person.  Have you ever done that?  The message would be on submission and the husband would glare at the wife, or the message would be on love and the wife would glare at the husband. We have to remember that all of God's word is for all of us all the time. Although it may not feel especially applicable to your marriage at the moment it may be needed for tomorrow or next week or next year. Church is the place where many marriages are brought together, however, it is also the place where some marriages fall apart. When either the husband or the wife are experiencing some church hurt for some reason, we have to be careful to not let it affect our marriage as a whole.  At times, there may even be a couple in the church that we look up to and considered them as mentors and then th

Church & Marriage (Part 1 of 4): We Are One

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Church and marriage. When we think about this topic, it often makes us think of the biblical equivalent of Christ and His Church. (Ephesians 5:22-32)  However, as much as we want to embrace that idea thoroughly, we also want to share some practical applications of being married and going to church together. You see, we have more recently come across many couples who do not share the same church home.  We have had several discussions amongst  ourselves regarding this topic. Is it truly biblical for a couple not to be in the same congregation? Or is it actually okay because real church is not a building anyway? Many of us know that Jesus was not a member of a church congregation per se. He was a part of the Jewish culture and was a rabbi. (John 3:2) So he did hold a leadership position in the synagogue. But Jesus was obviously unmarried as we know from the scriptures. So the question becomes  the Bible set any president for those who are married?  We also know from scripture t

Housekeeper

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Now that our boys are off from school, the house is a mess. Really.  Every day, we have the same conversations about cleaning up after themselves, how important it really is to take a shower and to remember to unfold their socks before they go into the washing machine. We all live here together so we should all be good stewards of our space. This is not a new conversation, but a regular one in our household these days. It affects our relationships with each other. In the same way, God expects us to be good stewards of the things that He has given us. (1 Corinthians 4:2). He has given us our bodies to care for, children to rear and relationships to maintain. Just because our situation or season changes does not mean that responsibility to be a good steward is optional. Just because it is summer, does not mean that our boys get out of cleaning their rooms either!  Just because our situation or season changes does not mean that responsibility to be a good steward is optional. I

Defining Godly Mentorship: What it Really Means

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A mentor is a person that you can look up to. Usually this is a person that you want to be like in some way, shape or form. A mentor leads by example and may not even realize that they are paving the way for others. Godly mentorship is the idea of leading someone closer to Christ by your lifestyle whether intentionally or unintentionally. Being a mentor is being a representative. The Bible calls this kind of person an  ambassador for Christ ( 2 Corinthians 5:20). The mission that this ambassador has is reconciliation of others to God. The way this person lives, acts, speaks and what they do are allowing people to be drawn closer to or further away from the Lord. Mentoring can be done on purpose by engaging others around you and encouraging them to follow Jesus. Many times there are opportunities in church or discipleship groups. Mentoring can also be done on purpose in one-on-one relationships, or couple to couple like we have experienced. Mentoring is also done unintentionally.

Mother's Day Blog Series/Giveaway

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This year, as I reminisce about being a mother to my two boys, I would like to take you on the journey. See and read about my growth (and theirs) over the past 6 years in 6 previous blogposts. Here they are in order with links: A Real Parent Mother's Day Happy Sunny Mother's Day Why Celebrate Becoming a Mother What loving your children really means If you are 1.) A subscriber and 2.) Read and comment on each one, you will be eligible to win BOTH of my books. Also, if you are a blogger or author, 3.) Add a link to one of YOUR posts/books about christian motherhood for an extra entry! One winner will be selected on Mother's Day and announced on May 16th! Use the hashtag #momdayblog!

Kissing for your Health!

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It's TRUE! I am not just saying that because I am a nursing educator. Obviously, I have bonafide statistical, analytical reasoning behind such a statement. But I have to also say, that I know it to be true myself. As one who has kissed and been kissed for many years, I have a wealth of knowledge regarding this. Lol. Ok, so let's get to the real deal here. A really good passionate kiss on the lips will stimulate a lot of things including more blood to your tissues and saliva to your mouth. It lowers your blood pressure and can help with cramps. It also feels good because you are releasing your happy hormone - oxytocin. It is a neurotransmitter that tells your brain that your body feels good and it also decreases your stress. When you have all that extra saliva, it actually strengthens your gums and teeth also. Without moisture in your mouth, you are more prone to dental caries and other gum diseases. Dry mouths are uncomfortable anyway, so tell your spouse that you need a ki

What ignoring Social Media did to my marriage

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I quit social media for a month. It had some unexpected consequences and delightful rewards. Consequences: We didn't know what was going on. When I stopped checking facebook, instagram, twitter and snapchat, I lost communication with several hundreds of people. I suddenly realized that I missed my online friends. Some of our mutual marriage friends didn't even realize that we were silent online. I also realized who some of my real friends really were too. We realized that we missed capturing daily moments through pictures and sharing in real time. Life slowed down a bit which was great for Maurice, but less adventurous for me. I actually like a faster pace of life. Rewards: We used the phone more and sent cards. My real friends actually missed me before 31 days were up. Deaths, weddings and funerals happened and instead of sending a post, we sent cards. Those closest to us also reached out "just because". Real friends don't need a reason. We had so m

Happy Valentine's Day

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Just recently, one of our sons came to us expressing his new crush for some girl. Wondering who in the world this special girl could be, we asked him and he refused to share that information. Imagine that! Our 12 year-old wanted advice about what to give this girl for Valentine's Day, so we had a talk about treating older women as mothers and younger women as sisters (I Timothy 5:2). Not sure if that is what he was expecting, but we think it went ok. BUT....As our special Valentine's Day gift to YOU, we have three blogposts that we would like to re-introduce to you. Hope that you enjoy reading whether married or not! Leave a comment or two. We love to hear from our subscribers! 15 Things We Know About Marriage Marriage Investment Loving my Husband

What am I supposed to do?

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So many times during prayer I have asked this question: What am I supposed to do? We all feel that we have a grand purpose and I believe that is God's design. We were all created to do something in a way that no one else can for the glory of God. However, discerning God's will for your life can be daunting. Discerning God's will for your marriage can be quite the task as well (especially if you have never even had that thought). Many people mistakenly think that their marriage is for their pleasure alone - not so. God brings two people together in a relationship because He has work for them to do. You may even feel that your spouse's purpose is more defined than yours. We want to share some biblical insight on purpose, how to figure out what yours is and what it means for your marriage. ********************************************************************************* The only way to know what you were created for is to ask the Creator. However, in addition t