Church and Marriage (Part 2 of 4): Five things to do AFTER church

Once church is over, how is life at home? While in church, we have often been that couple that  has put each other in the sermon and suggested to one another that it would be a great word for the other person.  Have you ever done that?  The message would be on submission and the husband would glare at the wife, or the message would be on love and the wife would glare at the husband. We have to remember that all of God's word is for all of us all the time. Although it may not feel especially applicable to your marriage at the moment it may be needed for tomorrow or next week or next year.

Church is the place where many marriages are brought together, however, it is also the place where some marriages fall apart.

When either the husband or the wife are experiencing some church hurt for some reason, we have to be careful to not let it affect our marriage as a whole.  At times, there may even be a couple in the church that we look up to and considered them as mentors and then they divorce. We have seen it happen time and time again.  Unfortunately, as much as the Bible speaks about divorce and how it displeases the Lord, it still happens way more among church members then we would like to accept and believe.

We do not hear very many sermons on how to deal with the grief that comes with couples divorcing in the church itself.  Other couples see what happens and it can either reinforce their marriage in a good way or it can cause them to believe that perhaps they are next in line.

We have to know that when  people are experiencing relationship issues within the church that it affects the whole body because we are ALL one body.

What we would like to suggest is that, as couples in the church, that we encourage one another in the Lord. As much as we hear about the negativity among marriages in church, we need to take an active stance to lift each other up
in prayer continually. Perhaps your church has a marriage ministry that you can be a part of or maybe a grief ministry for those who are going through divorce.

Sometimes we can see that people are hurting among us and we do nothing. That should never be. Other times we do not celebrate as much as we should when people have anniversaries and hit milestones in their marriages. Why not? We want to secondly suggest that it is okay to get in each other's business just a little. If we truly are to be one body in Christ we have to learn to deal with messy relationships and we have to be ministers of reconciliation for each other.

Here are a few practical ways that we can strengthen other marriages within the church itself.

1.  Pray for the newlyweds. Often times we attend a wedding and  assume that they will be just fine those first few years. However, we do know that many couples experience some of their hardest times within the first 5 years of marriage.

2.  Be a part of the marriage or couple Ministry in your church. Hopefully, the church has some sort of ministry that encourages couples and teaches the biblical  foundation of Christ and the Church. If your Church offers a class or ministry like this, we would suggest that you and your spouse pray about taking an active part.

3.  Double-date with other couples.  We have had the best times going out with other couples and sharing our struggles, successes and failures with them. It is helpful to have  an open and honest dialogue about marriage itself with other people who are experiencing the same thing.  One of the common things we encounter is how people feel lonely in their marriage. Let's change that.

4.  Celebrate anniversaries. Every single year we have an opportunity to make a big deal about someone's relationship. It is an open invitation to encourage their marriage send a card or speak life to their relationship.  There are several instances in the Old Testament when God encourages his people to celebrate holidays and remember what he has done for them. We should do no less for marriage.

5.  Learn from older couples.  Many of us are familiar with Titus 2 relationships where women are to teach other women. We suggest that couples should teach other couples as well. It is so encouraging and helpful to be able to rely on an older couple for advice.  Don't ask them vague questions like "How do you do it?". Dig deep, be specific.  Ask about good ideas for date nights, how they raised their sons or their daughters, how they split household chores or manage their money.

The Bible says that iron sharpens iron.  Marriages in the church have a wonderful opportunity to encourage one another and to support one another.  Don't be afraid to reach out.  Some other couple may be just your answer to prayer or vice versa.  The body is stronger when we all exercise towards the same goal: representing Christ well to the world.