What we learned about Love and Sex in Marriage

We have been married for 15 years. That is a lot of close up "getting to know you time". In those intimate times together, we have had our share of really great sex, ok sex, make-up sex and "I'm doing this just for you" sex. Like most couples, these times have varied in length of time, location and type. Here are a few things that we would tell another couple about their married sex life.

Make a Commitment

When I asked Maurice what his biggest piece of advice is, he mentioned how important it was to not commit adultery. This would require that the male in the relationship must guard his eyes and mind. Watch what you watch and listen to. Temptation abounds, so it is best to assume that you are not as strong as you think you are whether male or female! You have to let your spouse know that you are there for them when they need you. In I Corinthians 7:2-5, the Bible tells us that the best way to avoid cheating is to have lots of sex often. Remember that your body no longer belongs to you. Don't play silly mind games. Make a commitment to love, honor and cherish the needs of your spouse.

Get to Know Them

Every person is different. We have different bodies and are capable and incapable of certain things. All newlyweds, from infinity, came into marriage with certain expectations. TV and other media "teach us" what sex should be like. It is only with time that we really get to know the person we love.

This is no one night stand!!

All christian marriages should expect to last til death do us part. That is the only expectation in sex as well - we will work it out and be together. If one thing does not work for your spouse, it will not work for you and vice versa. The goal of good sex is mutual satisfaction. What does your spouse need? What do you need? You can't complain if you don't communicate! Commit to be there for each other no matter what. Learn how to please and to serve your mate. You owe that to our spouse because you vowed to be faithful to them alone. You want them coming back to you over and over (pun intended :)

Sex is temporary

The truth is that there is no sex or marriage in heaven. Marriage is the most important relationship on earth, but not so in eternity. With that in mind, make the most of it! The feelings that come with sex are fleeting after every experience. However, your body adjusts to your spouse over time and all the hormones and enzymes in your brain draw you closer together. God has literally designed our bodies to be One! Sex is a picture of Christ, His Church and the Oneness that it represents. It is physical, mental and spiritual....but temporary. It is not everything, but it is one of the glues that holds us together.

Intimacy is KEY

If your whole marriage relationship revolves around your sex life, it will be short-lived. Sex in marriage is for procreation and recreation, but what if...you can't, they can't...it's not happening. Your marriage has to survive on more than the blessings that sex provides.

Hopefully, by understanding the three previous points, you and your spouse will have a rich relationship that outlasts sex. When we are both very old and grey, tired and worn out physically, hopefully we will have years and years of memories that keep us close. Marriage is like a padlock - nothing comes in and no one goes out. We fit each other. In our last days, we will be intimate in the very best way - because we were faithful to each other.

Til death do we part.....

Check out a couple of our most popular posts about sex:

Communion, Sex and Church

Purity is Better


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