Hardening Hard Hearts

Bitterness. Unforgiveness. Holding a grudge. Sin. All of these kinds of things harden our hearts. They stiffen us and build walls to keep people (and God) out. The enemy knows that if he can close you in and get you centered in on yourself, that you will implode. We are made like a filter - emotionally speaking. We need to be able to cycle through our emotions in a healthy way. There are good days and bad days and those who follow Jesus need to learn to appropriate every feeling we have.

The bible warns us to stay repentant and to remain in a place where we can be convicted by the Holy Spirit. If not, the hardening remains. Like a heart with vessels hardened by cholesterol, sin makes it difficult to feel for others and especially from God and then you die. The blood is there for your healing, but it cannot move to help. We only harden what is already hard when we stop the flow of the Holy Spirit.

What you have been eating is now eating you.

The Word of God needs to land on soft soil for growth in order to produce change in your life. Mark 4:16-17 talks about letting seeds fall on different kinds of ground. We could think of the status of our hearts in that way. Some of us are rocky and nothing will grow there. Some are thorny and allow the cares of this world to choke out anything good. Some seed falls on good ground. Those hearts are a good environment. They have been uprooted from the stuff holding them down and have allowed the Lord to cut out things that hinder their growth.

The fruit of gentleness is a product of allowing the Holy Spirit to convict and reform our hearts. When we are tempted to lash out at our spouse or to steal or gossip, the Lord will make you sensitive to the Word that has already been planted in your heart. The guilt that we feel is a sign that the fruit of gentleness has been planted. When we no longer have guilt, our hearts are too hard. God is knocking at the door of our hearts, but we cannot even hear Him anymore. The heart vessels are clogged. We cannot forgive. We can't let it go. We are unable to sense the Holy Spirit moving.

And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient.... (Romans 1:27-28).

The Bible warns us of having these reprobate minds. We don't even want to hear from God once we reach a certain plateau. Don't let your heart go there. Don't wander to far away from the Lord because the wider that divide is, the harder it will be to get back to a soft heart. Think of it as a hard-boiled egg. It can't be soft again because it has been boiled. However, God is the God of do-overs and second chances. He can do it!

So how do we make a change? 

1. Return to your first love. Exchange your sin and bitterness and pride for His forgiveness, grace and hope. Sometimes it takes a while to identify all the things that have stunted your growth for so long. As the Lord to reveal even the hidden things that you hide from yourself. He is waiting to embrace us. Always.

2. Repent. God is holy. He is ready and willing to forgive you of what you have not even forgiven yourself of but we must acknowledge that we cannot do it alone. You will only harden a hard heart if you don't.

3. Plant. What God has removed from your heart is not an open space to re-introduce it. Tell the devil that he has NO PLACE any longer and he is completely evicted. Then you must quicky fill your heart with the Word of God. His promises and affirmations will sustain you and grow the fruit of gentleness where bitterness once resided.

Softening a hard heart is not easy, but it is necessary for growth in all of our relationships.

Such a Gentleman

We are working on teaching the boys to be gentlemen. They are being encouraged to open the door for ladies, to not burp or belch out loud, to be neat and clean and polite. It is important for us to instill in them that being a gentleman is something that is internal and external. It is good to be clean inside and out!

When we remember that gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit, we can better understand that we are representing Christ in how we look, what we say and how we act and respond every day. We may not think that people are watching our behavior but we really are either bringing people closer to the knowledge of God or turning them away from Him.

Our children are watching our marriage too! How does mommy treat daddy? Is she rude and mean or is she polite and endearning? Does daddy yell and slam doors or is he patient and sweet. Are we showing love or are we being selfish? Someone is always watching our actions towards each other.

We model what we truly believe in our hearts and minds. It is one thing to say that we should be showing respect, but quite another to live it out day after day and week after week in our homes, in our workplaces and at the grocery store.

We have certainly had our share of mistakes in being gentle with each other, but today we want to give you a few more ideas to cultivate the soil in preparation to grow more gentleness.

1. Pray for the Fruit of Gentleness. This aspect is not naturally occurring. It is a fruit of the Spirit, not of the flesh. As the One who abundantly supplies all your needs for the seed of gentleness.

2. Gentle Speech. A huge part of gentleness is in the way we converse with each other. Practice not interrupting when others are speaking and learning to really listen to others. When it is necessary to bring correction, remember to do it in love!

3. Gentle Wisdom. The way we share Christ with others is important. Jesus often showed God to others by healing and doing other miracles. He fed them and loved them, then gently shared with them the truth of why He was sent. He answered their questions with the scripture and was firm against what was wrong. 

Being gentle is not being weak. It is proudly standing behind what God says!

4. Being a Gentleman/Gentlewoman. The Bible tells us that Jesus was gentle and we should follow His example. It is what differentiates His followers from others. God never coerces or forces us to follow Him. He is the Good Shepherd who lays down His life for His sheep. John got the idea when he writes that "He must become greater and I must become less" (John 3:30).

5. Repent. Our only right reaction to the sacrifice of Christ is our lives. He took our place on the cross and we owe Him as our reasonable service (Romans 12:1,2). When we know what is right to do and we do not do it, we sin . Sin separates us from God. Jesus was the perfect gentleman and our right response is gratefulness and saying "Thank you" for the rest of our lives.

Be Patient

Have you ever been told to be patient? The person speaking is usually slightly annoyed right? Was it your parents? I have become my parents. I feel as though this is our daily mantra around the house. I'm trying to replace it, but it is quite difficult. "Boys be patient". "Stop interrupting and be patient". "Be patient with your brother". "Hold on. Wait a few minutes, ok?". I have come to the conclusion that one of two things is the case. Either I am not being patient enough or my kids are way to demanding - or maybe both!

Or perhaps you struggle with patience in your marriage. It can be tough to wait on those answers to your prayers. We may be tempted to get ahead of God and not consider our spouse in our decision-making at times. Impatience can make our relationships extremely frustrating!

But...how do you think God feels? He sees the end from the beginning, yet he waits for us to "get it". We are God's children and He has patience that makes no human sense. It is one of the reasons that Jesus has not yet returned. He is patient in waiting for folks to repent. Very patient! How amazing and truly merciful of Him! We are mere humans with such selfish tendencies and yet, God has amazing grace towards us.

The Bible tells us to let patience have her perfect work in us. There is a fruit of the spirit that can only be developed through this process - this one. Let it work. Don't always take the stance of "poor me". It's fruitless right? How horrible would it be if a farmer worked so hard during crop season, went through such a rough time to grow some plants that should bear fruit and ended up with nothing. Nothing to show for all his efforts. That is what it is like for us to complain through the hard seasons. We discover that it has not formed anything in us. We have no fruit in that season. God wants to use every single thing that we go through to make His name great and to get the glory that He is due.

So if God Himself shows such great patience to us, shouldn't we show patience with others? We can be patient with our children and with our spouse. We can be patient with co-workers and that person driving in front of us. We can be patient in the store and as we wait on the phone.

Remember, it's not about you, it is about what the Lord wants to form you into.

Be patient. Learn how to suffer long.

Are you scared to pray for Longsuffering?

Are you scared? I could see why. I have even heard clergy tell people to be careful what they pray for because God might actually give it to you. We don't like suffering, especially suffering long. Why pray for that? Is is really necesssary?

The Bible tells us that love suffers long (I Corinthians 13:4) and we also read that longsuffering,or patience, is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians5:11).

God empowers us to do the hard things.

Marriage is hard. Raising children is hard. Getting a degree is hard. Living a holy life is hard. However, they are all worth it. Let me encourage you today. Don't be so focused on what you may have to go through in this life. The Bible tells us repeatedly to focus on glory and to put our hope and treasures in eternal things. All you see and experience in this life is temporary and fleeting - so is longsuffering.

If you are married, God has especially graced you with a partner to go through life with. Think of yourselves as a team. You are not alone. Your partner is with you and you have the power to:

1. Pray Together. There have been times when one of us has been so overwhelmed and then the Lord reminds us that we are stronger and our prayers are more effective together. So we stop and pray.

2. Read the Word Together. This is a powerful thing. The Word itself has power and reminding each other of the Word of God is life! Nothing your spouse says is more powerful than what God says.

3. Fight Together. Don't fight against each other. Fight your mutual enemy with the Word together! The Bible tells us that one can put a thousand to flight and two cna route ten-thousand!

The enemy is no match for a couple that works together to defeat him in Jesus name!

So...yeah, you may have to suffer some, but sweet victory awaits you at the finish line. We can take up our crosses and follow Christ no matter the cost. This is what it means to be His disciple!

Wait for it

In just a moment....

Hold on.....

Just give me a second.....

Do these sound like familiar phrases? All of us have been on the waiting side and some of us have been on the "hurrying to serve" side of impatience. Patience is a virtue as they say. You have probably also heard that good things come to those who wait. Both true, but not easily accomplished, right?

However, some of the bestest things (yes, bestest) are worth the wait! A brand new baby, a newly built home, a college degree, sex (yup...it's worth it!). It is the value that we place on the "longed-for thing" that makes it such a delight after we have waited for a while - suffered and pained for its arrival.

It truly is our flesh that makes us so impatient at times. It demands its own way always. We are like this from birth and some of us never grow out of it.

Maurice and I met online and we waited months and months before we ever met face to face. In was in this waiting period that we grew to know each other on more than just a surface level. I believe that it was a deeper relationship without the physical elements. You see, patience is a spiritual fruit. It thrives in the spiritual realm, not the physical one. Learning to wait patiently is just one level. Being joyful while you wait is quite another. So we waited to meet and took our time to get to know one another and then when we were sure, we hurried to marry - primarily because we had waited to have sex and to live together.

There is a song called "I don't mind waiting". I never used to sing it because it was a lie. I DID mind. I minded waiting a lot. I figured that is was time for some things in my life and God was not getting the memo. Thank God that before I jumped into situations that could have ruined my witness, I discovered the power of learning from the mistakes of others! The Bible encourages this when we are reminded about the children of Israel in the book of Joshua. God tells the next generation to learn from their predecessors (who died in the wilderness complaining) so that they could enter the Promised Land that He already promised.

I encourage anyone to not rush what God is taking His time to prepare and make just right for you. 

Jesus gave instructions about communion in I Corinthians 11:34. If people were too impatient to wait for their shared meal at church, they should eat at home. The practice of communion, or The Lord's Supper is a sacrament today. In many church, the entire group eats and drinks together to remind them of Jesus' broken body and spilled blood on the cross. So in context, some church people were just hungry and did not wait.

They fed the physical and starved the spiritual. 

Why would you rush a chef that is baking or a surgeon that is working in his gift? It makes no sense right? You could buy a house built on sand or have a custom-built brick one. You could quickly buy a college degree certificate or actually go through the process of earning a real one. We appreciate less what others only half-heartedly prepare, so let's not be impatient. It is not worth it. If you are struggling with this, pray to God for a change of your own heart. Ask the Lord to grow patience in you and He will. Then wait for it.

Making Peace

We cannot manufacture peace. We cannot conjure it up and manifest it before others. Only God creates peace. Some people speak of making their peace with God, meaning that they get an understanding with their Maker before death - ask His forgiveness and finally set their spiritual affairs in order. However, I want you to consider today that it is not only important to "get right with God" but with people too and that none of it is possible without the Lord's intervention.

The peacemaker is God Himself. We are unable to make peace with Him or anyone for that matter without His divine intervention. Just as we cannot forgive ourselves of sin, or be good enough before a Holy God, we cannot make peace happen. But we can be peacemakers by allowing His peace to work in our hearts.

"Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God". 

Matthew 5:9, KJV

This verse implies that the children of God are those who make peace. It is through the relationship that we have with our Father that we are enabled or empowered to make peace. Jesus said "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you..." (John 14:27). Jesus is the One who make things right with God on our behalf so that we can be like Him and make peace with others.

Because He is the peace-giver, we can be peace-makers. It is not intrinsic of us, but due to the One who lives in us that peace ever happens.

Peacemakers have peace with God, make peace in their hearts with their enemies and with themselves. The Bible tells us that there is no peace or rest to the wicked (Isaiah 48:22, 57:21). A key to peace is forgiveness. Making peace can come through the avenue of forgiveness or be a dead end for those who refuse to forgive others. When we confess our sins, God forgives us and there is peace between us. True torture is being apart from the peace that come through forgiveness by God forever. We will be forgiven in the same way that we forgive others ( Mark 11:26). Now that can be a spooky thought. How do you forgive?

Peacemakers love their enemies. When we forgive those who hurt us, peace is restored in our hearts. We are to forgive others as we have been forgiven (Luke 6:27,28). Jesus was the perfect example. He forgave those who put Him on the very cross that He died on. The Bible does not instruct us to make our enemies our friends, it only says to love them. 

Love forgives and when we do that, we make room for peace.

When we also let go of bitterness and jealousy, we make peace in our own minds for ourselves. The opposite of peace is war. We truly wage war by holding onto things that do not belong to us. Sins of envy and roots of bitterness or pride can truly entangle the mind in spiritual warfare. There is anything but peace to the person who chooses to fill themselves with these kinds of things. Peace comes when we accept the fact that these are tools of the enemy to infiltrate our minds and we reject and renounce them before they reek havoc in our spirits. Peace is a fruit of the Spirit. Renovate your heart and mind by evicting any other spirits that are in operation in your life so that you can experience the freedom that peace can bring. 

Peace is in Christ alone.

When Sin Infects your Peace

Germs! I hate them. Yet they are everywhere. I am that girl that actually uses the little wipes they give you to cleanse the handles of your grocery shopping cart. Do you have any idea how many people have touched that??

If you could look through a microscope and see all the dangers around you, I bet you would want to curl up in a ball and live in a bubble. My first microbiology class for nursing school made us all squirm and itch. The germs are among us. Forget the five-second rule! You know that one that you claim when a bit of your favorite food falls on the bacteria-infested, feet-trodden surface that we call the floor? Yup....that rule.

The risks that we take breathing the same air on an elevator are unfathomable! I am especially leery of the folks that like to talk right. in. your. FACE, or those who may not wash their hands after they cover a sneeze. It's a scary world out here. We must beware!

Now...we could live in a bubble and in fear of every microscopic terror, or we could do the opposite and ignore the impending infections waiting to kill. OR....we could live life in a balance.

Sin is like that.

It is ever present because we are born into it. Adam and Eve, two imperfect people like ourselves were created with the inclination to disobey God. If we say that we have no germs.... I mean, never sin...then we lie. We deceive ourselves. (I John 1:10)

We cannot escape the fact that we are prone to sin because we are born with flesh. We cannot deny it, so we must be delivered from it.

As a nurse, I have seen germs at work in a body. They are sneaky critters that like to grow in dark, wet places as well as in plain sight like mold and fungus. All infections and infestations start small and seemingly insignificant, but eventually they make their presence known. Think about the word DIS-EASE. It removes comfort, rest and PEACE! The body is thrown into a cycle of war within. Your equilibrium is off. Your homeostasis is off-kilter. There is no rest until the substance that has entered is removed or annihilated.

Sin is a disease, but Jesus is the Cure!

When we are ill, we see a doctor right? The dis-ease is sometimes physical, sometimes mental or spiritual. Where there is a lack of peace, we can often diagnose sin. Our guilt will take a hold of our hearts and rip us apart from the inside out. Sin will destroy relationships with everyone you care about. It will make you look horrible and sick. It will not allow you to hold onto other things that are holy and righteous, you will abort them. Then it multiplies.

No one is safe with sin in their lives. It is a killer. The Bible tells us that the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life. (Romans 6:23)

Unlike anything else, Jesus can make you completely whole, healed and at peace. Whatever turmoil you may be experiencing is nothing that the Great Physician has not seen before. Let him be your cure.