Our Marriage Changed

 At first, I thought of titling this "Has Your Marriage Changed?" but, who are we kidding? With a worldwide pandemic happening and all of the things that come with it, we all have changed. The best news is that God has not.

I am sure that I am not the only one struggling with respecting current leadership, managing my home with work schedules and homeschooling and trying to figure out when and what to feed my family. Buying, washing and/or making more masks, deciding for or against flu shots and trying to maintain decent mental health in this hyper-racial climate adds even more stress.

We could say that we have changed, but better yet, we are adapting to changes happening around us. Could it be that we have not changed much, but that current life circumstances are just revealing who we have always been on the inside? 

Just as we apply pressure on a tube of toothpaste, we are being forced to reshape and express ourselves in new ways. As christians, our marriages are doing the same. I was furloughed for 3 months and Maurice supplied all income, then the reverse happened and he was furloughed for 3 months while I started a new job. It was a role reversal that reversed again, but never changed the fact that we were in this mess together. Our toothpaste was under pressures that the Lord allowed, but we never buckled and gave up on us. 

We became who God designed us to be - flexible!

We bend but do not break even as we see so many other couples causing current issues to slowly erode their marital foundations. We were not always so hopeful. It took time, but it was never really about our ability to hold this marriage together. Once we committed our relationship to Him, He took the reins and now, we lean and depend on Him together. Whether we are talking about what's for dinner, organizing the household, meeting financial needs or child-rearing, God must be FIRST.

You must decide to build your house on a firm foundation if you want it to withstand storms!

So how do we become sturdy, yet flexible in marriage. First, acknowledge that God is the third wheel in the marriage. All decisions should be mutual between you, your spouse and lined up with scripture. That is not easy, but we have to sometimes defer to our spouses against our own judgment in non-essential issues. It is humbling but worth it. Also, we have to refuse to go against the Word of God in our marriage. It is a standard that we agree to uphold. Period.

We also need to guard our peace and that of our marital partner. So many people are facing emotional and psychological trauma because home is not a safe place. 

Make your marriage a safe place to land and a soft place to fall. 

Be open to hear your spouse's concerns as well as their successes. We need to be able to celebrate with each other and shed tears on each other's shoulders. Let peace reign in your home, car and in everything you do. Sometimes we have to turn off the television and play a game. Sometimes we take walks in the park without our phones or just sit on the beach in silence. Other times, we just lie in bed and cry to get it all out. Be present with your spouse and be the first to offer to pray together. You do not have to be the answer to all their problems, they just need to know that you will be there with them.

We have changed. You have changed. God has not. Let's stay strong in the midst of these storms. Board up the windows of your marriage and hunker down. Together. Always.