We’ve all been there. You open a closet that’s been neglected all winter, take one look at the clutter, and want to close the door immediately and walk away. Spring cleaning takes effort. It requires us to look at what we’ve accumulated, decide what no longer serves us, and do the heavy lifting of clearing it out.
But as we stand on the edge of summer, I want to step away from our physical spaces for a moment and look at a different kind of clutter. Couples deal with a lot of emotional "dust" in the corners of their marriage, including us.
We are approaching twenty-five years of marriage and it's not by accident.
If we aren't careful, we carry the residual weight of old misunderstandings into a busy new season. To enter summer with a light, joyful heart, we need a simple but powerful tool of everyday diplomacy: Forgiveness.
When Offenses Gather Dust
In diplomacy, we talk about "frozen conflicts"—issues that sit beneath the surface, unresolved, blocking any real progress. In our homes, this looks like the small things we let slide but didn’t actually let go of. A careless word during a stressful work week, a forgotten chore, or a moment where you felt unheard.
Holding onto those pieces of clutter doesn't protect us; it just fills the sacred space of our union with unnecessary friction. Recently, together we cleaned a closet in a spare room in our home that we haven't touched in years. Needless to say, it was horridly filthy. Dust had gathered and it was painful to declutter. Marriage can be like that sometimes...
The Word of God gives us a very practical instruction for this in Ephesians 4:31–32:
"Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
Notice the phrasing: be put away from you. It’s a choice to gently pack up the bitterness, open the front door of your heart, and carry it out of the house. Forgiveness doesn't mean the hurt didn't happen; it just means you are refusing to live in the clutter of it. Tackle those dirty closets people!
A Gentle Guide to Clearing the Air
To walk together toward God (Amos 3:3), we have to be willing to adjust our pace and lighten our load. Forgiveness is simply the protocol that lets us hit the reset button.
As you look forward to the summer months ahead, here is a relaxed, three-step approach to clearing the air:
Acknowledge the Clutter: You don't have to make a grand production out of it. Just be honest with yourself and your spouse. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us to "Keep thy heart with all diligence." If a little bit of dust has settled in your communication, it's okay to admit it.
Offer a Clean Slate: Forgiveness means deciding not to use past mistakes as leverage in future disagreements. It is an act of grace that mirrors how the Father treats us. Come on - if He can forgive us, we can forgive each other, right?
Breathe Fresh Air into the Routine: Once the air is clear, make room for what matters. Plan a quiet date night, laugh together, and protect your peace.
Moving Forward Lightly
Healthy marriages are built deliberately, piece by piece. When we choose forgiveness, we are simply sweeping the porch so that the Lord can continue to build a strong foundation for our family (Psalm 127:1).
Let’s take a deep breath, extend a little extra grace to ourselves and our spouses, and walk into this next season completely unburdened. Let your spring cleaning make way for summer!
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