Time Apart in Marriage?

Many people subscribe to the idea of time spent apart while married is healthy while others suggest that being seen together more is better for the relationship. Let's look at the pluses and minuses of both!

Being Apart

Does absence make the heart grow fonder really? Taking some time away from your spouse can be refreshing and give one a sense of relief from the norm. It has become a more common thing for spouses to have a girls or guys night out or even a weekend, or a whole week. Absence makes the heart grow fonder right?

There is a great sense of relief to step out of the norm and spend some time with others besides your husband or wife. Most people do not think of this time as a vacation from their family but rather a time to get refreshed and bring their best selves back to their families.

The demands of home can be daunting and feel overwhelming. So having someone else cook for a change, or being able to really binge your favorite sport with the guys can be exhilarating for a while. 

Being Together

At some point however, you should miss your spouse and long to return to them. After all, isn't that what marriage is about. You go from being single and longing to spend every single moment together to hoping to "catch a breather" with just friends.

In the Bible, there really is nothing that speaks to being away from your marriage partner except the physical aspect of pausing intimacy for a time to seek the Lord during prayer and fasting. Some could make the case that being apart could lead to adultery, fornication and pornography temptations and should therefore be avoided as much as possible. 

Some say "don't look single if you are not". Hopefully, spending time away does not involve something akin to a bachelor or bachelorette party. In addition, shouldn't your spouse be closer to you than anyone, share your secrets and be your closest friend?

What We Think

We had an interesting discussion about this and found ourselves on different sides of this controversy. We disagreed about there being a need to be together all the time, and that having away time can be healthy. We agreed that spouses should always represent their marriage wherever they go and with whoever they are around.

It is up to each couple to decide if time away is something that both parties can agree on and for how long. Knowing your own spouse and making this decision together is the most important part. There is no sin against spending some time apart, but the Bible does encourage spouses to get back together soon to do what married people do! 

Do not deprive each other [of marital rights], except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves [unhindered] to prayer, but come together again so that Satan will not tempt you [to sin] because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:5 

                                     

                                      What are your thoughts? We would love to hear from you too!