Transplanting Emotions

Do not worry about tomorrow. Do not be anxious about anything. One day at a time. These are the things that we read in the Bible about worry. As we have been preparing for this bone marrow transplant, we have experienced possibly every single emotion! A little bit of fear, sadness, excitement, anxiety and joy. It is all happening - some of them simultaneously. Nothing rocks your life quite like the expectation of hope that a transplant brings, along with the lack of control and concern that it may not actually be all you hoped.

As I sat in the apartment that I was blessed to have close to the hospital, I am struck with the thought that I was also in need of a transplant, like my husband. His is physical, but mine is emotional. All of the people in this building are here because they are either a transplant patient or a transplant patient's caregiver. What a blessing to make such a place available! I have learned even more about transplants lately as you can imagine.

A transplant of any kind is replacing something good with something that has gone bad. Very bad. It is so bad that a transplant is the only and last option to get better. 

My emotional state can be like that. Sometimes, perhaps like you, you do not realize that you have been harboring a deadly emotion until it brings its ugly face to the surface. Maybe it's guilt or shame or bitterness. There are some sneaky ones that are like the cancer that has developed lesions throughout my husband's body. Indetectable. Deadly cells grow by reproducing themselves. That is what cancer is. They grow so rapidly that tumors or lesions result in a particular part of the body, like the bones and blood. Sometimes you can just remove them, sometimes radiation or chemotherapy helps. But the last option is a transplant. Do your emotions need a transplant?

A surgery to just take out the bad stuff is not enough for complete emotional health. No, we have to replace that space with LIFE! 

I have tried to hide my emotions or cover them up with a smile. I have even attempted to cut them out of my life by willpower and that works for a little while, but a band-aid cannot heal a hole!

First of all, you need a very good transplant physician. You cannot emotionally heal yourself, not really. Healthcare workers always ask you what you have done to attempt to help your situation first. After you give your list of "trys", they will nod their head politely and then present you with a course of treatment that can actually heal you.

In our case, the Bible is the medical book and Jesus is the way, the truth and the life!

This is not a cliche statement! Haven't you noticed that people try prayer and turn to God LAST. When all of our own effort fails, He is the last resort. But the good news is that He can still fix us every time. He doesn't turn us away or charge us what we cannot afford. As a matter of fact, He covered your cost of care already on Calvary and went through the needed procedure for your complete healing, "your wholeness". He is the cure and just wants your consent to have Him take over from here.

Being the caregiver of a sick husband has made me extremely emotional. Every day, I have to pray to get my head right. Before I spend time with him, I work on maintaining a positive demeanor, but he is my husband - he knows when it's real. You know who knows even better? God does. We can't trick him and we cannot do this on our own. Since we cannot fix this ourselves, what do we do? We invite Jesus to be the Lord of our lives. God created our bodies and He also created our emotions. Just as He can restore us physically, He can do so emotionally as well. It is a matter of surrender. But really...how do we do that? I had to ask the Lord to help me to surrender because when emotions are heavy, you need someone stronger to help you to lift them. Ask Him. When you pray, say something like this:

"Lord, I believe that You are strong. I am unable to deal with _______ anymore without You. Please help me. Help me to be diligent in applying the Word of God to my life so that I can be whole again. Forgive me not not seeking you first. Jesus said "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all these things shall be added to you" (Matthew 6:33). I am seeking You. Add health to my emotions. I give _______ to You right now. Replace it with the fruit of the Spirit in my life (Galatians 5:22-23). You are the way to my healing. You are the truth and my life. Control my emotions. In Jesus name I pray, Amen."