Kick the devil out of your Marriage

Some of us are used to chaos in our marriages. It is normal to fight daily and to struggle with communicating regularly. For many, the enemy has a space in your bed, a seat in your car and is welcomed into your home by way of several types of media. The devil is that third person in some relationships and we do not even recognize him. Well, I do not know about you, but I do not want him anywhere close to me or my marriage! The good news is that if we have a relationship with Jesus Christ, we have authority over the enemy even in our marriages.

We need to kick the devil out! Our weapons against the enemy are clearly delineated in scripture. Contrary to popular opinion within and without the church, counseling is not a cure. More money will not bring more peace. Another spouse is not the answer either. You will face the same battles with any person with which you align yourself in matrimony. In Ephesians 6, we see all the pieces of the armor:

The Helmet of Salvation
The Sword of the Spirit
The Breastplate of Righteousness
The Girdle of Truth
Feet shod with the preparation of the Gospel of Peace
The Shield of Faith
and
Prayer !!

These are God-given weapons or resources. We have these resources, this currency, in the spirit that we may not be using.

You can be a christian and not be using all the resources that God has put at your disposal in your marriage. 

You may have to exchange your old ways of handling these battles with God's way, just like a currency exchange in world markets. You cannot keep using the same old ways of managing life or you will keep getting the same results, right? Our old weapons (yelling, deception, stealing, the silent treatment, bribery) do not deter the forces of evil at work in your house. Try something different with a guaranteed outcome and a bonafide victory.

Prayer
In Matthew 21:13, Jesus says that His house will be called a house of prayer. If you are a child of God, and all that you have is His, then your house is His house. Prayer is one of the first lines of defense against the enemy in your home. It is literally how you put on the rest of the armor. Renounce and repent of your old sins and ask the Lord to show you how to arm yourself and your marriage with His weapontry. You will need spiritual eyes and ears to "see" and "hear" in the spirit. It is not spooky, it is actually more real than you can imagine.

Shield of Faith
The Word of God has power to change your marriage. We do not use it because we do not believe it. We do not ask, seek and knock because we can trust God with smaller things than our relationships sometimes. It may seem too big. It's been too long. It has always been this way and we have no hope for change. Well, that my friend is a lack of faith! The reason that faith is a shield is because it guards you from fear of the past, present or future status of your marriage.

The enemy loves to tempts people with worry and stress. Faith speaks life instead. The enemy loves to get you with that guard down so that he can insert apathy - when you just don't care anymore. We encourage you to hold up the shield of faith again. Know who your God is and that His Word is quick and powerful in your marriage. Just because you do not see the enemy's arrows or how the Lord quenches them does not mean that it is not happening! Where is your shield? Where is your faith? Even a mustard seed of faith will do.

Gospel Shoes
You will need gospel footwear to kick the enemy back to where the sun don't shine. The power of the gospel has a tremendous affect on your marriage. You may not have thought of this before. We named this blog "Walking Together Towards God" with this in mind. We are to walk out, live out and be an example of, Jesus and His Church to the world. Our lasting relationships speak loudly of the love that God has for the world (John 3:16, kjv). When we allow the enemy to come between us, we distort that beautiful picture. It warps God's masterpiece. We should never be fighting against each other, but with each other. Run quickly to maintain peace in your relationship! Resolve disagreements as soon as possible. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, leave peaceably with all men (Romans 12:18, kjv).


Girdle of Truth
The truth will always set you free. When we have invited the enemy in, we have to be the ones to kick him out. Nothing works better than the truth. For every lie your or your spouse have spoken, you can use a scripture to combat it. Post them over your bed. Put the Word on your desk at work. Play music with scripture that is tailored to combat the lies that you tell yourself. We are quick to believe in what is false. Train yourself in using this piece of armor. Whatsoever things are true...think on these things (Philippians 4:8, kjv).

Breastplate of Righteousness
There is a big difference between what is right and what is wrong. Unfortunately, our hearts cannot discern this well for us because they are deceitfully wicked. This is what the breastplate is for. This armor covers our vital organs and does not leave our unrighteousness exposed to the elements. This right standing with God is ours when we receive Jesus as Lord. The enemy loves to tell us how wrong we are. That is called condemnation. He may tell you that your bad marriage is your fault. "You caused your spouse to act like this". "You are the reason that the love is gone". Refuse to allow him to blame you, remind you of your sin or make you feel insignificant.

The blood of Jesus covers all of our shame and replaces our unrighteousness with His perfect righteousness. That is the power of the cross!

Of course we should repent of any sin that we are aware of immediately, but do not allow the battle of guilt to continue in your mind. Set your mind on things above and walk in victory.

Sword of the Spirit
Whether you are ignorant of satan's tactics or you, conversely, blame him for everything, you still need a good offense against him in your marriage once you recognize that this is not a physical battle. Flesh can fight flesh, but spirit needs to fight spirit. You cannot fight spirit in the flesh. It is a losing battle. The Bible tells us that the sword of the spirit is the Word of God. It is the Lord's very words that chase the devil out of your marriage. Stop using your words and start rehearsing His! Here are just a few verses that you can use:

But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. (Joshua 24:14,15, kjv)

No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosperk (Isaiah 54:17, kjv)

Submit yourselves therefore unto God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. (James 4:7, kjv)


Helmet of Salvation
The last piece of armor is what you have to put on first. Salvation is for those who agree with God that they are sinners in need of saving. They accept the abundant life that Jesus offers through his substitutionary death on their behalf. They know that the battle in their marriage is real. Your marriage can be saved, but God will have to do it. Our thoughts are not His thoughts. We need a changed mind and heart in order to tap into the victory of overcoming the enemy of our souls and our relationships.

A helmet covers the major senses (sight, hearing, smell, and taste) while the remainder of the armor covers what you feel. We have to learn to sense God. See Him. Hear Him. Smell when things are different and taste and see that the Lord is good. Marriage is not about how you feel, it is a relationship that represents Christ and His Church. The enemy is relentless to destroy it. It is the most attacked union on earth.

Kicking the devil out of your marriage is a must.  He will attack you. He will attempt to make you weary, bitter, doubtful of God's direction and apathetic to the whole thing. BUT, the victory is won and we really just need to suit up and let God fight this battle for us. Perhaps you feel alone in the fight. We would suggest that you gather others who are fighting the same fight. Stand together. Believe together. Kick the devil out together. Remember, "Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world (1 John 4:4, kjv).

3 New Year Marriage Resolutions that you won't quit

A resolution is a firm intention to do or not to do something. In marriage, we have already made the commitment to each other for life. However, we want to continue to grow and develop in our relationships with each other. Let's take assessment of our current status and work even harder to make our marriages even better. A couple of years ago we wrote a blog about accounting for your marriage every year. As one year closes and another begins, let's look at three resolutions, or intentions to make us both better.

First, pray often. We tried to make a commitment to pray together daily but yeah...that didn't really happen. When you do not meet your goals, you revise them right? So instead of praying together daily, we have decided to pray for each other regularly. It is actually pretty easy to say "Praying for you" instead of "I love you" sometimes. That is realistic. Then, actually pause and pray. You may even try to develop the habit of saying a quick "Lord, bless my wife today" with every hug. Another idea is to tuck prayer notes in a lunch sack or add a prayer for your husband with every meal. Now THAT we can do!

Second, resolve to encourage your spouse. Some days this is easier than others for sure! We all need it and we should be each other's biggest cheerleaders. It is important for husbands and wives to be encouraged by their own spouse. It is one thing to hear "good job!" at work, from strangers or those in your church, but how sweet it is to hear words of life from the one you love!

You can be encouraging in many creative ways. There are nice marriage cards or notes that you can buy or print off from pinterest if you don't know what to say. Be sure to keep it sincere. No one likes a disingenuous compliment. If it helps, make a list this year for every month of next year. Building each other up and encouraging each other is something that all christians can resolve to do in their marriage. ( 1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Last, be a servant. We saved the best resolution for last. Servanthood is not popular in today's society. It has a negative connotation for many people who equate it with slavery.

We are slaves to Jesus Christ, not to each other.

Servanthood in marriage looks like putting the other person ahead of yourself. Deferring to your spouse does not lessen you as a person, it makes you look more like Christ. (1 Corinthians 7:22) Yesterday was Maurice's first day of vacation and he decided to wake up early and make breakfast for our entire family. Servanthood. It does not take much to give, serve, share or let your spouse go first. The easy way to do this is to think about what you would like done for you. If you would love help with chores, do that for your spouse. If you want more time to yourself, help lighten the load of your spouse - they probably want that too.

The Bible tells us to do unto others as we would have them do to us. (Matthew 7:12) Look to serve, not to be served. (Mark 10:45)  Even if you feel as if you are always the one to serve, do it anyway. Your reward may not be in your marriage, but believe us that you will be rewarded by God. Do not grow weary in well doing. You will reap if you do not faint! (Galatians 6:9) Resolve to obey God in this, especially in your marriage.

The goal is to make praying, encouragement and service a habit. Make them a part of your marriage lifestyle now, and in the years to follow, not just another temporary resolution. Have a Happy New Year in your marriage!

FUN in Marriage

We are so excited to start a new year! It is a fresh chance to build on the foundation of our marriage. It is important to be intentional about enjoying each other's company. We have decided to share with you a few fun things that, perhaps, you have never thought of before. Hopefully, you can begin the New Year with some fresh ideas and plan out some fun things to do together!

(This post contains affiliate links of companies that we work with to support our blog. We may be entitled to compensation if our readers click the links....hint, hint).

Dating

So what you are married? The dating never stopped for us! We plan to try out a few date boxes this year. After our Christmas date with Get Date Box we were hooked. Everyone loves mail and why not invest in your marriage? During the cold winter months of Ohio, we are now looking forward to fun dating more inside the house. We sent the boys upstairs to play and we had a great time!

We also do traditional dating at a restaurant too. It has been hard to date out because we always needed a sitter for the boys. Thank God for sisters who take them off our hands for much-needed fun couple time.

Games

We have always been a gaming couple. We play board games together, card games, sports and TV guessing games. Another idea that we have recently come across is fun mystery boxes to solve together through the mail! We have recently discovered Breakout Games which has a lot of fun activities that allow you to work together. Team building skills are always needed in a relationship and it's fun!

Breakout Games

You have to subscribe for this mystery box that gives you clues to solve together. You then have the whole month to figure it all out as a couple (or family if you really want to involve the kiddos). We are looking forward to our first one very soon!

We would also suggest escape rooms. Nothing like trying to get out of a tough situation together to build your marriage muscles!

Exercise

We really tried to brainstorm about what physical activity (besides sex) that we both really enjoy doing. About four years ago, we realized that we both enjoy riding our bikes together most. We have taken the trails through parks several times. We have even played geographical location games on our bikes!

It is a great outdoor activity that is fun and also increases your patience (when one person gets tired).

Cooking

If you have not spent time in the kitchen with your spouse, you are missing out! Anything that lights up your senses as a couple is romantic. We really like spices! It is so fun to experiment with our taste buds and make interesting, fun dishes for and with each other.

This year, we hope to do a cooking class together with Sur La Table! They have incredible date night options for couples that include an entree and dessert. Heat up or spice up your marriage this coming year!

Marriage is a gift that keeps on giving, but it needs to be nurtured! We hope that you have fun trying these things. Do you have any other really fun marriage ideas? Comment with your fun idea and we will place your name in a drawing to be sent a sweet Valentine's Day gift for you and your spouse in February! Each comment counts as an entry. (must be a subscriber to enter)

Winter Romance: Four Ideas for when you are NOT in the mood

(This blog post contains affiliate links that we may receive compensation for if you click them, but we do not mind if you do :)

When it is cold out and the snow is falling, things can happen! This is baby-making season as some say, lol. However, the reality is that as much as we may be showing physical attention to our spouses, we may not be meeting their emotional needs. Romance (especially for a woman) is so much more than sex. In the winter season, the fact is that stress and sadness can cloud our attempts at being and reciprocating romance. As much as we are physically together, we may actually be very distanced in other ways. Depression, grieving and anxiety can take a toll on a marriage especially around the holidays.

Some couples seem to have it all together. They happily celebrate the highs in life and support each other through the lows. Everything looks so perfect from the outside. Yet we all know that any good marriage takes much work and intentionality. We have to be willing to give and willing to receive. You may not always be in the mood either. Heck, you might not even like your spouse right now, but we have to rely on the Lord to make these relationships work.

Romance reminds us that the other person is thinking of us. We have four great romantic ideas to share that will not add to the stress of the winter season. While they may seem unconventional, try them and let us know how it goes!

Mood buster #1: Reminisce good times

Recalling happy times together can cure the winter blues sometimes. We like to look at older pictures and even the video of our wedding day and honeymoon together. Romance does not have to be expensive. It has to be meaningful.

We often worry about the future so take a moment with your spouse to relive the good. Recollect details about events and people and relish those memories. Make them smile.

Mood buster #2: Pray Together

Yes it is not on most people's list of "most romantic things to do with your spouse", but we guarantee that it is!! How much more intimate can you be than approaching the all-powerful throne of God as a couple? In the book of Genesis, Adam and Eve hid from the Lord together, but what could have happened if they confessed their sins to Him together instead?

Even praying for your loved ones and each other's personal needs touches a deep place in the heart of your spouse. It is one of the most romantic things that you can do.

Mood buster #3: Get Warm!

If you have been following the blog for a while, you know that Anita gets very cold in the winter. Something as simple as taking a warm shower together or cuddling for longer in bed (without expecting anything) can be very romantic for her.

Another suggestion would be talking by a fire with some cocoa after a cold walk outside. See how that works - cold, then warm....and maybe HOT if you get lucky, lol.


Mood buster #4: Gifts

Recently, Maurice surprised me when I came home, just because. It was a beautifully wrapped box of chocolates. Thoughtfulness goes a long way in a marriage. Often it is the little things (like the fact that he knows that white chocolate is my fav), that makes a difference.

Maybe food is not the gift you should give. It may be an experience or perhaps a book. There are several really great gifts out there and we would like to offer you our sale code through this link to ChurchSource. Options abound, but gifts that draw your spouse closer to God are priceless. Here is a tip for the guys. Click the link below or ask her to pick something out for herself, especially if she likes to shop!

Get her the perfect gift from ChurchSource.com!

Sometimes it is not even the gift itself, but how it is given that matters more. Some people like surprises while others want to know exactly what is about to happen. You know your spouse best. Even when you are not in the mood, no one can romance them like you. Make an effort. Keep your marriage fresh and alive, even in the dead of winter.

Holiday Housekeeping & Hospitality (3 tips)

As you may have read on the blog before, we try to keep a tidy house even with our two boys. The holidays, however, can be a challenge. We often host the family and with people comes stuff and germs and dishes.

Holidays can be more overwhelming than usual, but I have developed a very simple system to stay on top of things while hosting events at our home (since we seem to be the go-to spot for parties).

So we have developed a plan for our home and we each have assigned duties to make sure that our guests feel welcome, but the house remains clean and organized. Here are a few tips for the wife who wants to make her home a place where Jesus Himself could visit.

Tip #1: Clean ahead of time.

I cannot stress enough how helpful it is to clean your house, apartment or living space BEFORE guests arrive. First, it puts you in the mindset of keeping everything in its place. Secondly, you are able to identify what areas need more help than others. Thirdly, you are less likely to be embarassed with an area that you have overlooked.

We do put our boys to work helping out as well. They are in charge of taking out trash, moving furniture and setting tables. My hubby handles all the floors and and I do the organizing for everything else.

Some additional tips are to quickly spot clean floors and baseboards. People notice these things. Keep in mind that people look at everything. 

 What are you advertising or representing in your home?

Also, be sure that your restrooms are visitor-ready. Being a mom of boys, this is a MUST for me. Stains and spots and smells are a huge no-no. Be that Proverbs 31 woman and just say no to dirty bathrooms, lol! I also like to air out my house so that dust does not settle.

Tip #2: Don't stress about the mess.

While you are hosting, please enjoy the people and do not worry about cleanliness. Homes are meant to be lived in. It is a time to enjoy your visitors and engage with your guests.

Maurice is often the greeter when people come to visit. He takes coats and welcomes everyone. The boys are in charge of all kids attending. They need to make sure that nothing gets broken. Our everyday rules also apply for events we host in our house!

Quickly offer food and drinks and make everyone feel comfortable in the atmosphere that you have provided. Do be aware of the noise level from screens (tv, computer or other devices). These can distract from your present company and create a stressful space. Even music should be in the background not the forefront.

Tip #3: Clean up right away.

This is the biggest tip of all. I am always tired after hosting a party or event in my home, but I do praise God for a tidy husband. We tackle the mess of the party right after, every time. It makes a world of difference! Wash the dishes, mop or vacuum and clear the counter spaces and couches.

We also either throw a lot of things away or recycle for something else. For example, at Christmas time, we take all the decent bags and wrapping paper and store them away for another ocassion or last-minute re-gifting. Decide immediately if something is worth keeping or not and put it in the proper place (re-gift, storage, recycle or trash).

After I am finished, I congratulate myself for a successful gathering and look at all the pictures, or just take a well-deserved shower and nap!!


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Hopefully this was helpful and you learned something new, or perhaps it was a good refresher. In any case, please pay it forward and share these tips with someone else.

How we serve and host is for the glory of God. A Titus 2 wife is a keeper of her home. This is just one of the many ways. Find more in The Titus Ten book HERE. Also, leave a comment on this post and you may be the one subscriber chosen to get the book for FREE!

Holiday Shopping for Tween and Teen BOYS

Ah...the boys! Well, after some hilarious discussion about how they would NOT be getting a million dollars for Christmas or a car or other outrageous gifts, we finally got a real list of potential items for a twelve and thirteen-year-old.

When they reach this age, they know what they want. We find that other people ask us as the parents what our boys want because they are also at a loss. We try to get their lists early so that we can, first, get over the emotional shock, and second, actually see what is affordable.

So here it is:

Twelve-Year-Old

1. Nintendo Switch console
2. Fortnite game for nintendo switch
3. Zelda Breathe of the Wild for nintendo switch
4. Carrying case for nintendo switch
5. Nerf Nemesis
6. Beanbag chair for my room
7. Spygear
8. SD card
9. Hotwheels
10. Beyblades
11. Kpop BTS sneakers (black canvas - RM)

Thirteen-Year-Old

1. Nintendo switch
2. Fortnite game for nintendo (if you get the switch)
3. Money
4. Amazon Fire 10
5. Nerf Nemesis (if you love me)
6. 32 GB SD card (if you get Amazon Fire 10)
7. Wireless earphones (bluetooth please)
8. Giftcards (Amazon, Five Below, Walmart)
9. Cellphone
10. Credit card

It was explained to them that a list is just that, a list. It is not a promise or a contract at all! IF we decide to get you something for the holiday as part of tradition, you will be grateful. We are not trying to raise kids who are demanding, ungrateful and entitled.

As you can see, our older son was much more specific, but copied off his brother too, lol. They often want the same things since they are fifteen months apart. Too cute! After compiling their lists, we attempt to get at least one of the things they really want at a discount or sale. We have even traded toys and gifts with friends who have kids close in age. For instance, last year, Chay got a scooter that was brand new from a friend at church who's kid was no longer interested!! Those run at least $200-$300!

Another idea is for the boys to go online and see how much these things cost. They often will shrink their lists for us once they realize that we don't live like celebrities. It is wisdom to help them to count the costs.

Christmas is about giving anyway, so we also encouraged them to make another list of things they can give away. That one is taking a bit longer! BUT, I do encourage you to follow my instagram stories this December for our instamas vlog through the holidays! www.instagram.com/anitamckaney

Gift-Giving Guide for Christian Couples

Buying gifts for your spouse can be a really fun experience if you know them well. As the holiday season approaches we are all preparing to buy gifts for many people. We have experienced times when gift-giving has been hectic and other times when it has been a joy.

Here are a few tips before we offer you a few of the best deals out there for couples right now.

(This post does contain affiliate links that we may be compensated for if you click them - so we don't mind at all)

1.  Pay attention. Know your spouse well. I know this goes without saying, but when buying gifts you want to take note of what your spouse really loves and what they really do not.

Notice when they smile, when they linger over certain items in the store or make comments. Be a detective and take note!

I really do not like chocolate much, but Maurice used to buy me chocolate all of the time. Once I purchase a men's devotional for Maurice but then realize later that it merely collected dust. These were not good gift choices for us obviously!

2. Be wise.  It is so important that you are on the same page financially with your spouse. Buying gifts can be a pleasure but it can also be a detriment to your finances.

You may need to discipline yourself to save money for a special item, but giving with heart is so much sweeter!

A husband may want to "surprise" the wife with a $5,000 upgrade on her wedding ring which would be very nice, but you could be really surprised that you are still paying for that gift 5 to 20 years later!

One is usually the spender and the other the saver. Plan accordingly. See this post for more on managing your money as a couple.

3.  Ask the Lord for help. As cheesy as that may sound Maurice and I have learned to put God in the center of everything!

God knows your spouse better than you do right? He can direct you. Give gifts that make your spouse better, not harm them. We should never give gifts that will indulge sinful habits or addiction.

Not all gifts are tangible, especially for married couples (as you know)!  your spouse may prefer an experience of sorts rather than a gift that comes in a box.  Get creative with the Creator!

NOW... We have come up with a  few ideas for gifts for engaged or married couples.  It does seem to be getting harder and harder to find things that christian couples can both enjoy, so we have scoured the internet for you and found some amazing deals!

Together Shop



Our new store with two lists: Gifts for Her and Gifts for Him! New items added daily!

OOLA Tea

A great variety of teas infused with healthful essential oils!





*** Every purchase feeds a family and we are proud to support such a giving organization ***

PatPat.org

A clothing site for families.



Christmas Family Outfits up to 70% off - New Customers get 10% off, enter code NEWCUS10, love PatPat

*** With additional purchases, you get higher percentage off coupons! ***

ChurchSource.com

A website for christian books and gifts.





*** Also, get up to 60% OFF couples books, bibles and gifts with our LINK!! ***

Find your spouse a bible, christian T-shirts, mugs, decals and MORE.


We hope that this is helpful to you and your spouse. Wishing you a very Happy ThanksGIVING!!

Best Marriage Resources!

We are huge proponents of christian marriage resources out there!  When we were married 17 years ago many of these resources were just coming out.  Whether you are a newlywed or a seasoned veteran in marriage, it can still be challenging to discern which ones are truly helpful for your particular marriage needs.

While there is lots of help available now, we still choose to focus on small group Bible study. The Word works! Although we do refer people to marriage counseling (because we are in no way experts ourselves), mentoring has a more profound impact in the marriages that we have had the opportunity to walk alongside.

It is great if a wife wants a woman's conference and if sometimes, the guys want a getaway to work on themselves as husbands. However, we find that there is nothing more effective than when a couple work together in seeking God's Word as an authority towards their marriage.

We have participated in several small group studies for married couples. One of those groups is currenting using the resource, "Building a Marriage that Really Works", a Precept Ministries International - 40 minute Bible study. This study literally allows you to discover the truth about marriage for yourself in the Bible. It could be done alone or in a group setting. We suggest it for any initial marriage bible study.

Precept.org

We have also have the privilege of participating in and facilitating several studies in the Homebuilders couples series by FamilyLife. These are best used in a group setting. It promotes fellowship and accountability among married couples.

FamilyLife.com

Years ago, we were able to attend "The Art of Marriage" conference also by FamilyLife.  The object was to get to the heart of God's design so that your marriage could be a masterpeice. There is a workbook (shown below) as well as a video component which is insightful and put together in a thought-provoking way. Couple's testimonies are included as well as breakout session options. We thoroughly enjoyed it!

FamilyLife.com

We highly recommend Precept and FamilyLife because they are trusted biblical resources for your marriage. We have only listed a few of the many options that are available through these two ministries.

It must be said that the Word of God, the Bible is the BEST resource for marriage. It was written by those inspired by God who is the author and founder of marriage. Read it FIRST and compare all other study to it.


This post is not sponsored and we currently have no affiliation with either ministry, but we want and encourage anyone seeking a biblical relationship to explore what they have to offer.

Church and Marriage (Part 4 of 4): Raising Christian Children

It is one thing to establish communing and fellowship in church with your spouse, but adding children will change the dynamic.

When a couple with children decides to follow Christ, know that there will be little eyes following who you follow. It is supremely paramount to give your children good spiritual influences as you would with anything else. We take our time t choose good schools and good doctors, so why not take the same care with something so important?

Parents are Spiritual Teachers.

Parents are the first spiritual influences for their offspring. We see biblical principles and precepts to mothers and to fathers in the scripture. Here are a few:

Proverbs 6:20-35
This verse encourages children not to forsake the commands and instructions that both of their parents have taught them.

Proverbs 1:8
Solomon writes to his son in this verse to obey his father and mother.

Proverbs 23:22
This proverb reminds children that the teaching of their parents extends even to old age.

Psalm 44:1
Children recall the works of God that were told to them by their parents in this verse.

Psalm 73:8
It is the responsibility of fathers to allow their children to "hear" the Word of the Lord.

Parents set the Spiritual Atmosphere

Bringing your children to church is great. They learn to worship, pray and make disciples. They can see examples of holiness and righteousness. They hear the Word and learn to apply it. They can practice their spiritual gifts, talents and giving. However, church should most definitely NOT be the first and only place where these things are learned and taught.

The most important place that ministry takes place is your home!

Deuteronomy chapter 6 gives examples of ways to constantly keep spiritual learning in the forefront of your home. Knowing more of Christ and the Bible should be central to everything that your children are exposed to. Here are five things that we have done that are examples of concepts found in that passage:

1. Let your children see you pray alone, with your spouse, in groups and encourage their private prayer. The Bible says much about setting a prayerful atmosphere. When kids pray to the Lord, often they learn dependence on Him for their needs and develop a real relationship with their heavenly Father. Encourage every effort that your children take to pray. It is always serious and never a game in our house.

2. Keep scripture on display and on your tongue. We have posted verses and plaques around our home. There are reminders in and on our vehicles. We speak about the Word and sing songs with scripture to help memorization. Even daily conversation has scripture references. We may say that "this situation is like.....in the Bible", or we may say that "this song's history is about this story in his book of the Bible".

3. Practice spiritual disciplines. Incorporating fasting, giving, evangelism and fellowship with your children. They need to see baptisms and the taking of communion. They also need to know the biblical requirements for those sacraments. We never excluded our children from spiritual activity.

4. Give them Godly alternatives and options. For example, we personally choose not to celebrate Halloween, but we do have really fun dress up parties and celebrations throughout the year. We go to concerts that lift up Jesus instead of ones that glorify sex. Even what clothing items we purchase or brands and labels we support are filtered through the lens of the Bible. Teach your children to represent Christ outside of church.

5. Teach them "as you go". The shows you watch, the music you listen to,  and the places you frequent are all presenting their doctrine to your child. We have had many discussions following things that we slowly introduce our children to. We believed in sheltering our small children from the harsh realities of the world, but the tween boys we have now are learning and forming their worldviews. We watch the news and talk about what the Bible has to say about homosexuality, the "Me Too" movement, guns in school, politics, world affairs and racial tension.

Informing their decisions before they make them is a powerful christian parenting technique.

We talk a lot. We talk about "what would happen if" scenarios and take the time to learn from other's mistakes. Our boys know our boundaries and God's laws. They know about His grace and forgiveness as well. This is one of the most influential things that we can offer our children.

Godly parenting at Church

Let them participate in Church. We are big fans of allowing our children to participate in ministry. One of our sons loves singing, dancing and speaking. He is always on the stage or at the microphone. Great! Just do what ever you do for the glory of God. Our other son has ministry "in the background". He loves all things "techy", so he works alongside the audio/video ministry personnel at church instead of going to children's church. We do not force them. Ministry is your service to the Lord. Know your children and help them to express their God-given skills and abilities through their personal ministry.



We hope that this is helpful to you as a parent. Please use the search tab to find other information on specific topics such as when your children should be baptized and take communion, our stance on dating and teaching children spiritual warfare.

“Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best.” Bob Talbert

Church and Marriage (Part 3 of 4): Doing Ministry

As we think about doing Ministry in the same church together, we have to remember God's order for the church. Jesus is the head of His church. The man follows Christ and the woman follows the man. This is biblical order. So when we speak about Ministry, we have to remember that it is for everyone in the body of Christ. We also believe that the gender roles in the church are outlined in the word of God. Women should prayerfully consider their ministry options with their husbands.

Since before we were married, we decided that we wanted to do ministry together. It was a challenge to find a church that actually had  opportunities for us to do what we feel that God had called us to do. We knew God for ourselves, had been baptized and had heard from the Lord regarding what we should do and we were looking for a church that aligned with that direction for our marriage which is our first Ministry.

It is important to have your own house in order before attempting to minister to other people and their homes. 

We would  do things such as making sure that our house was clean before we left for couples Bible study. We would make sure that if we were inviting someone over that we had spent enough time with our children. We did not attend missellaneous church events if it was a date night for us.

Some churches are flexible and understand the importance of making your marriage a priority. However we do know friends and family members that have served in churches that demand an exorbitant amount of time in comparison to their family investment.  As the word of God says you need to truly weigh your options and decide if what you are doing is truly worth the cost. Everyone should sit down and make that decision.

Ask yourself these three questions:

Number one,  is this ministry activity something that God has actually called me to do? We are all ministers and have a Great Commission, but will your gifts and talents be used for this ministry or is this something you are doing because you were asked and feel as though you cannot say "No"?  Obviously, knowing your skill sets and spiritual gifts is important as you make decisions regarding ministry activity. ( 1 Corinthians 12:1-31)

Secondly,  have you mutually consented with your spouse? It is important to be on one accord in church ministry because it will affect your marriage and family life. Is this something that will disrupt your routine if so, how?  Discuss your time, talent and treasure with your spouse. Will this require funds such as gas and travel time? Is this something that will take too much time away from your family or rearrange your whole schedule? ( Luke 14:28-30)

Last but not ever least,  have you covered this ministry opportunity in prayer?  Our habit as a couple is to seek God first and foremost ourselves to decide if it is even something that we should discuss as a couple. There have been times when our decisions have been made mutually, but sometimes it never reaches the ear of our spouse  because God clearly gives a yes or no answer. ( Luke 18:11, Ephesians 6:18)

Look at Abraham and Sarah. (Genesis 21:1-12) They knew that God had promised them a ministry opportunity in the form of parenthood. However  unbelievable it was, it was a sure promise. Instead of prayerfully seeking the Lord for clarity, Sarah takes it upon herself to rush the promise (because that is what we do sometimes). Ishmael was born and caused great trouble for the family.  Later on, Isaac, the promised parenting opportunity arrives, and they discover as a couple that they had taken a ministry misstep.

Following these three biblical steps instead is a sure-fire way to seek God in everything and also to keep your first Ministry FIRST!

Church and Marriage (Part 2 of 4): Five things to do AFTER church

Once church is over, how is life at home? While in church, we have often been that couple that  has put each other in the sermon and suggested to one another that it would be a great word for the other person.  Have you ever done that?  The message would be on submission and the husband would glare at the wife, or the message would be on love and the wife would glare at the husband. We have to remember that all of God's word is for all of us all the time. Although it may not feel especially applicable to your marriage at the moment it may be needed for tomorrow or next week or next year.

Church is the place where many marriages are brought together, however, it is also the place where some marriages fall apart.

When either the husband or the wife are experiencing some church hurt for some reason, we have to be careful to not let it affect our marriage as a whole.  At times, there may even be a couple in the church that we look up to and considered them as mentors and then they divorce. We have seen it happen time and time again.  Unfortunately, as much as the Bible speaks about divorce and how it displeases the Lord, it still happens way more among church members then we would like to accept and believe.

We do not hear very many sermons on how to deal with the grief that comes with couples divorcing in the church itself.  Other couples see what happens and it can either reinforce their marriage in a good way or it can cause them to believe that perhaps they are next in line.

We have to know that when  people are experiencing relationship issues within the church that it affects the whole body because we are ALL one body.

What we would like to suggest is that, as couples in the church, that we encourage one another in the Lord. As much as we hear about the negativity among marriages in church, we need to take an active stance to lift each other up
in prayer continually. Perhaps your church has a marriage ministry that you can be a part of or maybe a grief ministry for those who are going through divorce.

Sometimes we can see that people are hurting among us and we do nothing. That should never be. Other times we do not celebrate as much as we should when people have anniversaries and hit milestones in their marriages. Why not? We want to secondly suggest that it is okay to get in each other's business just a little. If we truly are to be one body in Christ we have to learn to deal with messy relationships and we have to be ministers of reconciliation for each other.

Here are a few practical ways that we can strengthen other marriages within the church itself.

1.  Pray for the newlyweds. Often times we attend a wedding and  assume that they will be just fine those first few years. However, we do know that many couples experience some of their hardest times within the first 5 years of marriage.

2.  Be a part of the marriage or couple Ministry in your church. Hopefully, the church has some sort of ministry that encourages couples and teaches the biblical  foundation of Christ and the Church. If your Church offers a class or ministry like this, we would suggest that you and your spouse pray about taking an active part.

3.  Double-date with other couples.  We have had the best times going out with other couples and sharing our struggles, successes and failures with them. It is helpful to have  an open and honest dialogue about marriage itself with other people who are experiencing the same thing.  One of the common things we encounter is how people feel lonely in their marriage. Let's change that.

4.  Celebrate anniversaries. Every single year we have an opportunity to make a big deal about someone's relationship. It is an open invitation to encourage their marriage send a card or speak life to their relationship.  There are several instances in the Old Testament when God encourages his people to celebrate holidays and remember what he has done for them. We should do no less for marriage.

5.  Learn from older couples.  Many of us are familiar with Titus 2 relationships where women are to teach other women. We suggest that couples should teach other couples as well. It is so encouraging and helpful to be able to rely on an older couple for advice.  Don't ask them vague questions like "How do you do it?". Dig deep, be specific.  Ask about good ideas for date nights, how they raised their sons or their daughters, how they split household chores or manage their money.

The Bible says that iron sharpens iron.  Marriages in the church have a wonderful opportunity to encourage one another and to support one another.  Don't be afraid to reach out.  Some other couple may be just your answer to prayer or vice versa.  The body is stronger when we all exercise towards the same goal: representing Christ well to the world.

Church & Marriage (Part 1 of 4): We Are One

Church and marriage. When we think about this topic, it often makes us think of the biblical equivalent of Christ and His Church. (Ephesians 5:22-32)  However, as much as we want to embrace that idea thoroughly, we also want to share some practical applications of being married and going to church together. You see, we have more recently come across many couples who do not share the same church home.  We have had several discussions amongst  ourselves regarding this topic.

Is it truly biblical for a couple not to be in the same congregation? Or is it actually okay because real church is not a building anyway?

Many of us know that Jesus was not a member of a church congregation per se. He was a part of the Jewish culture and was a rabbi. (John 3:2) So he did hold a leadership position in the synagogue. But Jesus was obviously unmarried as we know from the scriptures. So the question becomes  the Bible set any president for those who are married?  We also know from scripture that Aquila and Priscilla attended the same Corinthian church and ministered in that region together, then as missionaries later with Apostle Paul. (Acts 18:2-18)  So should we only attend the same church as our spouse especially if we are the wife? Or should we as spouses just be content to attend whatever congregation is beneficial to our individual spiritual lives even if that means we go our separate ways?

We can tell you that as a couple, we have decided to attend church together. It has been our goal from the beginning of our relationship.  We also knew from the beginning that God has called us to couple ministry together and that, for us, it would be quite important to attend the same church.  Knowing that other couples have chosen different ways to fellowship in separate congregations is their own business. We do not believe that it is a sin to attend church separately by any means. However, we also equally believe that it is quite more beneficial to attend church together.  Let us give you a few reasons why. 

1.  One of the first directives that the Bible gives us is that man "should not be alone". (Genesis 2:18) Now obviously, in context, this does not refer to weekly church attendance! It is his relationship status. We list this as one of the first points because as a married couple it is good to be seen together and not to be mistaken as being single. Ever. Anywhere. Temptation to be unfaithful is constant. Yes, even in church (especially there).

It is far better to appear "whole" than two halfs!

2.  Secondly, two are better than one. This is the scripture from Ecclesiastes and once again the context is not church, but it is about relationships. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12) It lets us know that in any case, it is better to have more than one person that is on this same christian journey. When we fellowship together, worship together, pray together and serve together, it greatly enriches our relationship with each other and with the Lord at the same time.  Growing closer together does not happen by getting further apart by attending church separately. 

3.  There should only be one head. When we talk about Christ and the church, the Word speaks of Him being the head and we being His body. (Colossians 1:18) When we have a Pastor who is the head of a congregation, the wife may be hearing one thing from her pastor and the husband may be hearing another from his. 

Divorced theology can quickly lead to marital divorce.

Unless we are both hearing from the same head our bodies may actually be heading in different directions. Where then does that leave your children? Which church would be "best" for them to attend? Subtle changes in theology can quickly erode the foundation of our relationships and our spiritual lives.  Men especially should take heed to this since God charges them as the priest of their home. 

We hope that you take the time to pray about such a massive decision and that you are quick to obey the Holy Spirit's leading in your own household. 

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This is the first of a four-part series on marriage and the church. We are so excited to get into this topic with you and would love to hear your feedback in the comments.

Housekeeper

Now that our boys are off from school, the house is a mess. Really. 

Every day, we have the same conversations about cleaning up after themselves, how important it really is to take a shower and to remember to unfold their socks before they go into the washing machine. We all live here together so we should all be good stewards of our space. This is not a new conversation, but a regular one in our household these days. It affects our relationships with each other.

In the same way, God expects us to be good stewards of the things that He has given us. (1 Corinthians 4:2). He has given us our bodies to care for, children to rear and relationships to maintain. Just because our situation or season changes does not mean that responsibility to be a good steward is optional. Just because it is summer, does not mean that our boys get out of cleaning their rooms either!

 Just because our situation or season changes does not mean that responsibility to be a good steward is optional.

I seriously had thoughts of hiring a housekeeper lately. I know, extreme for some but not completely out of the question as an option. A housekeeper does cleaning for a living so it would not be too strange to have them see our mess and come alongside me as an assistant. God gave us these two kids to parent, and we gave them a room to keep and a housekeeper could help us all. We can let them in, give them access to our home and they take it from there. Presto! A beautiful home as good as new.

BUT, a better option of course is just to allow my boys a learning experience. If they learn to manage their private and shared spaces, when they become a homeowner one day, they will have the blessed privilege to discipline their own messy children, ahem... They would learn that mess breeds insects and other unpleasant situations and discipline.

If we had a person come and clean, that would be great, temporarily. The problem would be the following days, weeks, months and years. Now follow me here. God gives us relationships to steward and sometimes having a person, like a counselor for instance, works well. God gives us children and sometimes having a babysitter is just the cure for our sanity. In our home, a housekeeper would make things tidy and we could all relax a little until, well....we need them to come back.

Like a housekeeper, the Holy Spirit must be allowed access into our private sacred spaces in order to do the dirty work that we cannot handle, Unlike a housekeeper, He comes to stay. He doesn't want to just clean what you show Him. He needs to get into that closet, rearrange what you think is organized and see all your undies too. He is not a housekeeper, He is the Landlord. He is coming to take over and He will not take no for an answer. When you let Him in, you give Him permission to disassemble and reconstruct your life.

He is not a housekeeper, He is the Landlord. 

Relationships,especially marriages can get super messy and He doesn't mind that. He has seen worse actually. And while it is nice to want to "hire" God as a housekeeper, as many of us do, He is overqualified for that position. You cannot maintain it by yourself and those in this thing with you need your help as well. God makes us interdependent. However, He also make it impossible without Him. If we had it all figured out, it would be clean by now. We need the help of the Lord - every day and all the time!

I think God laughs when we think we can be clean and maintain life without Him. That is how I feel about my boys. They are helpless and hopeless without a mom. We are the same without our Father.
What happens if we never let Him in and we decide that we don't need Him? Well, same as cleaning a room, it breeds filth and invites unpleasant visitors. Not letting God in is an open invitation to the enemy. He comes to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). There really is no good alternative. No invite equals an open door.

Not letting God in is an open invitation to the enemy. 

I am so grateful for His unceasing love towards us! As a matter of fact,  Jesus DIED to get us clean before God. He is working on us to present us spotless before His Father. He is not even ceasing to pray for us until every ounce of sin has been accounted for. ( Romans 8:34, Hebrews 7:25).

So, no, this is not a temporary thing, not at all.

God knows that struggle is real with relationships whether it is our children, our spouse or our co-workers and He wants us to hand over reins to Him. If He cannot get this house, our reltionships and our entire lives under control, no one can. Surrender it all to Him and watch Him work!

Defining Godly Mentorship: What it Really Means

A mentor is a person that you can look up to. Usually this is a person that you want to be like in some way, shape or form. A mentor leads by example and may not even realize that they are paving the way for others.

Godly mentorship is the idea of leading someone closer to Christ by your lifestyle whether intentionally or unintentionally. Being a mentor is being a representative. The Bible calls this kind of person an  ambassador for Christ ( 2 Corinthians 5:20). The mission that this ambassador has is reconciliation of others to God. The way this person lives, acts, speaks and what they do are allowing people to be drawn closer to or further away from the Lord.

Mentoring can be done on purpose by engaging others around you and encouraging them to follow Jesus. Many times there are opportunities in church or discipleship groups. Mentoring can also be done on purpose in one-on-one relationships, or couple to couple like we have experienced.

Mentoring is also done unintentionally. People watch how you live, how you interact and how you respond to difficult situations. Children watch their parents who are oftentimes unaware of how their behavior is being scrutinized and copied. Those in leadership or with platforms very often influence those who are following them as well.

Your marriage is mentoring other marriages!

What you say and do makes a difference. Who you watch and listen to is influencing you as well. Godly mentors have Godly mentees. Godly couples follow other Godly couples. You will always reap what you sow. Always. So if you want to have a great impact on others around you for Christ, you have to be that kind of example. If you want to grow in Godliness, you need people who follow Christ to look up to. If you want a strong marriage, watch strong marriages. It works both ways.

The most important thing to remember about Godly mentorship is that Jesus is the best mentor for all of us. Follow Him. Strive to live like Him. Emulate His example and obey Him just like He obeyed His Father in heaven.

Mother's Day Blog Series/Giveaway

This year, as I reminisce about being a mother to my two boys, I would like to take you on the journey. See and read about my growth (and theirs) over the past 6 years in 6 previous blogposts.

Here they are in order with links:


A Real Parent

Mother's Day

Happy Sunny Mother's Day

Why Celebrate

Becoming a Mother

What loving your children really means


If you are 1.) A subscriber and 2.) Read and comment on each one, you will be eligible to win BOTH of my books. Also, if you are a blogger or author, 3.) Add a link to one of YOUR posts/books about christian motherhood for an extra entry! One winner will be selected on Mother's Day and announced on May 16th! Use the hashtag #momdayblog!

Kissing for your Health!

It's TRUE! I am not just saying that because I am a nursing educator. Obviously, I have bonafide statistical, analytical reasoning behind such a statement. But I have to also say, that I know it to be true myself. As one who has kissed and been kissed for many years, I have a wealth of knowledge regarding this. Lol. Ok, so let's get to the real deal here.

A really good passionate kiss on the lips will stimulate a lot of things including more blood to your tissues and saliva to your mouth. It lowers your blood pressure and can help with cramps. It also feels good because you are releasing your happy hormone - oxytocin. It is a neurotransmitter that tells your brain that your body feels good and it also decreases your stress.

When you have all that extra saliva, it actually strengthens your gums and teeth also. Without moisture in your mouth, you are more prone to dental caries and other gum diseases. Dry mouths are uncomfortable anyway, so tell your spouse that you need a kiss for your health! Just make sure that your teeth are brushed and your breath is fresh :)

We "try" to kiss often because it really does connect you physically and emotionally to your mate. Touch is a need and couples need it most. I have spoken and mentored to wives who were starving for some physical attention. Just one touch from some other member of the opposite sex could be a turn on because they are not getting that particular need met at home.

July 2001

It is more than a love language, touch is a marriage glue!

Let me explain. The Bible tells us that it is not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). It also tells us that Eve, his wife desired the fruit that would lead to her sin. It is a desire to experience some sort of oral pleasure. Freud, an extremely popular psychoanalyst, has theorized that there are 5 phases of psychosexual development and that the first is oral. From birth we come to understand that our health and well-being is centered around what we do with our mouths. That is carried in to adulthood and we recognize and remember what makes us happy. Eating is one way, kissing is another. Maybe if Adam was busying Eve with the reproduce and multiply assignment from God.....jk (I digress).

However, not everyone is a kisser per se. For example, a light peck is ok for some, but other spouses may complain that they don't get those epic, passionate 5-hour make-out sessions that they see on TV. Let me give you some advice:

DO NOT compare your relationship to anyone else's - real or imagined!

Decide with your spouse what works for you. You may have to give a few more kisses or not quite so many. Your husband or wife may have a fantasy of kissing in a certain way. Why not try it? There is a time to kiss and a time to refrain from kissing as well just like everything else (Ecclesiastes 3). Some guys shy away from lipstick while others don't care. Sometimes location or ambiance is key. Your spouse may prefer a certain mood or music. Perhaps none of those things matter at all. But do Kiss! Do it for the culture. Do it for your health!

What ignoring Social Media did to my marriage

I quit social media for a month. It had some unexpected consequences and delightful rewards.

Consequences:

We didn't know what was going on. When I stopped checking facebook, instagram, twitter and snapchat, I lost communication with several hundreds of people. I suddenly realized that I missed my online friends. Some of our mutual marriage friends didn't even realize that we were silent online. I also realized who some of my real friends really were too.

We realized that we missed capturing daily moments through pictures and sharing in real time. Life slowed down a bit which was great for Maurice, but less adventurous for me. I actually like a faster pace of life.

Rewards:

We used the phone more and sent cards. My real friends actually missed me before 31 days were up. Deaths, weddings and funerals happened and instead of sending a post, we sent cards.

Those closest to us also reached out "just because". Real friends don't need a reason.

We had so much more time to spend together uninterrupted by the dings and vibrations of notifications. We had longer conversations as well. Imagine that!

We had more sex. Enough said.

We sent more texts to each other instead of other people. Maybe it was filling the gap that social media had left, but we definitely increased communication digitally and in person.


So obviously, the benefits of fasting from social media outweighed the consequences in our marriage. Maybe you should give it a try. Life does go on online without you, and your spouse may thank you in more ways than one!

Happy Valentine's Day

Just recently, one of our sons came to us expressing his new crush for some girl. Wondering who in the world this special girl could be, we asked him and he refused to share that information. Imagine that! Our 12 year-old wanted advice about what to give this girl for Valentine's Day, so we had a talk about treating older women as mothers and younger women as sisters (I Timothy 5:2). Not sure if that is what he was expecting, but we think it went ok.

BUT....As our special Valentine's Day gift to YOU, we have three blogposts that we would like to re-introduce to you. Hope that you enjoy reading whether married or not! Leave a comment or two. We love to hear from our subscribers!

15 Things We Know About Marriage

Marriage Investment

Loving my Husband

What am I supposed to do?

So many times during prayer I have asked this question: What am I supposed to do? We all feel that we have a grand purpose and I believe that is God's design. We were all created to do something in a way that no one else can for the glory of God. However, discerning God's will for your life can be daunting. Discerning God's will for your marriage can be quite the task as well (especially if you have never even had that thought). Many people mistakenly think that their marriage is for their pleasure alone - not so. God brings two people together in a relationship because He has work for them to do. You may even feel that your spouse's purpose is more defined than yours.

We want to share some biblical insight on purpose, how to figure out what yours is and what it means for your marriage.

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The only way to know what you were created for is to ask the Creator. However, in addition to the obvious, step back and take a look at your life. Every person involved, every situation, job, illness, defeat and victory brought you to this current place. God has been showing you all along that your life has meaning. You can now tell stories that were made possible by the hardships that you have experienced. You need to share them. You can now pass on the wisdom that you have gained from your mistakes. You need to apply it. 

And then there is your marriage. Think back to how many things had to line up in order for you to meet and marry your spouse. There may have been prior relationships that had to fail for you to be here. Perhaps going to that library, being introduced to that person, joining that church or sitting in a certain place just long enough led to the next thing and the next and the next. At some point crucial decisions were made and God nudged you to the next place in His design for your life that leads to your purpose and His glory.

After praying and pondering over what got you here, think about your personal gifts, talents abilities and desires. You are good at something and you need to pursue it. Other people have told you that they "see" something in you and maybe you ignored it. Well now is the time to unearth what lies beneath. Don't bury your treasures, give them back to God. Ask Him to show you how, when and where and He will.

Before we met, we both had the same desire in ministry. It was unique and specific - Couples' Ministry. We were surprised to find out that we both wanted to serve the Lord in that way. It sealed the deal for our marriage. After all...who would listen to single people about maintaining a Godly marriage. It happens, but I digress. So, in our case, we both were seeking the Lord for our purpose and had prayed about it. We knew that marriage was God's plan for both of us and we began walking towards God in that direction. One thing led to another and we were in a marriage group at church, then we led groups. We started groups and mentored other couples in our home. We were asked to speak at a marriage conference and this blog was formed. We do not know what happens next, but we do not have to. We are supposed to trust God. Life works best that way.

Once you surrender to God's purpose for you, it becomes His issue to work out the details of your life. 

Let go of the reigns and watch God line up the things of your past and present and formulate a beautiful, God-honoring future! What are you supposed to do? Let me tell you. With all your heart, you are supposed to seek God's kingdom before your own (Matthew 6:33, KJV). You are supposed to love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:30-31, KJV). 

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter Fear God and keep His commandments for this is the whole duty of man (Ecclesiastes 12:13, KJV).