The Unbroken Holiday: A 15-Minute Marriage "Bone Check"

The holidays are a "stress test" for families. Just like heavy physical weight puts pressure on the human skeleton, the weight of financial expectations, family dynamics, and busy schedules puts pressure on the "bones" of our marriage.

In biology, the health of the bone depends on the marrow—the hidden factory inside that produces life. If the marrow is healthy, the bone can withstand pressure without breaking.

This month, we are going to do a quick "Marrow Check" on our marriage. If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know that Maurice has been dealing with Multiple Myeloma since 2018. We are using this diagnosis as a teaching tool this holiday.

We are looking at the prophecy of Jesus—the One whose bones were never broken—and asking Him to strengthen the structure of our home this Christmas. Here is a bible study for you and your spouse as our gift to you for the holidays! 

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The Scripture (The Foundation):

"For these things were done, that the scripture should be fulfilled, A bone of him shall not be broken." — John 19:36 (KJV)

"And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh..." — Genesis 2:23 (KJV)

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The Insight (The "Aha!" Moment): When God created the first marriage, He didn't use dust; He used bone. In Hebrew, the word for "Bone" is Etzem (עֶצֶם). But this word means more than just a skeleton—it also translates to "Essence" or "Self."

When Adam saw Eve, he wasn’t just talking about anatomy. He was saying, "This is the structure of who I am. This is my essence."

Thousands of years later, Jesus was born into a human body. He faced the ultimate pressure—the Cross—yet there was a prophetic mandate over His life that not one bone would be broken. The enemy could bruise His skin, but he could not shatter His structure.

The Application for Couples: This holiday season, the enemy wants to attack the Etzem (the essence/structure) of your marriage. He wants to create "fractures" through arguments, fatigue, and offense.

But you have a promise. Because Jesus is the "Keeper of the Bones" (Psalm 34:20), He can keep your marriage unbroken even under heavy pressure. If we keep our spiritual "marrow" (our inner connection with God) producing life, our "bones" (our relationship structure) will not snap.

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The "Marrow Check" (Discussion - 10 Minutes): Turn off your phones and ask each other these three questions. Be honest but gentle!

1. The Stress Test: "Where do you feel the most 'pressure' on our marriage right now? (Finances, scheduling, in-laws, etc.)"

2. The Lytic Lesion (The Void): "Is there an area where you feel 'empty' or depleted right now that I can help fill? (Need for rest, need for fun, need for quiet?)"

3. The Unbroken Vow: "What is one thing we can do this week to protect our 'Etzem' (our essence/unity) from getting fractured?"

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The Prayer (Seal it together): Husbands, take your wife’s hand. Wives, lay a hand on his shoulder.

"Father, we thank You that You are the Architect of this marriage. We thank You that You took on flesh and bone to understand our weakness. Lord, this holiday season, we ask for a supernatural strengthening of our 'bones.' Protect the structure of this home. We plead the blood of Jesus against any spirit of division or offense that would try to cause a fracture between us. Fill our marrow with Your joy. Let our home be a place of healing, not breakage. We declare that what You have joined together, no pressure can break apart. In Jesus' name, Amen."

🎄Merry CHRISTmas from The Mckaneys'!

 

Holiday Shopping for Tween and Teen BOYS

Ah...the boys! Well, after some hilarious discussion about how they would NOT be getting a million dollars for Christmas or a car or other outrageous gifts, we finally got a real list of potential items for a twelve and thirteen-year-old.

When they reach this age, they know what they want. We find that other people ask us as the parents what our boys want because they are also at a loss. We try to get their lists early so that we can, first, get over the emotional shock, and second, actually see what is affordable.

So here it is:

Twelve-Year-Old

1. Nintendo Switch console
2. Fortnite game for nintendo switch
3. Zelda Breathe of the Wild for nintendo switch
4. Carrying case for nintendo switch
5. Nerf Nemesis
6. Beanbag chair for my room
7. Spygear
8. SD card
9. Hotwheels
10. Beyblades
11. Kpop BTS sneakers (black canvas - RM)

Thirteen-Year-Old

1. Nintendo switch
2. Fortnite game for nintendo (if you get the switch)
3. Money
4. Amazon Fire 10
5. Nerf Nemesis (if you love me)
6. 32 GB SD card (if you get Amazon Fire 10)
7. Wireless earphones (bluetooth please)
8. Giftcards (Amazon, Five Below, Walmart)
9. Cellphone
10. Credit card

It was explained to them that a list is just that, a list. It is not a promise or a contract at all! IF we decide to get you something for the holiday as part of tradition, you will be grateful. We are not trying to raise kids who are demanding, ungrateful and entitled.

As you can see, our older son was much more specific, but copied off his brother too, lol. They often want the same things since they are fifteen months apart. Too cute! After compiling their lists, we attempt to get at least one of the things they really want at a discount or sale. We have even traded toys and gifts with friends who have kids close in age. For instance, last year, Chay got a scooter that was brand new from a friend at church who's kid was no longer interested!! Those run at least $200-$300!

Another idea is for the boys to go online and see how much these things cost. They often will shrink their lists for us once they realize that we don't live like celebrities. It is wisdom to help them to count the costs.

Christmas is about giving anyway, so we also encouraged them to make another list of things they can give away. That one is taking a bit longer! BUT, I do encourage you to follow my instagram stories this December for our instamas vlog through the holidays! www.instagram.com/anitamckaney

Planning Holiday Giving Together

We decided to do the craziest thing this year. We gave all of our Christmas gifts out already to our family members. They have been bought, paid for and delivered to their recipients. We decided to do it over Thanksgiving to really emphasize the "giving" part of the holiday. People were definitely surprised  and that was the point.  They had another reason to be grateful and our hearts were full from giving. After paying off all of our credit cards not too long ago, we realized that debt had us enslaved. Never again! Yeah we know, it is a little non-traditional and different to spend for Christmas this way, but let us tell you why we did it.

One of us, {Anita}, is the spender of the couple. The other one is the saver. In order to really enjoy the Christmas season (which for a lot of Americans begins the week of Thanksgiving), we decided to do something different in order to focus on each other, the real meaning for the season and less on money.

Many married couples struggle with their finances. We didn't want this to be a burden and so we needed to be proactive. By making a plan to pre-purchase all of our gifts and to give them all out, it curves the tendency to keep buying because we see sale signs everywhere. In most instances, opposites attract in marriage. This goes for most financially as well. Usually one person enjoys the opportunity to save money so that they can purchase later.  The other person enjoys spending and can barely contain  their shopping habits.

We can use our financial habits to refine us or to  divide us.

Managing money is huge in marriage. Some couples have budgets, some don't. Some couples combine all of their finances together and some choose to have separate accounts. The Bible speaks to oneness. No matter how you govern your finances, there should be mutual agreement.

How you plan your money together is similar to how we should be in our spiritual lives. We know that we have an enemy. We know that the enemy comes to steal kill and destroy us. We know that we need to be proactive by making sure we put on the whole armor of God every day. We need to tuck scripture deep in our hearts and save it in advance for the appropriate attacks that we know are coming!  This applies to marriage, to finances and to everyday life.

Financial accountability is a spiritual discipline!

So here are 3 suggestions for any married couple:

1. Make a money plan for now and for the future. It is wise to determine how money should be spent and saved, earned and invested for now and for the future.

2. Bring about what changes need to be made and your family finances. Perhaps you need to reevaluate how money is being spent on a daily basis or start a savings account that will be used later on.

3. Since financial accountability is a spiritual discipline, the Lord must be Ruler over it. Keeping God as first in your finances means that you are somehow helping the kingdom of God to grow whether that is through tithing, offerings at your local Church or Ministry giving.

You may not be radically led to purchase all of your Christmas gifts in advance like we did, but do be willing to make great changes in your finances in order to stay close to the Lord and keep your marriage financially sound.