While the Spouse was Away...

At times, we have traveled away from each other. Sometimes it is for work, other times for a short break or vacation with friends. This past summer, Maurice was gone for a week and then I left for the following weekend. Our trips overlapped so we missed seeing each other for about 10 days! It was the longest that we have ever spent time apart.

Let's be real honest here. In a marriage, you have to have safeguards to prevent sin from creeping in. Being away from your spouse for too long can quickly and easily lead to pornography, adultery, masturbation and other non-sexual sin. 

God's made us all sexual creatures and His plan for us as a married couple is to be together in every way. You have to make a plan in order to prevent opportunities for temptation. We have had the same plan for years and we praise God that we have been able to remain faithful to each other even when we are apart. This is not a suggestion, you need a real plan, like, for real!

Communication

I was posting some pictures of my recent birthday girl's trip on instagram and I asked my audience about how they keep in touch with their spouses while traveling separately. I shared about how we text often and videochat each day. We send pictures and let everyone that may be traveling with us know that we are married and unavailable to "go out" to places where singles mingle. 

On the instagram feed, I got a lot of good responses. Check them out!

Physical Touch

This does not seem like a big deal, but watch touching anyone of the opposite sex. Even a "friendly" tap on the arm or a short hug can get someone really excited about you. Staring too long or even a smile can lead someone on. We are not saying to avoid being kind, but make sure that your motives are pure because many times, other people's motives are not.

Wear your Rings

I guess that this is obvious, but not as popular as it used to be. Although it does not stop any sin at all, it is at least a signal that you are taken. It is also a reminder of your vows to each other. Keeping them on is an easy thing to do. If it helps, why not?

Dress Modestly

The more attention you bring to yourself while away from your spouse, the more likely you are to get it. Please do not mistake me for saying that you should "dumb yourself down". Once again, this is about your heart, motives and intentions. You do not have to be at THAT place at THAT time wearing THAT. You know what I mean. Infidelity starts in the mind and heart. 

We try to be modest all the time, even on vacation. We expose skin for each other, not for pictures!

Speaking of pictures, here are a few from our separate times away....

Maurice's away room

Anita's away room

Common area with pool

Hot tub

Enjoying the views

Still wearing the wedding ring!

Temptation

Temptation is real. To ignore the fact that God allows it is foolish. The wiser thing to do is to prepare for it. It is the wise person who anticipates the moves of the enemy and has counter measures already in place for moments of weakness.

The Lord will scourge and chastise every son He receives. Why? It is because He loves us. Temptation is the same as it has always been. There are three categories of temptation:

1. The lust of the flesh
Your body craves attention. At birth, we desire to be fed and our bodies react violently without it. We do not naturally desire spiritual things and this part of us will die with proper nutrition. If we do not train ourselves to desire truth and not simply yeild to the flesh, it will overtake us.
2. The lust of the eyes
We are all seefood eaters. If we can see it, we can desire and pursue it. Lust is a powerful thing. It does not stop until it gain the object of its affection. Our very motives must be God-led in order not to fall into this trap. Looking up instead of looking around is a spiritual discipline that can keep us from much sin. Whether it is that peach cobbler you shouldn't have or someone's spouse, don't let the enemy catch you walking by sight instead of faith!
3. The pride of life
We can set goals and aspirations for ourselves, but unless they are rooted in God's plans for us, even the good things we accomplish are vain. It is tempting to get "puffed up" over the things we do and over people's acknowledgement of us. The enemy loves to make you feel good about yourself in an attempt to make you think that you really don't need the Lord. We have to remember that we are God-made not Self-made.

Scope: https://www.periscope.tv/anitamckaney/1jMJglEDYoMxL

Prayer: Lord, help us to overcome temptation in Jesus name we pray, Amen!

Action: Read Matthew 4 and examine how Jesus handled temptation. He has endured every temptation that we could face but without sin. He is our perfect example.

Fast and Pray

The Daniel Fast. Wow. Honestly believe that this is 1 of the hardest fast I have ever done. I've never done this fast before, but for some reason, this fast in general has really complicated my life.

The temptations are ridiculous! I have been tempted to eat food that I should not eat and I  have been tempted to sin in many ways. The flesh is truly dying here with all of the self discipline that is being imposed upon me at this time. I am truly relating to Jesus in the wilderness being tempted by the devil more now than ever.

However, at the very same time God has poured out some crazy, and I mean crazy, blessings on my life during this time. It begin on day 1. I decided to get rid of some things to crucify the flesh and to clean out myself spiritually physically mentally emotionally and in every way so the Lord could fill my life completely and mutiple  blessings were poured down that SAME DAY!!

After the 10th day my fast had to change because I caught a virus. Great!! Well, I modified my fast and kept praying. The verse that came to my mind was "obedience is better than sacrifice". I felt the Lord telling me to focus on my praying than my meals. Amen. He was preparing to pour out blessings that I was not prepared to receive!

By day fourteen, I was getting the hang of the Daniel fast. I had broken a few of the "rules" but did not really realize it. I was on to the home stretch. The Lord was stretching me physically and spiritually.

Fast-forward to day 21.....I'm finished. So, I have several observations. The first is that this fast requires some major preparation prior to beginning. There are so many rules that it is hard to concentrate on fasting itself. Honestly, I would rather go with a bread and water fast or juice and water than the Daniel Fast. Secondly, it was very expensive for me. Shopping in the vegetarian section is no joke $$$. Lastly, I found myslef more concerned about what I would eat next than what I was supposed to be praying about. I literally got frustrated. I would eat something and find out that it was not on the list (fail), then I would fix somethingto eat and I disliked it (fail), or I would eat nothing at all and my heart was not right because I was upset (fail). So I simplified the fast by limiting myself to less food. Sounds crazy right? I know, but I actually felt as though I was giving up something and making a true sacrifice to God. Sometimes less is more in my spiritual life. God does not always require of us as much as we require of ourselves.

Now I have to say that the Daniel Fast is good for many reasons. It's healthy. It's a good fast for first-timers, just a lot of prep is needed and money. I'm glad that I had the experience, but I probably will not do it again. I have done water only fasts, juice and water and bread and water. When I fast like that, my flesh suffers and my spirit grows. It does not matter so much HOW one fasts but what the intention and earnest plea of your heart is. May my fast be acceptable to God alone, not to me.  ~ Isaiah 58:5, 6