Church and Marriage (Part 4 of 4): Raising Christian Children

It is one thing to establish communing and fellowship in church with your spouse, but adding children will change the dynamic.

When a couple with children decides to follow Christ, know that there will be little eyes following who you follow. It is supremely paramount to give your children good spiritual influences as you would with anything else. We take our time t choose good schools and good doctors, so why not take the same care with something so important?

Parents are Spiritual Teachers.

Parents are the first spiritual influences for their offspring. We see biblical principles and precepts to mothers and to fathers in the scripture. Here are a few:

Proverbs 6:20-35
This verse encourages children not to forsake the commands and instructions that both of their parents have taught them.

Proverbs 1:8
Solomon writes to his son in this verse to obey his father and mother.

Proverbs 23:22
This proverb reminds children that the teaching of their parents extends even to old age.

Psalm 44:1
Children recall the works of God that were told to them by their parents in this verse.

Psalm 73:8
It is the responsibility of fathers to allow their children to "hear" the Word of the Lord.

Parents set the Spiritual Atmosphere

Bringing your children to church is great. They learn to worship, pray and make disciples. They can see examples of holiness and righteousness. They hear the Word and learn to apply it. They can practice their spiritual gifts, talents and giving. However, church should most definitely NOT be the first and only place where these things are learned and taught.

The most important place that ministry takes place is your home!

Deuteronomy chapter 6 gives examples of ways to constantly keep spiritual learning in the forefront of your home. Knowing more of Christ and the Bible should be central to everything that your children are exposed to. Here are five things that we have done that are examples of concepts found in that passage:

1. Let your children see you pray alone, with your spouse, in groups and encourage their private prayer. The Bible says much about setting a prayerful atmosphere. When kids pray to the Lord, often they learn dependence on Him for their needs and develop a real relationship with their heavenly Father. Encourage every effort that your children take to pray. It is always serious and never a game in our house.

2. Keep scripture on display and on your tongue. We have posted verses and plaques around our home. There are reminders in and on our vehicles. We speak about the Word and sing songs with scripture to help memorization. Even daily conversation has scripture references. We may say that "this situation is like.....in the Bible", or we may say that "this song's history is about this story in his book of the Bible".

3. Practice spiritual disciplines. Incorporating fasting, giving, evangelism and fellowship with your children. They need to see baptisms and the taking of communion. They also need to know the biblical requirements for those sacraments. We never excluded our children from spiritual activity.

4. Give them Godly alternatives and options. For example, we personally choose not to celebrate Halloween, but we do have really fun dress up parties and celebrations throughout the year. We go to concerts that lift up Jesus instead of ones that glorify sex. Even what clothing items we purchase or brands and labels we support are filtered through the lens of the Bible. Teach your children to represent Christ outside of church.

5. Teach them "as you go". The shows you watch, the music you listen to,  and the places you frequent are all presenting their doctrine to your child. We have had many discussions following things that we slowly introduce our children to. We believed in sheltering our small children from the harsh realities of the world, but the tween boys we have now are learning and forming their worldviews. We watch the news and talk about what the Bible has to say about homosexuality, the "Me Too" movement, guns in school, politics, world affairs and racial tension.

Informing their decisions before they make them is a powerful christian parenting technique.

We talk a lot. We talk about "what would happen if" scenarios and take the time to learn from other's mistakes. Our boys know our boundaries and God's laws. They know about His grace and forgiveness as well. This is one of the most influential things that we can offer our children.

Godly parenting at Church

Let them participate in Church. We are big fans of allowing our children to participate in ministry. One of our sons loves singing, dancing and speaking. He is always on the stage or at the microphone. Great! Just do what ever you do for the glory of God. Our other son has ministry "in the background". He loves all things "techy", so he works alongside the audio/video ministry personnel at church instead of going to children's church. We do not force them. Ministry is your service to the Lord. Know your children and help them to express their God-given skills and abilities through their personal ministry.



We hope that this is helpful to you as a parent. Please use the search tab to find other information on specific topics such as when your children should be baptized and take communion, our stance on dating and teaching children spiritual warfare.

“Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best.” Bob Talbert

Mother's Day Blog Series/Giveaway

This year, as I reminisce about being a mother to my two boys, I would like to take you on the journey. See and read about my growth (and theirs) over the past 6 years in 6 previous blogposts.

Here they are in order with links:


A Real Parent

Mother's Day

Happy Sunny Mother's Day

Why Celebrate

Becoming a Mother

What loving your children really means


If you are 1.) A subscriber and 2.) Read and comment on each one, you will be eligible to win BOTH of my books. Also, if you are a blogger or author, 3.) Add a link to one of YOUR posts/books about christian motherhood for an extra entry! One winner will be selected on Mother's Day and announced on May 16th! Use the hashtag #momdayblog!

Becoming a Mother

There was a time that I wondered if I would ever be a mother at all. After we got married in 2001, we waited for a few years and then we were pregnant with our first child in the spring of 2005. We were elated because we had finally saved enough to move out of our 1 bedroom apartment and become real homeowners! 

Our happiness quickly took a turn for the worse just a few short months later when I began to have periods of cramping, then spotting. I had been working full-time throughout my pregnancy in rehab. It was heavy work, but I thought nothing of it. I was also very ignorant about heavy lifting while pregnant and monitoring my out-of-control mood swings. I took a lot of my frustration out on my husband. We had told our families and then we lost the baby to a miscarriage. Incompatible genes they told us. Incompatible?? Bind the Devil!! Now, I was no midwife or OB/GYN nurse, but I figured two healthy people could have a healthy baby together without complications. It's been happening for years!

We found out after some testing, that it was a chromosomal mismatch of sorts. Not his fault, not my fault. The baby would have been a girl. I was so crushed. I cried and mourned heavily. "It happens sometimes" is what I was told. They eventually assured us that we could have children together, and to just.....try again. Well, after that green light, it was on, and 6 months later, we were pregnant again with my now oldest son. Fourteen months after that, we had our youngest son. 

God graced us with favor after a very trying period of wondering if being parents was God's plan for us. It put a great strain on our marriage and we were so tempted to blame each other. But we prayed. Through the tears and the heartache, we reached out to our heavenly Father for answers and hope. I continued to struggle greatly over that first loss even after having two more children! I think about how I would not have ever known our current children had we carried our first pregnancy to term. It's mind-boggling, but makes me so grateful to the Lord for (1) getting me through that hard time, (2) blessing us to be able to have children at all and (3) for my two, handsome, perfect sons!

Every Mother's Day is special to me. God has chosen every mother for their particular child. It is an amazing privilege and a wonderful opportunity to make disciples for our Lord. I have dedicated them both back to the Lord. We are raising them for Him. I love my two and wouldn't trade them for anything....ever!

CHALLENGE: Encourage a mom this weekend and give her a sincere compliment on her parenting. Ask if you can pray for her and do it

right away.