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Showing posts from 2017

3 Steps to a Regret-Free Marriage

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It is not often discussed, but it should be. People regret things in their marriages - their choice of a spouse, words spoken in haste, moments of poor decision-making. How can we live a life that does not carry marriage regret? Some would say that it is already too late to have a regret-free relationship. There have already been too many mistakes, do-overs and apologies. We would disagree. You see, in the same way that God  forgives those who ask and tosses our wrongs into the sea of forgetfulness, our marriages can mirror that kind of grace. After sixteen years of marriage, we have learned that as a couple you have to make the decision not to live in the land of regret. Don't go there every time you have a disagreement. Some people feel that if they had another chance at marriage, their regrets would be less. So, they start over. Smh..... So now, they are making a whole other set of regrets with a new person and the cycle continues! Today, we want to give you three tips

3 Ways to Support your Spouse in Tough Seasons

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There is so much that I could say but I will attempt to be brief. If you have been following our blog, you already know that our lives had had a major shift. Cancer has not redefined our roles as husband and wife, but it has reinforced them. Questions like "How do you submit to a sick husband?" and "What is it like to be a full-time mom and caregiver for your husband?" have been unraveled in this journey. It has been and continues to be a tough journey. However, like anything else, the circumstances of life must adjust to your marriage and not vice versa! Here are three ways that I have been able to support my spouse during this tough season of medical hardship in our family. 1. REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE ONE BODY First, know that your God-given position as a spouse is never the issue. The issue is the test or situation that seeks to either reassure your marriage foundation or crumble it to pieces. Our marriage is rooted in Christ. Period. So when the doctors said

Temperance

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Moderation, self-control and abstinence are terms for temperance. It is letting go of or holding back from something on purpose for a reason. Back in August I let go of something huge! It was my job. I let it go temporarily because of something more important - my husband. He needed my help and I was here for him. I let go of the confidence and recognition that I gain from being a professional educator for something less rewarding (at least here on earth). We let go of the security that money brings for a season. As Wifestyle Image Network was finishing the #FruitSeries studies on periscope, we were having a family crisis. We had been all wrapped up in the fruit of the spirit mentioned in the book of Galatians, when Maurice was diagnosed with cancer. It was more than shocking to say the least. I never even got a chance to finish the study on temperance because my life was already spiraling into something...different. I wasn't ready, but I thank God that I was full! You cannot t

Meek not Weak in Family Crisis

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On Friday, August 18, 2017 Maurice and I went to see a doctor about his persistent back pain. We had no clue that this visit would turn into a weekend-long nightmare admission to the hospital in the coronary care unit. This month, the W.I.N. ladies have been studying meekness and how to apply and practice it in everyday life. Well....what a challenge for me as a wife this was going to turn out to be! First they drew tons of blood and samples of every other specimen that a body can produce. Then came all the X-rays, MRIs and CT scans. Lastly was the bone biopsy. This was when I almost lost it.... Our boys were being tossed from house to house and neither of us were working at all. This was the worst medical situation that we ever experienced in our marriage of 16 years. We were both sleep deprived and emotionally spent, yet, we had to simply trust God and wait for what the future held for us. I am a nurse as many of you know, so how come I did not see this coming? I knew that God was

Faithful in priorities

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A worker is considered to be good when they have consistent attendance and contribute to the growth of the company. However, in God's economy, kingdom work is consistent service. God looks at motives not money-making. Success in the kingdom is His glory above all else! Today, take a look at your priorities. What is absolutely FIRST on your lists? Is it the Lord? If so, that's not bad but what is better is making Him central to all you do. When your life is centered around Jesus everything else revolves around Him. He is the reason, the purpose and the goal! Consistently pursue Him and let those things that do not find their purpose in Christ fall away. It's just dead weight anyway! The best example that we can give you is Jesus Christ Himself. In John 19, we find Jesus in the garden with His disciples. The soldiers are coming to take Him away to be tried and ultimately crucified. Sonce Jesus was laser-focused on His purpose and calling, He did not fight. He was faithful

Raising Children of Faith

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Your child is suspended. That was what I was told. Maybe you can relate. You feel like you raised a good kid, maybe better than most. You have taken them to church and modeled holiness in your home. Perhaps you even pray for your children regularly but they are still wayward. God holds parents accountable for the training of their children and their discipline. However,  the name that a child makes for themselves is their own burden to bear. In the Bible, we read about Eli the Priest and his sons. I can imagine that he raised them to honor God, yet they took it upon themselves to dishonor Him as unholy Priests in His tabernacle. Because Elijah did not correct them,  they all died (I Samuel 2:12-36) Parenting is hard. We love our kids. We want the best for them and discipline is hard. We have let things slip that we probably needed to discuss. I am sure that there have been times when we have majored on the minor things as well. But parents seeking to raise faithful kids have to d

Anointed Devotions Book

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I am devoted to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I am honored that He has allowed me to present my latest paperback book to you - Anointed Devotions! This book is a labor of love and sacrifice. I have shared my daily devotionals with my audience on periscope for over 2 years now and this book is a compilation of my quiet time with Jesus during those years. I encourage each reader to dive deeply into their time with our Lord. Most of us desire a closer relationship with God, but we are not ready to make the sacrifice to do so. The Cover This book cover almost brings me to tears. I asked the designer for a picture of a crushed flower that represents my life being poured out like the woman with her alabaster box. It shows what it looks like when we press into God. We are wrecked, but our lives leave the fragrance of our moments with Him. Our sin is exposed and we become naked before holiness. We are undone. I did not want my picture to be a focal point. I wanted to just be

The Fruit of Faith

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A little mustard seed of faith can grow acres of spiritual fruit! Prayer of Faith Consider prayer for instance. I waited and waited for Maurice to change into the man of my dreams. I wished and hoped and nagged, but it didn't work. However, I can promise you that NOTHING worked as fast as the prayer of faith. Why? Well, praying in faith cannot be done until your heart is right. I was out to change a man, but that doesn't really work. God had to change my perspective first. If I was going to pray, I shouldn't be worrying about my husband. If I was going to worry, I had no need to pray. The reality is, I could only believe God for so much. You know what I mean? A compete makeover would be miraculous. Now don't get me wrong - we were both saved and everything, but oh...the details in marriage!! I wanted him to do laundry my way. I needed him to understand that interior decorating was my department and I didn't want his opinion. He needed to be perfect and never s

Good fruit: Spiritual Growth in and out of Season

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The bible describes one of the fruit of the Spirit as goodness. The Holy Spirit within us can somehow produce good fruit. This is contrasted with the fruit of the flesh. If we "live in the Spirit" we will not exhibit fleshly fruit. The Bible says that these are contrary to each other. We naturally produce worldly fruit but it must take some supernatural fertilizer to produce spiritual fruit right? Living in the spirit is making the conscience effort to step back and allow God to lead your life. When we make decisions, one thing leads to another and that is how a life is formed. Your previous knowledge and previous choices have led you to the life that you experience today. But what if you had a fork in that road and chose to follow God down a different street? Then His knowledge would change the trajectory of your life. That is how living in the Spirit is. It takes you from living life on your own terms to readjusting your life for spiritual growth that produces good fruit.

Good Grief

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It is good to grieve. It is helpful and healing. When we wait to let go of things that bother us, we tend to emotionally "constipate" ourselves. Sometimes we are backed up with hurtful thoughts and feelings especially in our closest relationships. As a wife, I was queen of stuffing things inside. I would wait and wait to share some of my most deep heartfelt issues with Maurice. I figured that I was overreacting. On a good day, I would say that I was just a forgiving person, but the truth was, that I was not dealing with my emotions in a healthy way. I needed to grieve. Sometimes it was something simple, other times it was overwhelming. When things would finally surface, I would find myself very angry and I would not communicate well at all. Grieving is not just for when we lose someone close to us. It is also for other loses as well. Consider these: Sometimes we grieve our sinful habits! We no longer engage in certain activities and we miss them. There may be broken rel

Not good Enough

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When I measure myself by other people, one of two things happen. Either I am not good enough or I am better by comparison. However, when I use God's ruler, I always come up short on holiness. Always. There is just no way that my goodness even comes close to His greatness! The enemy loves to tell us that we are better than we really are.  He did it to Eve. In the book of Genesis, everything God made was good. Even the trees were good for food. The first mention of evil is in regards to the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. (Genesis 2:9,17). God said not to touch it or eat it. "Did God really say that you could eat of every tree in the garden?", whispered the serpent. Eve's current level of knowledge was not good enough for her, so she desired to be wise "like God" as the serpent suggested. We often figure that what we have, what we drive, our relationships and our money are simply not enough. We crave more than our current paradise. In this pa

Hardening Hard Hearts

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Bitterness. Unforgiveness. Holding a grudge. Sin. All of these kinds of things harden our hearts. They stiffen us and build walls to keep people (and God) out. The enemy knows that if he can close you in and get you centered in on yourself, that you will implode. We are made like a filter - emotionally speaking. We need to be able to cycle through our emotions in a healthy way. There are good days and bad days and those who follow Jesus need to learn to appropriate every feeling we have. The bible warns us to stay repentant and to remain in a place where we can be convicted by the Holy Spirit. If not, the hardening remains. Like a heart with vessels hardened by cholesterol, sin makes it difficult to feel for others and especially from God and then you die. The blood is there for your healing, but it cannot move to help. We only harden what is already hard when we stop the flow of the Holy Spirit. What you have been eating is now eating you. The Word of God needs to land on

Such a Gentleman

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We are working on teaching the boys to be gentlemen. They are being encouraged to open the door for ladies, to not burp or belch out loud, to be neat and clean and polite. It is important for us to instill in them that being a gentleman is something that is internal and external. It is good to be clean inside and out! When we remember that gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit, we can better understand that we are representing Christ in how we look, what we say and how we act and respond every day. We may not think that people are watching our behavior but we really are either bringing people closer to the knowledge of God or turning them away from Him. Our children are watching our marriage too! How does mommy treat daddy? Is she rude and mean or is she polite and endearning? Does daddy yell and slam doors or is he patient and sweet. Are we showing love or are we being selfish? Someone is always watching our actions towards each other. We model what we truly believe in our

Be Patient

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Have you ever been told to be patient? The person speaking is usually slightly annoyed right? Was it your parents? I have become my parents. I feel as though this is our daily mantra around the house. I'm trying to replace it, but it is quite difficult. "Boys be patient". "Stop interrupting and be patient". "Be patient with your brother". "Hold on. Wait a few minutes, ok?". I have come to the conclusion that one of two things is the case. Either I am not being patient enough or my kids are way to demanding - or maybe both! Or perhaps you struggle with patience in your marriage. It can be tough to wait on those answers to your prayers. We may be tempted to get ahead of God and not consider our spouse in our decision-making at times. Impatience can make our relationships extremely frustrating! But...how do you think God feels? He sees the end from the beginning, yet he waits for us to "get it". We are God's children and He has

Are you scared to pray for Longsuffering?

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Are you scared? I could see why. I have even heard clergy tell people to be careful what they pray for because God might actually give it to you. We don't like suffering, especially suffering long. Why pray for that? Is is really necesssary? The Bible tells us that love suffers long (I Corinthians 13:4) and we also read that longsuffering,or patience, is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians5:11). God empowers us to do the hard things. Marriage is hard. Raising children is hard. Getting a degree is hard. Living a holy life is hard. However, they are all worth it. Let me encourage you today. Don't be so focused on what you may have to go through in this life. The Bible tells us repeatedly to focus on glory and to put our hope and treasures in eternal things. All you see and experience in this life is temporary and fleeting - so is longsuffering. If you are married, God has especially graced you with a partner to go through life with. Think of yourselves as a team. You are not

Wait for it

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In just a moment.... Hold on..... Just give me a second..... Do these sound like familiar phrases? All of us have been on the waiting side and some of us have been on the "hurrying to serve" side of impatience. Patience is a virtue as they say. You have probably also heard that good things come to those who wait. Both true, but not easily accomplished, right? However, some of the bestest things (yes, bestest) are worth the wait! A brand new baby, a newly built home, a college degree, sex (yup...it's worth it!). It is the value that we place on the "longed-for thing" that makes it such a delight after we have waited for a while - suffered and pained for its arrival. It truly is our flesh that makes us so impatient at times. It demands its own way always. We are like this from birth and some of us never grow out of it. Maurice and I met online and we waited months and months before we ever met face to face. In was in this waiting period that we grew to

Making Peace

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We cannot manufacture peace. We cannot conjure it up and manifest it before others. Only God creates peace. Some people speak of making their peace with God, meaning that they get an understanding with their Maker before death - ask His forgiveness and finally set their spiritual affairs in order. However, I want you to consider today that it is not only important to "get right with God" but with people too and that none of it is possible without the Lord's intervention. The peacemaker is God Himself. We are unable to make peace with Him or anyone for that matter without His divine intervention. Just as we cannot forgive ourselves of sin, or be good enough before a Holy God, we cannot make peace happen. But we can be peacemakers by allowing His peace to work in our hearts. "Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God".  Matthew 5:9, KJV This verse implies that the children of God are those who make peace. It is throug

When Sin Infects your Peace

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Germs! I hate them. Yet they are everywhere. I am that girl that actually uses the little wipes they give you to cleanse the handles of your grocery shopping cart. Do you have any idea how many people have touched that?? If you could look through a microscope and see all the dangers around you, I bet you would want to curl up in a ball and live in a bubble. My first microbiology class for nursing school made us all squirm and itch. The germs are among us. Forget the five-second rule! You know that one that you claim when a bit of your favorite food falls on the bacteria-infested, feet-trodden surface that we call the floor? Yup....that rule. The risks that we take breathing the same air on an elevator are unfathomable! I am especially leery of the folks that like to talk right. in. your. FACE, or those who may not wash their hands after they cover a sneeze. It's a scary world out here. We must beware! Now...we could live in a bubble and in fear of every microscopic terror, or

Peace at all costs

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What would you pay for perfect peace? If you could have perfect peace about your relationship, your money, the kids, your job, what would that look like. Nevermind that it seems impossible. What if it were? What would your life look like then? We strive for peace (like a good vacation will fix our lives), but to no avail. Well at least I did. Work hard now and I will have peace later. Hustle now, retire then. But what about NOW? One thing that I am learning about as we got through this study about peace is this....peace is not for later, it is for right now, your current situation. You may be thinking "How is that even possible? There is so much chaos all around me!". It is true that lives will toss and turn us, but let me share with you the secret of peace. Here it is.... The Lord keeps those in perfect peace whose minds are stayed on Him because he trusts in Him. Isaiah 26:3 Let's look at this verse closely. The Lord keeps - The first thing I notice

Anointed Devotions

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Hello Friends!! My second book is here! Check out this 52 week devotional journal that can be started at any time of the year! * 52 weeks of topical devotions * space for journaling on the same topic weekly as we progress in depth * an online community for those doing Anointed Devotions here * pop up parties to share the book with friends + a FREE book    Find information here:   https://goo.gl/forms/zOBdVtP4LyLbjVN13 * kindle version for readers on-the-go * Anointed Devotions study groups beginning this summer * periscope community with "The Devoted". Follow @anitamckaney on periscope for info Join Us! Purchase your book at Amazon.com!

Rejoice!

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Rejoice and be glad. Sing aloud. Biblical rejoicing is usually not quiet and subdued. No, one would break forth into loud singing. You would cry out and physically jump. Have you ever shouted God's praises? Check out these instances in Psalm 33:1, Isaiah 54:1, Psalm 71:23 and Isaiah 49:21. I know that there are different schools of thought about this. Some people might say,  "It doesn't take all that to praise the Lord". Or they may respond that it's not done like that in their church. When Maurice and I were courting we attended very different churches. In my church we were loud. We jumped, clapped and played the drums. His church was much more reserved, solemn and meditative. We agreed as a couple that we both wanted something in between the two. Too much or too little, even in praise and worship, can be a distraction from the One that we are praising and worshipping! Just like anyone,  there can be times when we fall on our faces because we are

Pleasures Forevermore

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Knowing Christ fulfills our joy and at his right hand are pleasures forever. There Is no greater Joy than surrendering your life to Christ. Some may feel that this surrender would cost them everything but the opposite is true. He gives us everything we need to live and richly to enjoy when we surrender our lives and give everything to Him. Lately, I have had an interest in minimalism. It is the thought that less is more. Having fewer possessions helps you be more grateful for what you have. It causes you to not be lustful or greedy, but more appreciative. When the rich young ruler said that he had kept all of the laws and prophets from his youth up, he asked what more Jesus required of him. Jesus pretty much told him to give all of his goods away. "Give to the poor and follow me", He said. The rich young ruler was overcome and could not believe that he would have to do such a great thing. It is interesting that giving those things away would be the price of receiving

Real JOY!

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Real Joy has to be found, developed and cultivated in our spiritual lives. I say that it is spiritual because other emotions that counterfeit as Joy are only fleeting. They are temporary and circumstantial. Joy = Jesus + Others + Yourself. This order and priority can make joy a more permanent fixture in your life. Joy is much more than having happy moments. Temporary happiness does not last. It is based around what happens to you and not who lives within you. Get Joy The Bible tells us in Galatians 6 that Joy is a fruit of the spirit. It is the Holy Spirit that develops Joy within you. We also learn through the Word of God that Joy is something that has to continually be refilled. We see words like rejoice in the Bible. It is not a one-time happenstance. Joy has to be birthed again and again. If we go with the analogy of joy as a fruit, think of it as being reseeded over and over again. No matter what the circumstances are, no matter what life brings, Joy remains. So

Married Money

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Before marriage we manage our own money and finances. We decide what is risky and what is not, what we will spend, save or give. After marriage, our money gets married. What? Never heard of that before? It's true. If you are one with your spouse, everything that you have is now married too. Let's chat about what that means. Married Debt Your debt gets married when you do. You now owe more if your spouse has debt. Your credit score is now averaged and their debt burden is yours to share. Make a plan as a couple to get out of debt completely. It is very possible. One thing that you have to agree on is to not make new debt! Married debt, when out of controls, reproduces new baby debt. The babies are never cute. They suck the life out of you and your spouse and keep you up at night. See a debt counselor and consolidate into reasonable payments for your budget. Live simply to accomplish this. You don't need what you think you need! Married Spending In marriage,