3 Steps to a Regret-Free Marriage
It is not often discussed, but it should be. People regret things in their marriages - their choice of a spouse, words spoken in haste, moments of poor decision-making. How can we live a life that does not carry marriage regret?
Some would say that it is already too late to have a regret-free relationship. There have already been too many mistakes, do-overs and apologies. We would disagree. You see, in the same way that God forgives those who ask and tosses our wrongs into the sea of forgetfulness, our marriages can mirror that kind of grace.
After sixteen years of marriage, we have learned that as a couple you have to make the decision not to live in the land of regret. Don't go there every time you have a disagreement. Some people feel that if they had another chance at marriage, their regrets would be less. So, they start over. Smh..... So now, they are making a whole other set of regrets with a new person and the cycle continues!
Today, we want to give you three tips to having a marriage with no regrets. Read on carefully and apply liberally.
1. Communicate regularly. Over half of our regrets came from a lack of, or poor communication. We all know that men and women are created differently and we have different ways of communicating our needs and wants. You need to really understand your spouse. You may hear them, but did you really get what they were trying to convey? This is probably the biggest hinderence to a regret-free marriage! If you need help in this area, we recommend the "30 Day Prayer Challenge" that you can find here.
3. Remember that every day is new. God gives you new mercy daily, so you should do the same for your spouse.
This post is being published at the end of a very long and trying year for us as a couple. Without these three things that we have shared, it would have been extremely more difficult. Blame is easy, love is divine. As you enter the new year, or new week or new day, remember to communicate effectively, assume the best and show new grace and mercy!
Some would say that it is already too late to have a regret-free relationship. There have already been too many mistakes, do-overs and apologies. We would disagree. You see, in the same way that God forgives those who ask and tosses our wrongs into the sea of forgetfulness, our marriages can mirror that kind of grace.
After sixteen years of marriage, we have learned that as a couple you have to make the decision not to live in the land of regret. Don't go there every time you have a disagreement. Some people feel that if they had another chance at marriage, their regrets would be less. So, they start over. Smh..... So now, they are making a whole other set of regrets with a new person and the cycle continues!
Today, we want to give you three tips to having a marriage with no regrets. Read on carefully and apply liberally.
1. Communicate regularly. Over half of our regrets came from a lack of, or poor communication. We all know that men and women are created differently and we have different ways of communicating our needs and wants. You need to really understand your spouse. You may hear them, but did you really get what they were trying to convey? This is probably the biggest hinderence to a regret-free marriage! If you need help in this area, we recommend the "30 Day Prayer Challenge" that you can find here.
2. Assume the best. In our marriage, we had gotten in to the habit of assuming the worst about each other. If she was home late, she must be doing something with someone she shouldn't. If he was on the computer too much, he must be into pornography. It was harmful to our relationship. The Bible tells us that love does not practice thinking evil about each other. Ask yourself: Is this your practice? When something is out of the ordinary, do you assume wrongdoing? If so, decide today that this habit will end. Be optimistic and never give your spouse the need to worry (see tip #1).
Right communication with your spouse starts with right communication with God.
3. Remember that every day is new. God gives you new mercy daily, so you should do the same for your spouse.
It has to be your personal motto to start every day like a newlywed. We are not kidding! Remember that if you are assuming the best about your spouse that they will most likely ask for forgiveness today for what they did yesterday. You will communicate in a loving way that they can understand and be super quick to forgive. them Notice that we said "YOU". Part of having a regret-free marriage is realizing that it depends on you, not them. You may be tempted to have your spouse read this blogpost and accuse them of not doing these 3 steps. Don't do that...lol! Instead, read this one and make a plan together.
Mercy, forgiveness and grace are a happily-married couple's best friends.
This post is being published at the end of a very long and trying year for us as a couple. Without these three things that we have shared, it would have been extremely more difficult. Blame is easy, love is divine. As you enter the new year, or new week or new day, remember to communicate effectively, assume the best and show new grace and mercy!
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