Church & Marriage (Part 1 of 4): We Are One

Church and marriage. When we think about this topic, it often makes us think of the biblical equivalent of Christ and His Church. (Ephesians 5:22-32)  However, as much as we want to embrace that idea thoroughly, we also want to share some practical applications of being married and going to church together. You see, we have more recently come across many couples who do not share the same church home.  We have had several discussions amongst  ourselves regarding this topic.

Is it truly biblical for a couple not to be in the same congregation? Or is it actually okay because real church is not a building anyway?

Many of us know that Jesus was not a member of a church congregation per se. He was a part of the Jewish culture and was a rabbi. (John 3:2) So he did hold a leadership position in the synagogue. But Jesus was obviously unmarried as we know from the scriptures. So the question becomes  the Bible set any president for those who are married?  We also know from scripture that Aquila and Priscilla attended the same Corinthian church and ministered in that region together, then as missionaries later with Apostle Paul. (Acts 18:2-18)  So should we only attend the same church as our spouse especially if we are the wife? Or should we as spouses just be content to attend whatever congregation is beneficial to our individual spiritual lives even if that means we go our separate ways?

We can tell you that as a couple, we have decided to attend church together. It has been our goal from the beginning of our relationship.  We also knew from the beginning that God has called us to couple ministry together and that, for us, it would be quite important to attend the same church.  Knowing that other couples have chosen different ways to fellowship in separate congregations is their own business. We do not believe that it is a sin to attend church separately by any means. However, we also equally believe that it is quite more beneficial to attend church together.  Let us give you a few reasons why. 

1.  One of the first directives that the Bible gives us is that man "should not be alone". (Genesis 2:18) Now obviously, in context, this does not refer to weekly church attendance! It is his relationship status. We list this as one of the first points because as a married couple it is good to be seen together and not to be mistaken as being single. Ever. Anywhere. Temptation to be unfaithful is constant. Yes, even in church (especially there).

It is far better to appear "whole" than two halfs!

2.  Secondly, two are better than one. This is the scripture from Ecclesiastes and once again the context is not church, but it is about relationships. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12) It lets us know that in any case, it is better to have more than one person that is on this same christian journey. When we fellowship together, worship together, pray together and serve together, it greatly enriches our relationship with each other and with the Lord at the same time.  Growing closer together does not happen by getting further apart by attending church separately. 

3.  There should only be one head. When we talk about Christ and the church, the Word speaks of Him being the head and we being His body. (Colossians 1:18) When we have a Pastor who is the head of a congregation, the wife may be hearing one thing from her pastor and the husband may be hearing another from his. 

Divorced theology can quickly lead to marital divorce.

Unless we are both hearing from the same head our bodies may actually be heading in different directions. Where then does that leave your children? Which church would be "best" for them to attend? Subtle changes in theology can quickly erode the foundation of our relationships and our spiritual lives.  Men especially should take heed to this since God charges them as the priest of their home. 

We hope that you take the time to pray about such a massive decision and that you are quick to obey the Holy Spirit's leading in your own household. 

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This is the first of a four-part series on marriage and the church. We are so excited to get into this topic with you and would love to hear your feedback in the comments.