Kindling the FIRE of Marriage: Being Covenant Keepers

Marriage is one of life’s greatest blessings, but it’s no secret that it can also be one of life’s greatest challenges. For many couples, there comes a moment when keeping the fire kindled feels almost impossible. The weight of misunderstandings, unmet expectations, and life’s trials can make it tempting to let go. Yet, the beauty of marriage lies in its design by God—a covenant, not a contract.

The Bible reminds us in Ecclesiastes 4:12 (KJV), “And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” A marriage centered on God becomes that unbreakable cord. Even when the journey gets tough, encouraging one another daily can reignite love, respect, and hope.

Here at Walking Together Towards God, we acknowledge the difficulty of ending a marriage and the pain it brings, not just to the couple but to families and communities. While we can’t save every relationship, we will minister to those God sends our way. If you’re reading this, we believe you’re here for a purpose.

To married couples, we urge you: be each other’s greatest encourager, year after year. Share a kind word, pray together, and commit to forgiving often. To those around married couples, be a light of hope and love. Cheer on the relationships in your circle. Your words and actions could be the spark that reignites a dying flame.

As we close this year, we invite wives to watch and listen to this podcast to find encouragement and support. Our theme for next year will be “Covenant,” as we focus on the sacred promise of marriage.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! May God bless your marriage and every relationship you’re called to nurture in 2024. Let’s walk together, stronger than ever, toward God’s design for covenant love.

 

Giving Thanks for Your Spouse: Celebrating Thanksgiving All Year Long

Thanksgiving is a time when families gather to express gratitude for the blessings of life, but the spirit of Thanksgiving shouldn’t be limited to one day. As believers, we are called to live with gratitude in our hearts daily (1 Thessalonians 5:18). One of the most meaningful ways to practice this is by giving thanks for your spouse—not just in November, but all year long.

Marriage is a gift from God, a union that reflects His covenantal love for His people (Ephesians 5:25-33). When we view our spouse through this lens, we can see them as God’s provision and blessing in our lives. Whether your relationship is flourishing or you’re in a season of challenge, expressing gratitude for your spouse can transform your marriage.

Proverbs 18:22 reminds us, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.” This truth extends to both husbands and wives. By acknowledging your spouse as a “good thing” and a sign of God’s favor, you invite joy and gratitude into your relationship.

Here are ways to keep the Thanksgiving spirit alive in your marriage:

1. Pray for Your Spouse Daily: Thank God for their strengths, pray over their struggles, and seek ways to support them.
2. Speak Words of Affirmation: Verbalize your appreciation regularly. Simple words like “thank you for working so hard” or “I’m grateful for how you care for our family” go a long way.
3. Celebrate Small Moments: Cook a favorite meal, share a heartfelt note, or set aside time to reminisce about God’s faithfulness in your relationship.

In Colossians 3:14-15, Paul urges us to “put on love” and “let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” Gratitude fosters peace, unity, and love in marriage. As you practice Thanksgiving throughout the year, you’ll find your relationship strengthened and your home filled with God’s joy.

Let’s celebrate our spouses and thank God for the beautiful gift of marriage every day!

Keeping Love Fresh: Lessons from a Crab Date Night

This October, Maurice and I decided to shake things up with a seafood date night. If you’d been there, you’d have seen us both cracking crab legs, bibs on, hands messy, eyes locked over a mountain of crustaceans. It was all very romantic—and a little hilarious. There we were, pinching and cracking away, determined to get every last bit of crab meat. It was an evening filled with laughter, a little bit of shell splatter, and a reminder of why dates are so important for keeping our love fresh. As it says in *Song of Solomon 4:10,* “How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse! how much better is thy love than wine!” (Or in this case, better than crab legs!)

But this got me thinking: like seafood, marriage requires attention, seasoning, and a little spice to stay fresh. If you don’t keep stirring the pot, you risk letting things go cold. In *Matthew 24:12,* we’re warned that “because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.” Isn’t it true in marriage, too? We must intentionally guard our love so it doesn’t grow stale or get too comfortable. Here are three simple steps to keep the fire burning:

Schedule Quality Time. 

There’s nothing quite like sitting across from each other, phones down, and sharing a meal that’s a little out of the ordinary. A fun or unusual dinner keeps you laughing together, talking, and finding joy in each other’s company. And if you’re trying to eat crab without making a mess, you’ll definitely be laughing! *Proverbs 17:22* says, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” Make date night a medicine for the heart and the soul.

Express Appreciation Often. 

Let’s face it: we get so used to each other that sometimes we forget to express how much we care. But that night, between bites, I told Maurice how grateful I was for him. Those little words make a big difference. As *Proverbs 16:24* reminds us, “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” Don’t let your love grow cold—speak words that are sweet and nourishing.

Laugh Together. 

Life is serious enough. Laughter brings us closer and keeps things light. If you can laugh over seafood splatter and messy hands, you can laugh through life’s messes, too. Ecclesiastes reminds us in *3:4* that there’s “a time to laugh.” Find those times together and cherish them!

That October evening over crab wasn’t just dinner—it was a joyful, messy reminder of the bond God has blessed us with. No matter where you are in marriage, make the effort to keep your love fresh. And remember, whether it’s crab legs or life’s other challenges, love is sweeter when you savor it together!

A Family Adventure in ATL

In September, Maurice and I had the joy of taking our two teenage sons on their first-ever plane ride! Watching their excitement as we boarded was a memory I’ll hold close. They couldn’t stop looking out the windows and snapping pictures as the plane lifted off. Seeing them experience this for the first time reminded us of God’s simple blessings, and it truly set the tone for our trip.

Atlanta welcomed us with so many things to see and do. Although we had a big list of places we wanted to explore, God had other plans. We didn’t make it everywhere on our list, but in every moment, we felt God nudging us to just *be together.* From enjoying meals to laughing over shared stories and seeing the sights we could, our time was filled with joy and gratitude.

As parents, we often focus on planning and perfecting every detail, but this trip reminded us that quality time together is what truly matters. God used this trip to remind us to cherish each other, even in the simplest moments. We’re so grateful for this family adventure and the memories we made in Atlanta—especially for the chance to watch our boys take flight for the very first time. 

Enjoy a few of our pictures!

 

 

HOT Summer

Some guys profess their love with flowers, but not my Maurice!

This summer, I experienced a surprise that will stay with me forever. It was a hot, sunny day, the kind that makes you dream of poolside lounging and cool breezes, but my husband had something else up his sleeve. Out of nowhere, he called me outside. He had a surprise. I had no idea what to expect—a cute summer dress, maybe? A dinner reservation? But when I stepped out, I couldn't believe my eyes. There, gleaming under the sun, was a brand-new, fire-engine-red Chevy Blazer!

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. This was the car I’d admired for so long, always drawn to its sleek design and sporty look. The red color was perfect for summer, bold and vibrant, and the Blazer itself just screamed adventure. It was as if he had brought a bit of the summer sun down to earth just for me. And let me tell you, the first time I slid behind the wheel, I felt like a million bucks.

Now, every time I hit the road in that gorgeous EV Blazer, I can’t help but smile. It’s more than just a car; it’s a reminder of his thoughtfulness and the excitement of a summer surprise. Here’s to many more sunny drives and memories in this “hot” gift of a lifetime from the hottest guy ever!

 

Lil Maurice Rated PG

Praise God! When I was a little tike, of about five years of age (1975). I guess I thought I was some kind of explorer or zoologist or something, because I used to go around searching for Moby Dick (the fictional whale). I can't remember hearing the story, and I know I didn't read the long novel. But I was obsessed with finding this creature. Which is kind of embarrassing when I think back on it. Somehow I got the idea that Moby Dick lived down in the sewer system, under the manhole covers.

One summer day a friend and I, with our big afro's and bell-bottom pants, were playing at my house. My mother (RIP 1/8/50- 5/19/86) decided to take me and my friend with her so she could see her friend, who lived in another part of the hood. When we got there we sat on the front porch. The nice lady offered my friend and I some watermelon. After eating that, my friend and I went around to the back of the house, as my mother and her friend sat on the front porch talking. While in the backyard, being simple ones my friend and I had the bright idea to bark at the German-Shepherd across the fence. We stood there barking for a while like animals or more like Garanimals. Then l decided that wasn't too fun, so I went off alone to continue my search for Moby Dick. 

I walked over to the alley, and saw a manhole cover. I could hear the water down under the cover" so I stooped down and began to lift the manhole cover up. I had the cover up at arm's-length while I was still stooping. Then I pushed the cover over on it's back. In doing this I fell forward head first into the manhole. When I first knew I was going to fall, I thought to myself "It would be 'shaarp' if I could do a flip and spin like the gymnast do". As I was thinking that it miraculously was happening in slow motion 🔁. I ended up hanging from the side of the manhole, on the same side but facing the opposite way I fell. While hanging there I could see and feel the rushing water soak my shoes and splash about six inches up my legs. Then I saw the iron steps that are on the side of a manhole right in front of me. For a split second I thought "I could use these steps to go down and look for Moby Dick". But that would've been a bad choice, being pro-life and all, therefore a little fear set in and I decided to climb out. As I was climbing out I remember looking over a little angry at my friend, he was still barking at that dog. I couldn't believe it! When I got out I ran around the outside of the house and told my mother what happened and showed her my water soaked pants. I'm not sure if she believed me at the time. But we did leave soon, and we never went back over there. More recently I began to think that other than a miracle it would've been physically impossible for me to end up hanging and facing that opposite way if I didn't do that particular flip and spin. Fortunately that manhole cover fell backwards and didn't come down on me hanging there or my hands, fortunately the manhole steps were right in front of me, and again fortunately a car didn't come flying down the alley at the wrong time.

God's word says and I bear testimony to it: "Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?" Hebrews 1:14. And Jesus Christ said: "See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.” Matthew 18:10 

Parents: Please teach your children how to play safely.

Spousal Support in Bereavement - Missing Daddy

We have been silent on this blog. We have been quietly holding each other up. This is why.

Just a few years into our marriage, we lost Maurice's dad and on February 23rd my dad passed from earth to eternity. Some would say that we are now fatherless, but we beg to differ.

My father - Arnold Lee Harden gave his life to Jesus Christ as a teenager and served in his local church. He then married, had three girls and became a deacon in his latter years.

We know that life begins when we receive Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, so my dad is living his BEST life right now! I got that full revelation on Easter Sunday weekend. I was tempted to deeply mourn during the holidays, but then, I remembered that this year was my dad's first Easter with Jesus Himself - how glorious!

All couples deal with death differently. When your spouse is hurting, how do you support them? Here are a few things that Maurice did for me.

Letting Me Cry

I do not think I have ever cried so much on my life. I cried morning, noon and night. I cried in the shower, at work and at the grocery store. Everything reminded me of my loss. I was not okay. Allowing tears and being a shoulder that is there brings comfort.

Feeding Me

During bereavement some people lose weight, others cannot eat. It is important to maintain good health. There were times when I lost track of time and could not remember what day it was, or if I had eaten yet. Watch your mourning spouse and pay attention to their physical health. I was fragile in more ways than one.

Staying With Me

He made the sacrifice to be at my father's funeral with me even though he had chemotherapy immediately following. I will never forget that loving support! Presence is invaluable.❤️ 

Showing Patience

During loss, your spouse may need you by their side more than ever. Or they may need more quiet time alone. Emotions can shift greatly during this time, so patience is key.

Praying For Me

Prayer can never be underestimated. Little did I know that my anemia had worstened during this time. I was not taking my vitamins and supplements. By the time of my next Dr appointment,  they were considering blood transfusions. Thank God they were not needed. When I asked Maurice if he was praying for me, he said "Yes". It was music to my ears.

The loss of both of our dads has brought us closer to our Heavenly Father and definitely to each other.

Death is hard but death without Jesus is harder.

As a couple, we have been supportive of each other in life and in death keeping our vows. Bereavement can last a very long time. Prayerfully your marriage will outlast it.

Communicate Better in 2024

 

Men and Women are different. We communicate differently. Some of us are talkers, others are better at listening. We actually comprehend on various levels that depend on our cirucumstances, mood and history with the person with which we are speaking. Even the words that we are using may have shades of meaning that we did not even intend.

Communication is both sharing and understanding. When couples both seek to come to a mutual understanding that is the best starting point. Our goal may be to resolve a conflict or make a decision. Once we share our heart with each other, the next step is being able to completely comprehend your partner's position as well.

Here are ten ways for couples to improve communication and increase understanding quickly.

- Pray together every day. This will help you align your hearts and minds with God's will and purpose for your marriage. "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them." (Matthew 18:20) This may be a new commitment to some, but this is your primary relationship after Christ. It is worth the time to pray together daily.

- Listen actively and empathetically. Don't interrupt, judge, or criticize your spouse when they are sharing their thoughts and feelings. Try to understand their perspective and emotions. Men tend to be more logical and factual, while women tend to be more intuitive and emotional. "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." (James 1:19) Some couples have even set a timer to give each person equal time to "have their say".

- Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. This will help you express your needs and feelings without blaming or accusing your spouse of anything. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29) It may also help to let your spouse know that your intention is never to anger or upset them.

- Avoid sarcasm, name-calling, and insults. These are hurtful and disrespectful ways of communicating that can damage your relationship and trust. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29) Eliminate these things completely. 

HOW you communicate is just as important and WHAT you are saying.

- Share positive feedback and appreciation. Don't take your spouse for granted or focus only on the negative aspects of your marriage. Tell them what you love and admire about them and how they make you happy. Men need respect and admiration, while women need love and affection. "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (Ephesians 5:33) No matter what you are saying, add something positive or affirmative - it will be better received.

- Schedule regular date nights and quality time. This will help you reconnect and enjoy each other's company. You can also use this time to discuss important issues or goals in a relaxed and romantic setting. "Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love." (Ecclesiastes 9:9) Marriage should be fun! Every week or a couple of times a month prioritize the one your soul loves.

- Learn your spouse's love language and speak it often. Everyone has a different way of expressing and receiving love, such as words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, physical touch, or quality time. Find out what makes your spouse feel loved and do it frequently. "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:4) This really does make a huge difference when you individualize loving your mate.

- Seek professional help if needed. Sometimes, communication problems are too complex or deep-rooted to be solved by yourselves. Don't be ashamed or afraid to ask for help from a counselor, pastor, or mentor who can guide you through the process of healing and restoration. "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety." (Proverbs 11:14)

- Be honest and transparent. Don't hide anything from your spouse or lie to them about anything EVER. Trust is essential for a healthy and happy marriage, and it can only be built on honesty and integrity. "Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body." (Ephesians 4:25)

- Forgive and ask for forgiveness. No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes. Don't hold grudges or resentment against your spouse for their faults or failures. Be quick to forgive them and ask for their forgiveness when you mess up. "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)

We hope that these things will greatly improve your relationship in 2024. Keep trying. Keep practicing love and all things will "..work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)