Communicate Better in 2024

 

Men and Women are different. We communicate differently. Some of us are talkers, others are better at listening. We actually comprehend on various levels that depend on our cirucumstances, mood and history with the person with which we are speaking. Even the words that we are using may have shades of meaning that we did not even intend.

Communication is both sharing and understanding. When couples both seek to come to a mutual understanding that is the best starting point. Our goal may be to resolve a conflict or make a decision. Once we share our heart with each other, the next step is being able to completely comprehend your partner's position as well.

Here are ten ways for couples to improve communication and increase understanding quickly.

- Pray together every day. This will help you align your hearts and minds with God's will and purpose for your marriage. "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them." (Matthew 18:20) This may be a new commitment to some, but this is your primary relationship after Christ. It is worth the time to pray together daily.

- Listen actively and empathetically. Don't interrupt, judge, or criticize your spouse when they are sharing their thoughts and feelings. Try to understand their perspective and emotions. Men tend to be more logical and factual, while women tend to be more intuitive and emotional. "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." (James 1:19) Some couples have even set a timer to give each person equal time to "have their say".

- Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. This will help you express your needs and feelings without blaming or accusing your spouse of anything. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29) It may also help to let your spouse know that your intention is never to anger or upset them.

- Avoid sarcasm, name-calling, and insults. These are hurtful and disrespectful ways of communicating that can damage your relationship and trust. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29) Eliminate these things completely. 

HOW you communicate is just as important and WHAT you are saying.

- Share positive feedback and appreciation. Don't take your spouse for granted or focus only on the negative aspects of your marriage. Tell them what you love and admire about them and how they make you happy. Men need respect and admiration, while women need love and affection. "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (Ephesians 5:33) No matter what you are saying, add something positive or affirmative - it will be better received.

- Schedule regular date nights and quality time. This will help you reconnect and enjoy each other's company. You can also use this time to discuss important issues or goals in a relaxed and romantic setting. "Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love." (Ecclesiastes 9:9) Marriage should be fun! Every week or a couple of times a month prioritize the one your soul loves.

- Learn your spouse's love language and speak it often. Everyone has a different way of expressing and receiving love, such as words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, physical touch, or quality time. Find out what makes your spouse feel loved and do it frequently. "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:4) This really does make a huge difference when you individualize loving your mate.

- Seek professional help if needed. Sometimes, communication problems are too complex or deep-rooted to be solved by yourselves. Don't be ashamed or afraid to ask for help from a counselor, pastor, or mentor who can guide you through the process of healing and restoration. "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety." (Proverbs 11:14)

- Be honest and transparent. Don't hide anything from your spouse or lie to them about anything EVER. Trust is essential for a healthy and happy marriage, and it can only be built on honesty and integrity. "Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body." (Ephesians 4:25)

- Forgive and ask for forgiveness. No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes. Don't hold grudges or resentment against your spouse for their faults or failures. Be quick to forgive them and ask for their forgiveness when you mess up. "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)

We hope that these things will greatly improve your relationship in 2024. Keep trying. Keep practicing love and all things will "..work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)