Spousal Support in Bereavement - Missing Daddy
We have been silent on this blog. We have been quietly holding each other up. This is why.
Just a few years into our marriage, we lost Maurice's dad and on February 23rd my dad passed from earth to eternity. Some would say that we are now fatherless, but we beg to differ.
My father - Arnold Lee Harden gave his life to Jesus Christ as a teenager and served in his local church. He then married, had three girls and became a deacon in his latter years.
All couples deal with death differently. When your spouse is hurting, how do you support them? Here are a few things that Maurice did for me.
Letting Me Cry
I do not think I have ever cried so much on my life. I cried morning, noon and night. I cried in the shower, at work and at the grocery store. Everything reminded me of my loss. I was not okay. Allowing tears and being a shoulder that is there brings comfort.
Feeding Me
During bereavement some people lose weight, others cannot eat. It is important to maintain good health. There were times when I lost track of time and could not remember what day it was, or if I had eaten yet. Watch your mourning spouse and pay attention to their physical health. I was fragile in more ways than one.
Staying With Me
He made the sacrifice to be at my father's funeral with me even though he had chemotherapy immediately following. I will never forget that loving support! Presence is invaluable.❤️
Showing Patience
During loss, your spouse may need you by their side more than ever. Or they may need more quiet time alone. Emotions can shift greatly during this time, so patience is key.
Praying For Me
Prayer can never be underestimated. Little did I know that my anemia had worstened during this time. I was not taking my vitamins and supplements. By the time of my next Dr appointment, they were considering blood transfusions. Thank God they were not needed. When I asked Maurice if he was praying for me, he said "Yes". It was music to my ears.
The loss of both of our dads has brought us closer to our Heavenly Father and definitely to each other.
Death is hard but death without Jesus is harder.As a couple, we have been supportive of each other in life and in death keeping our vows. Bereavement can last a very long time. Prayerfully your marriage will outlast it.
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