Self-Care in Marriage

As a wife, I am not the best at caring for myself. In American culture, if you sacrifice yourself for work then you are esteemed more valuable. However, it is not true. People are praised for being tried, exhausted, mentally drained and very busy, but no one praises the person who takes a long vacation to connect with family or seeks psychological or financial help in areas of weakness. 

Take care of your body. Exercise is a form of self-care. I recently decided that I would join a fitness club so that I could get the support I needed to move my body (since I sit a lot) and to strengthen my joints as I get older (40s club problems :) It was worth it. Now, I look forward to feeling good and having my regular workout even if it is only once a week for now. I also suggest checking your insurance for all your benefits. More than likely you are not using everything that you are paying for. For example, this week I called my benefits person and found out that I have 90 chiropractic visits in this calendar year that I can use - say what?! Guess what I am going to do now - yup, make that appointment. Here are other ideas:

💗 Take a longer bath or shower for relaxation and alone time

💗 Eat your favorite healthy snack more often. Save a little extra money just for your treat.

💗 Ask hubby what his favorite body part is or how he likes to see you, then pay attention and give yourself extra care in that area (lotion, nail polish, exfoliation, shave, etc..)

Sex is a form of self-care. As a married couple, your body belongs to your spouse and vice-versa. We had the revelation that when we care for our spouse's body, we care for our own. If you are familiar with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, you know that food, elimination, clothing and sex are NEEDS. Our minds and bodies are designed to desire affection and touch. Sex is a means of providing spiritual and physical need in marriage. The Bible tells us not to withhold it from each other for a reason! However, have an honest stance in your relationship. If you are sick or very tired or not in the mood - say so. That is okay too. When we take care of our bodies, we are taking care of him too. Here are a few other tips:

💗 Decide whether the two of you are planner or spontaneous. Make sure he knows which you are and get ready for either!

💗 Get lingerie for yourself or some scent that makes you feel desirable.

💗 Let hubby know how you feel about your sex life. Be open and honest and stand up for yourself. 

Spiritual self-care is a must and honestly this can be harder to find time to do than anything else. If we put God first and prioritize time with Him, other things will fall into place. Sometimes I take mini spiritual retreats by myself or with a friend or two. The goal is to have concentrated time with Jesus and to refresh my spirit. Here are some other things as well:

💗 Get a journal to write out your heart prayers to God. Tell Him everything!

💗 Practice thankfulness. Spend one day being intentionally grateful, then do it again the next day :)

💗 Be active in your church community. Join the women's group. Serve others in some way.

Your marriage will benefit from you taking the time to get yourself together girl! Quality self-care leads to a more quality marriage. However, be sure to do all things by prayer. Here are a few warnings!

💗 Do not overspend as an excuse for self-care. 

💗 Consult your hubby about changes that you are wanting to make for yourself. Having him on board makes it so much easier.

💗 Be careful not to fall into comparison or self-pity. Self-care does not have to be expensive or over the top. 


If we take the time to take care of us our husbands will be grateful. Do everything in love including loving on YOU!






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