Having a Joyful Marriage in Sorrowful Times

All around us we keep hearing about death, fear, money troubles and anxiety about the future. Although things are uncertain, we have been trying to keep the perspective that at least we have each other through it all. How does a married couple know God's joy in the midst of such sadness?

In our marriage vows, we pledge "until death do us part", but we did not consider the toll that deaths around us would take. Life is really heavy right now and people are doing everything they can to keep their sanity. Joy is almost unthinkable for some. Nevertheless, it is possible. You see joy is something, that we learned long ago, is supernatural. We are in the middle of crisis with a worldwide pandemic, constant natural disasters, loss of life and financial unrest, yet, there can be joy in marriage still. The joy that the Lord gives to us can never be taken away.

First, we have to remember that this life is temporary and fleeting. We are strangers, pilgrims, temporary residents on this planet earth. This world is not our home. While we are here, the joy in our marriages is a picture to the world that Christ and His church is alive and well. There is still security, eternal security, in God. What a testament to the saving power of the blood of Jesus that our relationships can thrive despite our surroundings!

Joy is a fruit of the Spirit, not something we conjure up by our own efforts. (Galatians 5:22)  To know real joy in marriage is to know that the Holy Spirit is the other person in your relationship. Even on rough days, we can experience love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance with each other. To love and to be loved is a gift from God. Christian marriages should be growing more deeply planted roots in hard times instead of looking for a way out apart from one another. Tragedy should strengthen us, not separate us. The Bible lets us know that two are better than one. When one falls, the other can help! (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12) The key is leaning on the power of the Holy Spirit each and every day, every hour and every minute.

We all need space and time to process what is happening in the world now. Your spouse may not be able to handle all your emotions, but the Bible calls us to bear one another's burdens. We have to let our marriages be a safe space to confide, share feelings, cry together and express ourselves. Do unto your spouse as you would have them do unto you! (Matthew 7:12) We have times to talk, but we also take personal time away from each other to talk to God. Remember to keep God God and your mate your mate.

We see that even the church grew closer after the darkest time of Jesus' crucifixion. The disciples were perplexed, but found joy in the fact that He would return. We need to do the same today in our marriages. Real joy in marriage is knowing that our relationships serve a purpose that is bigger than us and that Jesus is returning sooner than later for those in His family. Even when someone dies, we do not mourn like the world does. ( 1 Thessalonians 4:13) Every day we try to be purposeful about cultivating a thankful heart. There is still SO much to be grateful for - especially each other.

The two greatest commandments are to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and to love our neighbors as ourselves. Real love endures despite situational changes, emotional mood-swings and whatever happened on today's news. It helps to think more about the other person than yourself. We have been trying to apply this principle in our marriage also. Who else needs food, clothing, shelter, money, prayer or a listening ear? What other couples could use encouragement? What grieving family could use a meal?

When we bless others, we are blessed ourselves. Your marriage can weather this storm because the Greater One lives within you and guides your marriage. He put us together and He can hold us together! We remain joyful in the fact that weeping may endure for the night, but JOY comes in the morning! (Psalm 30:5)