How to Stay Married for a DECADE

Ten years with one person is a long time these days. Statistics show that over fifty percent of U.S. marriages are lasting no more than seven years. That itch for divorce is real!

When we reached ten years, we celebrated with a very romantic trip to a secluded, privately owned cabin in Hocking Hills, Ohio. It was just the two of us. How did we get to that point? Well, let us share our How To's. This is by no means an all-inclusive list, but we think that there are some things that we will share, that other couples do not make a priority. So here goes...

1. Put God first. We have said it before and we will say it again. God authored marriage and He holds it together. You MUST pray regularly for yourself and your spouse daily.

2. Be kind. Politeness goes a long way in a marriage. Treat your spouse like you would a stranger and it makes a huge difference.

3. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Always assume that your spouse has your best interest at heart and never intend to hurt you purposefully. This is something that we discovered many years into our marriage. It's a game-changer!

4. Communicate not just daily, but throughout the day. We text, call, write and send messages to each other religiously. Even a simple "I love you" or "How are you doing" at any time means that you are being thought of and we ALL want that!

5. Spend time with other couples. Our church has a great group of couples that meets monthly. It is very refreshing to know that you are not in this alone. Make group dates a priority.

6. Ask them what they want from you. Do not assume in sex or otherwise that you know just what your spouse needs. It is best to ask and to listen to the answer, then do, buy or say what they prefer.

7. Let your spouse know your limits. You really have to let your spouse know what you can and cannot tolerate from them. In our relationship, being flirty is a no-no. Define your own boundaries and do not cross them!

8. Celebrate your anniversary. This is really important. You always need to remember your why. Why did we marry? Look at the picture and videos. Do something special on that day every year. Never forget.

9. Join the same church. We cannot understate this! We know couples that have lasted more than ten years and they attend different congregations, but we do not recommend this. You need to be on the same page as far as your belief systems.

10. Have sex. Plan it if you have to, but make it happen regularly. Never have your spouse question whether or not you are still interested in them physically. It hurts deeply. Be the chaser and the chased who gets caught. Do your research on your issues and work it out. (pun intended)

Hopefully, these ten tips will help you on your way to having a long successful marriage til death do you part. That really is the ultimate goal. Never forget that. "...With God all things are possible." (Mark 10:23-27



















Comments

  1. UnknownMay 14, 2021 at 4:58 AM

    Thank you; I'll definitely do & keep some of these things in mind!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lil Maurice Rated PG

Image
Praise God! When I was a little tike, of about five years of age (1975). I guess I thought I was some kind of explorer or zoologist or something, because I used to go around searching for Moby Dick (the fictional whale). I can't remember hearing the story, and I know I didn't read the long novel. But I was obsessed with finding this creature. Which is kind of embarrassing when I think back on it. Somehow I got the idea that Moby Dick lived down in the sewer system, under the manhole covers. One summer day a friend and I, with our big afro's and bell-bottom pants, were playing at my house. My mother (RIP 1/8/50- 5/19/86) decided to take me and my friend with her so she could see her friend, who lived in another part of the hood. When we got there we sat on the front porch. The nice lady offered my friend and I some watermelon. After eating that, my friend and I went around to the back of the house, as my mother and her friend sat on the front porch talking. While...
Read more

Spousal Support in Bereavement - Missing Daddy

Image
We have been silent on this blog. We have been quietly holding each other up. This is why. Just a few years into our marriage, we lost Maurice's dad and on February 23rd my dad passed from earth to eternity. Some would say that we are now fatherless, but we beg to differ. My father - Arnold Lee Harden gave his life to Jesus Christ as a teenager and served in his local church. He then married, had three girls and became a deacon in his latter years. We know that life begins when we receive Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, so my dad is living his BEST life right now! I got that full revelation on Easter Sunday weekend. I was tempted to deeply mourn during the holidays, but then, I remembered that this year was my dad's first Easter with Jesus Himself - how glorious! All couples deal with death differently. When your spouse is hurting, how do you support them? Here are a few things that Maurice did for me. Letting Me Cry I do not think I have ever cried so much on my life. I c...
Read more

Becoming a Mother

Image
There was a time that I wondered if I would ever be a mother at all. After we got married in 2001, we waited for a few years and then we were pregnant with our first child in the spring of 2005. We were elated because we had finally saved enough to move out of our 1 bedroom apartment and become real homeowners!  Our happiness quickly took a turn for the worse just a few short months later when I began to have periods of cramping, then spotting. I had been working full-time throughout my pregnancy in rehab. It was heavy work, but I thought nothing of it. I was also very ignorant about heavy lifting while pregnant and monitoring my out-of-control mood swings. I took a lot of my frustration out on my husband. We had told our families and then we lost the baby to a miscarriage. Incompatible genes they told us. Incompatible?? Bind the Devil!! Now, I was no midwife or OB/GYN nurse, but I figured two healthy people could have a healthy baby together without complications. It's b...
Read more