💙 The Beautiful Providence of God

 I started on the internet back in 1998 using free AOL dial up monthly passes and also using my Juno email account. In June of 2000 I posted an ad on Excite.com a singles classified website. Anita answered my "want ad". I thought "Okay she seems nice". So once or twice a month, we wrote each other emails. I wrote from Indiana to her in Ohio.

                              

                     Not the actual ad

 That September I was going for training in Ohio for my new job. So I figured “Hey, maybe we can meet there”. It would be about half way for both of us. Long story short, she didn't meet me there, didn't call and I was very upset driving back to Indiana. A little bit after I got home she called me and we were cool. In hindsight, it wasn't a good idea for me to ask her to drive that distance anyway for someone she met only on the net. Shortly after that she stopped writing me. I found out later her old boyfriend came back. We started back emailing again that December. Anita told me about a big multi-church singles mingle coming in February in her city. So in February I came to her city for the get-together. At her parent’s house was the first time we saw each other in person. After that, once a month, I would come to her city to see her bearing gifts and spend the night in a hotel. 

 After I came to see her for Easter, we decided to go to another level with our relationship and start talking about marriage. I knew she was the one because God's sovereign hand allowed our relationship to progress the right way. We started talking about theology, which city we would live in, marital covenant, etc. While we were talking, I was getting her ring custom-made and saving what ended up being the most money I had ever saved just at the right time. That Memorial Day weekend I came to see her again and I had it planned to surprise propose to her. So I brought the ring box and a dozen peach colored roses. Our plan was to go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. When we stopped in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame parking garage I proposed to her. She said yes and we brought the good news to everyone. 

We set our wedding date for July and I gave my job a two-week notice. I was the first to move to our new apartment in the city where Anita was a week before the wedding. After the wedding and first consummation, two weeks later we went on our honeymoon cruise to the Bahamas. God's hand has been strong in our marriage and after all these years we are still "Walking together towards God".

While the Spouse was Away...

At times, we have traveled away from each other. Sometimes it is for work, other times for a short break or vacation with friends. This past summer, Maurice was gone for a week and then I left for the following weekend. Our trips overlapped so we missed seeing each other for about 10 days! It was the longest that we have ever spent time apart.

Let's be real honest here. In a marriage, you have to have safeguards to prevent sin from creeping in. Being away from your spouse for too long can quickly and easily lead to pornography, adultery, masturbation and other non-sexual sin. 

God's made us all sexual creatures and His plan for us as a married couple is to be together in every way. You have to make a plan in order to prevent opportunities for temptation. We have had the same plan for years and we praise God that we have been able to remain faithful to each other even when we are apart. This is not a suggestion, you need a real plan, like, for real!

Communication

I was posting some pictures of my recent birthday girl's trip on instagram and I asked my audience about how they keep in touch with their spouses while traveling separately. I shared about how we text often and videochat each day. We send pictures and let everyone that may be traveling with us know that we are married and unavailable to "go out" to places where singles mingle. 

On the instagram feed, I got a lot of good responses. Check them out!

Physical Touch

This does not seem like a big deal, but watch touching anyone of the opposite sex. Even a "friendly" tap on the arm or a short hug can get someone really excited about you. Staring too long or even a smile can lead someone on. We are not saying to avoid being kind, but make sure that your motives are pure because many times, other people's motives are not.

Wear your Rings

I guess that this is obvious, but not as popular as it used to be. Although it does not stop any sin at all, it is at least a signal that you are taken. It is also a reminder of your vows to each other. Keeping them on is an easy thing to do. If it helps, why not?

Dress Modestly

The more attention you bring to yourself while away from your spouse, the more likely you are to get it. Please do not mistake me for saying that you should "dumb yourself down". Once again, this is about your heart, motives and intentions. You do not have to be at THAT place at THAT time wearing THAT. You know what I mean. Infidelity starts in the mind and heart. 

We try to be modest all the time, even on vacation. We expose skin for each other, not for pictures!

Speaking of pictures, here are a few from our separate times away....

Maurice's away room

Anita's away room

Common area with pool

Hot tub

Enjoying the views

Still wearing the wedding ring!