Kick the devil out of your Marriage

Some of us are used to chaos in our marriages. It is normal to fight daily and to struggle with communicating regularly. For many, the enemy has a space in your bed, a seat in your car and is welcomed into your home by way of several types of media. The devil is that third person in some relationships and we do not even recognize him. Well, I do not know about you, but I do not want him anywhere close to me or my marriage! The good news is that if we have a relationship with Jesus Christ, we have authority over the enemy even in our marriages.

We need to kick the devil out! Our weapons against the enemy are clearly delineated in scripture. Contrary to popular opinion within and without the church, counseling is not a cure. More money will not bring more peace. Another spouse is not the answer either. You will face the same battles with any person with which you align yourself in matrimony. In Ephesians 6, we see all the pieces of the armor:

The Helmet of Salvation
The Sword of the Spirit
The Breastplate of Righteousness
The Girdle of Truth
Feet shod with the preparation of the Gospel of Peace
The Shield of Faith
and
Prayer !!

These are God-given weapons or resources. We have these resources, this currency, in the spirit that we may not be using.

You can be a christian and not be using all the resources that God has put at your disposal in your marriage. 

You may have to exchange your old ways of handling these battles with God's way, just like a currency exchange in world markets. You cannot keep using the same old ways of managing life or you will keep getting the same results, right? Our old weapons (yelling, deception, stealing, the silent treatment, bribery) do not deter the forces of evil at work in your house. Try something different with a guaranteed outcome and a bonafide victory.

Prayer
In Matthew 21:13, Jesus says that His house will be called a house of prayer. If you are a child of God, and all that you have is His, then your house is His house. Prayer is one of the first lines of defense against the enemy in your home. It is literally how you put on the rest of the armor. Renounce and repent of your old sins and ask the Lord to show you how to arm yourself and your marriage with His weapontry. You will need spiritual eyes and ears to "see" and "hear" in the spirit. It is not spooky, it is actually more real than you can imagine.

Shield of Faith
The Word of God has power to change your marriage. We do not use it because we do not believe it. We do not ask, seek and knock because we can trust God with smaller things than our relationships sometimes. It may seem too big. It's been too long. It has always been this way and we have no hope for change. Well, that my friend is a lack of faith! The reason that faith is a shield is because it guards you from fear of the past, present or future status of your marriage.

The enemy loves to tempts people with worry and stress. Faith speaks life instead. The enemy loves to get you with that guard down so that he can insert apathy - when you just don't care anymore. We encourage you to hold up the shield of faith again. Know who your God is and that His Word is quick and powerful in your marriage. Just because you do not see the enemy's arrows or how the Lord quenches them does not mean that it is not happening! Where is your shield? Where is your faith? Even a mustard seed of faith will do.

Gospel Shoes
You will need gospel footwear to kick the enemy back to where the sun don't shine. The power of the gospel has a tremendous affect on your marriage. You may not have thought of this before. We named this blog "Walking Together Towards God" with this in mind. We are to walk out, live out and be an example of, Jesus and His Church to the world. Our lasting relationships speak loudly of the love that God has for the world (John 3:16, kjv). When we allow the enemy to come between us, we distort that beautiful picture. It warps God's masterpiece. We should never be fighting against each other, but with each other. Run quickly to maintain peace in your relationship! Resolve disagreements as soon as possible. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, leave peaceably with all men (Romans 12:18, kjv).


Girdle of Truth
The truth will always set you free. When we have invited the enemy in, we have to be the ones to kick him out. Nothing works better than the truth. For every lie your or your spouse have spoken, you can use a scripture to combat it. Post them over your bed. Put the Word on your desk at work. Play music with scripture that is tailored to combat the lies that you tell yourself. We are quick to believe in what is false. Train yourself in using this piece of armor. Whatsoever things are true...think on these things (Philippians 4:8, kjv).

Breastplate of Righteousness
There is a big difference between what is right and what is wrong. Unfortunately, our hearts cannot discern this well for us because they are deceitfully wicked. This is what the breastplate is for. This armor covers our vital organs and does not leave our unrighteousness exposed to the elements. This right standing with God is ours when we receive Jesus as Lord. The enemy loves to tell us how wrong we are. That is called condemnation. He may tell you that your bad marriage is your fault. "You caused your spouse to act like this". "You are the reason that the love is gone". Refuse to allow him to blame you, remind you of your sin or make you feel insignificant.

The blood of Jesus covers all of our shame and replaces our unrighteousness with His perfect righteousness. That is the power of the cross!

Of course we should repent of any sin that we are aware of immediately, but do not allow the battle of guilt to continue in your mind. Set your mind on things above and walk in victory.

Sword of the Spirit
Whether you are ignorant of satan's tactics or you, conversely, blame him for everything, you still need a good offense against him in your marriage once you recognize that this is not a physical battle. Flesh can fight flesh, but spirit needs to fight spirit. You cannot fight spirit in the flesh. It is a losing battle. The Bible tells us that the sword of the spirit is the Word of God. It is the Lord's very words that chase the devil out of your marriage. Stop using your words and start rehearsing His! Here are just a few verses that you can use:

But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. (Joshua 24:14,15, kjv)

No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosperk (Isaiah 54:17, kjv)

Submit yourselves therefore unto God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. (James 4:7, kjv)


Helmet of Salvation
The last piece of armor is what you have to put on first. Salvation is for those who agree with God that they are sinners in need of saving. They accept the abundant life that Jesus offers through his substitutionary death on their behalf. They know that the battle in their marriage is real. Your marriage can be saved, but God will have to do it. Our thoughts are not His thoughts. We need a changed mind and heart in order to tap into the victory of overcoming the enemy of our souls and our relationships.

A helmet covers the major senses (sight, hearing, smell, and taste) while the remainder of the armor covers what you feel. We have to learn to sense God. See Him. Hear Him. Smell when things are different and taste and see that the Lord is good. Marriage is not about how you feel, it is a relationship that represents Christ and His Church. The enemy is relentless to destroy it. It is the most attacked union on earth.

Kicking the devil out of your marriage is a must.  He will attack you. He will attempt to make you weary, bitter, doubtful of God's direction and apathetic to the whole thing. BUT, the victory is won and we really just need to suit up and let God fight this battle for us. Perhaps you feel alone in the fight. We would suggest that you gather others who are fighting the same fight. Stand together. Believe together. Kick the devil out together. Remember, "Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world (1 John 4:4, kjv).

3 New Year Marriage Resolutions that you won't quit

A resolution is a firm intention to do or not to do something. In marriage, we have already made the commitment to each other for life. However, we want to continue to grow and develop in our relationships with each other. Let's take assessment of our current status and work even harder to make our marriages even better. A couple of years ago we wrote a blog about accounting for your marriage every year. As one year closes and another begins, let's look at three resolutions, or intentions to make us both better.

First, pray often. We tried to make a commitment to pray together daily but yeah...that didn't really happen. When you do not meet your goals, you revise them right? So instead of praying together daily, we have decided to pray for each other regularly. It is actually pretty easy to say "Praying for you" instead of "I love you" sometimes. That is realistic. Then, actually pause and pray. You may even try to develop the habit of saying a quick "Lord, bless my wife today" with every hug. Another idea is to tuck prayer notes in a lunch sack or add a prayer for your husband with every meal. Now THAT we can do!

Second, resolve to encourage your spouse. Some days this is easier than others for sure! We all need it and we should be each other's biggest cheerleaders. It is important for husbands and wives to be encouraged by their own spouse. It is one thing to hear "good job!" at work, from strangers or those in your church, but how sweet it is to hear words of life from the one you love!

You can be encouraging in many creative ways. There are nice marriage cards or notes that you can buy or print off from pinterest if you don't know what to say. Be sure to keep it sincere. No one likes a disingenuous compliment. If it helps, make a list this year for every month of next year. Building each other up and encouraging each other is something that all christians can resolve to do in their marriage. ( 1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Last, be a servant. We saved the best resolution for last. Servanthood is not popular in today's society. It has a negative connotation for many people who equate it with slavery.

We are slaves to Jesus Christ, not to each other.

Servanthood in marriage looks like putting the other person ahead of yourself. Deferring to your spouse does not lessen you as a person, it makes you look more like Christ. (1 Corinthians 7:22) Yesterday was Maurice's first day of vacation and he decided to wake up early and make breakfast for our entire family. Servanthood. It does not take much to give, serve, share or let your spouse go first. The easy way to do this is to think about what you would like done for you. If you would love help with chores, do that for your spouse. If you want more time to yourself, help lighten the load of your spouse - they probably want that too.

The Bible tells us to do unto others as we would have them do to us. (Matthew 7:12) Look to serve, not to be served. (Mark 10:45)  Even if you feel as if you are always the one to serve, do it anyway. Your reward may not be in your marriage, but believe us that you will be rewarded by God. Do not grow weary in well doing. You will reap if you do not faint! (Galatians 6:9) Resolve to obey God in this, especially in your marriage.

The goal is to make praying, encouragement and service a habit. Make them a part of your marriage lifestyle now, and in the years to follow, not just another temporary resolution. Have a Happy New Year in your marriage!

FUN in Marriage

We are so excited to start a new year! It is a fresh chance to build on the foundation of our marriage. It is important to be intentional about enjoying each other's company. We have decided to share with you a few fun things that, perhaps, you have never thought of before. Hopefully, you can begin the New Year with some fresh ideas and plan out some fun things to do together!

(This post contains affiliate links of companies that we work with to support our blog. We may be entitled to compensation if our readers click the links....hint, hint).

Dating

So what you are married? The dating never stopped for us! We plan to try out a few date boxes this year. After our Christmas date with Get Date Box we were hooked. Everyone loves mail and why not invest in your marriage? During the cold winter months of Ohio, we are now looking forward to fun dating more inside the house. We sent the boys upstairs to play and we had a great time!

We also do traditional dating at a restaurant too. It has been hard to date out because we always needed a sitter for the boys. Thank God for sisters who take them off our hands for much-needed fun couple time.

Games

We have always been a gaming couple. We play board games together, card games, sports and TV guessing games. Another idea that we have recently come across is fun mystery boxes to solve together through the mail! We have recently discovered Breakout Games which has a lot of fun activities that allow you to work together. Team building skills are always needed in a relationship and it's fun!

Breakout Games

You have to subscribe for this mystery box that gives you clues to solve together. You then have the whole month to figure it all out as a couple (or family if you really want to involve the kiddos). We are looking forward to our first one very soon!

We would also suggest escape rooms. Nothing like trying to get out of a tough situation together to build your marriage muscles!

Exercise

We really tried to brainstorm about what physical activity (besides sex) that we both really enjoy doing. About four years ago, we realized that we both enjoy riding our bikes together most. We have taken the trails through parks several times. We have even played geographical location games on our bikes!

It is a great outdoor activity that is fun and also increases your patience (when one person gets tired).

Cooking

If you have not spent time in the kitchen with your spouse, you are missing out! Anything that lights up your senses as a couple is romantic. We really like spices! It is so fun to experiment with our taste buds and make interesting, fun dishes for and with each other.

This year, we hope to do a cooking class together with Sur La Table! They have incredible date night options for couples that include an entree and dessert. Heat up or spice up your marriage this coming year!

Marriage is a gift that keeps on giving, but it needs to be nurtured! We hope that you have fun trying these things. Do you have any other really fun marriage ideas? Comment with your fun idea and we will place your name in a drawing to be sent a sweet Valentine's Day gift for you and your spouse in February! Each comment counts as an entry. (must be a subscriber to enter)

Winter Romance: Four Ideas for when you are NOT in the mood

(This blog post contains affiliate links that we may receive compensation for if you click them, but we do not mind if you do :)

When it is cold out and the snow is falling, things can happen! This is baby-making season as some say, lol. However, the reality is that as much as we may be showing physical attention to our spouses, we may not be meeting their emotional needs. Romance (especially for a woman) is so much more than sex. In the winter season, the fact is that stress and sadness can cloud our attempts at being and reciprocating romance. As much as we are physically together, we may actually be very distanced in other ways. Depression, grieving and anxiety can take a toll on a marriage especially around the holidays.

Some couples seem to have it all together. They happily celebrate the highs in life and support each other through the lows. Everything looks so perfect from the outside. Yet we all know that any good marriage takes much work and intentionality. We have to be willing to give and willing to receive. You may not always be in the mood either. Heck, you might not even like your spouse right now, but we have to rely on the Lord to make these relationships work.

Romance reminds us that the other person is thinking of us. We have four great romantic ideas to share that will not add to the stress of the winter season. While they may seem unconventional, try them and let us know how it goes!

Mood buster #1: Reminisce good times

Recalling happy times together can cure the winter blues sometimes. We like to look at older pictures and even the video of our wedding day and honeymoon together. Romance does not have to be expensive. It has to be meaningful.

We often worry about the future so take a moment with your spouse to relive the good. Recollect details about events and people and relish those memories. Make them smile.

Mood buster #2: Pray Together

Yes it is not on most people's list of "most romantic things to do with your spouse", but we guarantee that it is!! How much more intimate can you be than approaching the all-powerful throne of God as a couple? In the book of Genesis, Adam and Eve hid from the Lord together, but what could have happened if they confessed their sins to Him together instead?

Even praying for your loved ones and each other's personal needs touches a deep place in the heart of your spouse. It is one of the most romantic things that you can do.

Mood buster #3: Get Warm!

If you have been following the blog for a while, you know that Anita gets very cold in the winter. Something as simple as taking a warm shower together or cuddling for longer in bed (without expecting anything) can be very romantic for her.

Another suggestion would be talking by a fire with some cocoa after a cold walk outside. See how that works - cold, then warm....and maybe HOT if you get lucky, lol.


Mood buster #4: Gifts

Recently, Maurice surprised me when I came home, just because. It was a beautifully wrapped box of chocolates. Thoughtfulness goes a long way in a marriage. Often it is the little things (like the fact that he knows that white chocolate is my fav), that makes a difference.

Maybe food is not the gift you should give. It may be an experience or perhaps a book. There are several really great gifts out there and we would like to offer you our sale code through this link to ChurchSource. Options abound, but gifts that draw your spouse closer to God are priceless. Here is a tip for the guys. Click the link below or ask her to pick something out for herself, especially if she likes to shop!

Get her the perfect gift from ChurchSource.com!

Sometimes it is not even the gift itself, but how it is given that matters more. Some people like surprises while others want to know exactly what is about to happen. You know your spouse best. Even when you are not in the mood, no one can romance them like you. Make an effort. Keep your marriage fresh and alive, even in the dead of winter.

Holiday Housekeeping & Hospitality (3 tips)

As you may have read on the blog before, we try to keep a tidy house even with our two boys. The holidays, however, can be a challenge. We often host the family and with people comes stuff and germs and dishes.

Holidays can be more overwhelming than usual, but I have developed a very simple system to stay on top of things while hosting events at our home (since we seem to be the go-to spot for parties).

So we have developed a plan for our home and we each have assigned duties to make sure that our guests feel welcome, but the house remains clean and organized. Here are a few tips for the wife who wants to make her home a place where Jesus Himself could visit.

Tip #1: Clean ahead of time.

I cannot stress enough how helpful it is to clean your house, apartment or living space BEFORE guests arrive. First, it puts you in the mindset of keeping everything in its place. Secondly, you are able to identify what areas need more help than others. Thirdly, you are less likely to be embarassed with an area that you have overlooked.

We do put our boys to work helping out as well. They are in charge of taking out trash, moving furniture and setting tables. My hubby handles all the floors and and I do the organizing for everything else.

Some additional tips are to quickly spot clean floors and baseboards. People notice these things. Keep in mind that people look at everything. 

 What are you advertising or representing in your home?

Also, be sure that your restrooms are visitor-ready. Being a mom of boys, this is a MUST for me. Stains and spots and smells are a huge no-no. Be that Proverbs 31 woman and just say no to dirty bathrooms, lol! I also like to air out my house so that dust does not settle.

Tip #2: Don't stress about the mess.

While you are hosting, please enjoy the people and do not worry about cleanliness. Homes are meant to be lived in. It is a time to enjoy your visitors and engage with your guests.

Maurice is often the greeter when people come to visit. He takes coats and welcomes everyone. The boys are in charge of all kids attending. They need to make sure that nothing gets broken. Our everyday rules also apply for events we host in our house!

Quickly offer food and drinks and make everyone feel comfortable in the atmosphere that you have provided. Do be aware of the noise level from screens (tv, computer or other devices). These can distract from your present company and create a stressful space. Even music should be in the background not the forefront.

Tip #3: Clean up right away.

This is the biggest tip of all. I am always tired after hosting a party or event in my home, but I do praise God for a tidy husband. We tackle the mess of the party right after, every time. It makes a world of difference! Wash the dishes, mop or vacuum and clear the counter spaces and couches.

We also either throw a lot of things away or recycle for something else. For example, at Christmas time, we take all the decent bags and wrapping paper and store them away for another ocassion or last-minute re-gifting. Decide immediately if something is worth keeping or not and put it in the proper place (re-gift, storage, recycle or trash).

After I am finished, I congratulate myself for a successful gathering and look at all the pictures, or just take a well-deserved shower and nap!!


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Hopefully this was helpful and you learned something new, or perhaps it was a good refresher. In any case, please pay it forward and share these tips with someone else.

How we serve and host is for the glory of God. A Titus 2 wife is a keeper of her home. This is just one of the many ways. Find more in The Titus Ten book HERE. Also, leave a comment on this post and you may be the one subscriber chosen to get the book for FREE!