When Marriage Hurts

"Why can't you understand the words coming out of my mouth?!
You did not hear one word that I just said! I'm tired of repeating myself.
Stop interrupting me and maybe we can come to an agreement!
You don't care. You are not even trying to meet me halfway! You don't even love me."


Have you ever said those things to your husband? I have. I was hurting. When what we feel is not communicated to our husbands, we can get very angry, sad, resentful and bitter. No one likes that feeling,  but what should we do? Have you ever felt that you are trying your best and are still under-appreciated? Yeah, Jesus has definitely been there too!



Here are some biblical tips for Communication in marriage:


1. Offer positive criticisms. Accusations sound like what the devil does.
2. Agree on a set time to talk about conflicts.
3. Actually listen, not prepare a rebuttal. This is not a courtroom. The goal is a winning marriage! You don't feel any better if your spouse loses.
4. Use the Word of God in sharing your offense, then stop talking. Check your emotions. Repeating the Word is enough. It works.
5. Don't forget to pray. Seek God before you approach your mate and pray before during & after! Maurice and I have been using these tips for years.
6. Remember to trust God, not your feelings.

We all have expectations in marriage but we need to surrender those to God and love the person we are with. Remember, you both chose each other. Make wise decisions because when you wake up in the morning, they will still be there!

Comments

  1. In my opinionJanuary 28, 2014 at 6:57 AM

    Thank you. Great advice, simply put.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Walking TogetherJanuary 28, 2014 at 4:54 PM

      (A) You are so welcome. Just some biblical things that we try to practice. Thanks for reading!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lil Maurice Rated PG

Image
Praise God! When I was a little tike, of about five years of age (1975). I guess I thought I was some kind of explorer or zoologist or something, because I used to go around searching for Moby Dick (the fictional whale). I can't remember hearing the story, and I know I didn't read the long novel. But I was obsessed with finding this creature. Which is kind of embarrassing when I think back on it. Somehow I got the idea that Moby Dick lived down in the sewer system, under the manhole covers. One summer day a friend and I, with our big afro's and bell-bottom pants, were playing at my house. My mother (RIP 1/8/50- 5/19/86) decided to take me and my friend with her so she could see her friend, who lived in another part of the hood. When we got there we sat on the front porch. The nice lady offered my friend and I some watermelon. After eating that, my friend and I went around to the back of the house, as my mother and her friend sat on the front porch talking. While...
Read more

Spousal Support in Bereavement - Missing Daddy

Image
We have been silent on this blog. We have been quietly holding each other up. This is why. Just a few years into our marriage, we lost Maurice's dad and on February 23rd my dad passed from earth to eternity. Some would say that we are now fatherless, but we beg to differ. My father - Arnold Lee Harden gave his life to Jesus Christ as a teenager and served in his local church. He then married, had three girls and became a deacon in his latter years. We know that life begins when we receive Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, so my dad is living his BEST life right now! I got that full revelation on Easter Sunday weekend. I was tempted to deeply mourn during the holidays, but then, I remembered that this year was my dad's first Easter with Jesus Himself - how glorious! All couples deal with death differently. When your spouse is hurting, how do you support them? Here are a few things that Maurice did for me. Letting Me Cry I do not think I have ever cried so much on my life. I c...
Read more

Becoming a Mother

Image
There was a time that I wondered if I would ever be a mother at all. After we got married in 2001, we waited for a few years and then we were pregnant with our first child in the spring of 2005. We were elated because we had finally saved enough to move out of our 1 bedroom apartment and become real homeowners!  Our happiness quickly took a turn for the worse just a few short months later when I began to have periods of cramping, then spotting. I had been working full-time throughout my pregnancy in rehab. It was heavy work, but I thought nothing of it. I was also very ignorant about heavy lifting while pregnant and monitoring my out-of-control mood swings. I took a lot of my frustration out on my husband. We had told our families and then we lost the baby to a miscarriage. Incompatible genes they told us. Incompatible?? Bind the Devil!! Now, I was no midwife or OB/GYN nurse, but I figured two healthy people could have a healthy baby together without complications. It's b...
Read more