The Unbroken Holiday: A 15-Minute Marriage "Bone Check"

The holidays are a "stress test" for families. Just like heavy physical weight puts pressure on the human skeleton, the weight of financial expectations, family dynamics, and busy schedules puts pressure on the "bones" of our marriage.

In biology, the health of the bone depends on the marrow—the hidden factory inside that produces life. If the marrow is healthy, the bone can withstand pressure without breaking.

This month, we are going to do a quick "Marrow Check" on our marriage. If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know that Maurice has been dealing with Multiple Myeloma since 2018. We are using this diagnosis as a teaching tool this holiday.

We are looking at the prophecy of Jesus—the One whose bones were never broken—and asking Him to strengthen the structure of our home this Christmas. Here is a bible study for you and your spouse as our gift to you for the holidays! 

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The Scripture (The Foundation):

"For these things were done, that the scripture should be fulfilled, A bone of him shall not be broken." — John 19:36 (KJV)

"And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh..." — Genesis 2:23 (KJV)

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The Insight (The "Aha!" Moment): When God created the first marriage, He didn't use dust; He used bone. In Hebrew, the word for "Bone" is Etzem (עֶצֶם). But this word means more than just a skeleton—it also translates to "Essence" or "Self."

When Adam saw Eve, he wasn’t just talking about anatomy. He was saying, "This is the structure of who I am. This is my essence."

Thousands of years later, Jesus was born into a human body. He faced the ultimate pressure—the Cross—yet there was a prophetic mandate over His life that not one bone would be broken. The enemy could bruise His skin, but he could not shatter His structure.

The Application for Couples: This holiday season, the enemy wants to attack the Etzem (the essence/structure) of your marriage. He wants to create "fractures" through arguments, fatigue, and offense.

But you have a promise. Because Jesus is the "Keeper of the Bones" (Psalm 34:20), He can keep your marriage unbroken even under heavy pressure. If we keep our spiritual "marrow" (our inner connection with God) producing life, our "bones" (our relationship structure) will not snap.

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The "Marrow Check" (Discussion - 10 Minutes): Turn off your phones and ask each other these three questions. Be honest but gentle!

1. The Stress Test: "Where do you feel the most 'pressure' on our marriage right now? (Finances, scheduling, in-laws, etc.)"

2. The Lytic Lesion (The Void): "Is there an area where you feel 'empty' or depleted right now that I can help fill? (Need for rest, need for fun, need for quiet?)"

3. The Unbroken Vow: "What is one thing we can do this week to protect our 'Etzem' (our essence/unity) from getting fractured?"

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The Prayer (Seal it together): Husbands, take your wife’s hand. Wives, lay a hand on his shoulder.

"Father, we thank You that You are the Architect of this marriage. We thank You that You took on flesh and bone to understand our weakness. Lord, this holiday season, we ask for a supernatural strengthening of our 'bones.' Protect the structure of this home. We plead the blood of Jesus against any spirit of division or offense that would try to cause a fracture between us. Fill our marrow with Your joy. Let our home be a place of healing, not breakage. We declare that what You have joined together, no pressure can break apart. In Jesus' name, Amen."

🎄Merry CHRISTmas from The Mckaneys'!

 

The Holy Noise Cancellation: Creating Sacred Stillness in the Season's Rush

🎧 Can you hear it? The familiar sound of the holiday season is already upon us: the cheerful jingle of carols, the loud rush of shoppers, the constant ping of new notifications, and the relentless pressure to do more, see more, and buy more!!

For us married couples, this symphony of noise often drowns out the quiet, gentle rhythm of our covenant. The stress of the season doesn't just tire us out; it pulls us apart, making us short-tempered with our spouse and distracted from the ultimate purpose of this season: Christ.

In our previous post, we talked about setting boundaries with the C.H.R.I.S.T. acronym to protect your marriage from holiday family conflict. That was about external boundaries. Now, let’s talk about internal protection—creating sacred stillness. We need to hit the "Holy Noise Cancellation" button to guard the most precious gift we have, which is our spouse and our life with God.

🌿 Remembering the Harvest of a Quiet Heart

If you recall from our post on The Harvest of a Quiet Heart, we discussed how cultivating stillness leads to grace, patience, and a soft answer in our marriage. The holiday season is the greatest threat to that quiet heart!

The enemy doesn't need to incite major sin during Advent; he only needs to incite chaos. Chaos robs you of peace, and a chaotic mind cannot produce the fruit of the Spirit. If your heart is running a marathon of worry and obligation, you won't have the emotional energy to sow seeds of grace for your spouse.

Your marriage covenant is a sanctuary. Don't let the world turn it into a high-traffic lobby full of holiday stress.

🛡️ Cancelling the Noise to Protect Your Covenant

To walk together towards God this Christmas, you and your spouse must be intentional about creating pockets of stillness. This intentional stillness acts as the "Noise Cancellation" for your soul.

Here are three simple ways to guard your covenant from the noise:

1. Covenant Comes First: The 15-Minute Sanctuary

Remember that first letter in the C.H.R.I.S.T. acronym: Covenant Comes First.

• The Action: Schedule a non-negotiable 15-Minute Sanctuary with your spouse every day. This is the only appointment that matters.

• The Rule: No phones, no planning, no kids' logistics. Just sit. Read a short scripture together (the Nativity story works well), share one thing you are grateful for, and pray a simple, short prayer for your spouse and your marriage.

• The Result: You are reminding your hearts that your unity in Christ is more sacred than the 100 other demands of the day. You are filling your hearts with peace together before the rush begins.

2. Release Expectations: Guarding Your Shared Time

The holiday season is full of pressure to attend every party, bake every cookie, and see every light display. This is the R in C.H.R.I.S.T.—Release Expectations.

• The Action: Review your calendar as a couple and identify three things that are causing you the most stress. Then, choose to release one of them. Say "no" to a party, buy the cookies instead of baking, or simplify your gift list.

• The Rule: You must be united in the decision. One spouse should not shoulder the burden of the extra commitment or the guilt of saying "no."

• The Result: You gain back hours of time and peace—two invaluable gifts you can then pour back into your marriage, not into frantic activity.

3. Seek Peace: Prioritizing Quiet Service

The holiday rush often turns us inward, focused on our to-do list. However, true quietness comes from fixing our eyes outward, onto the example of Christ. This is the S in C.H.R.I.S.T.—Seek Peace and Pursue It.

• The Action: Instead of spending an afternoon at the mall, spend that time serving together. Find a local non-profit or shelter that needs help wrapping gifts or sorting donations.

• The Rule: Go into this act of service with a quiet, thankful heart. Focus on the blessing of giving, not the burden of adding another task.

• The Result: Serving as a united front shifts your perspective from consumption to compassion. You will find that true spiritual peace is pursued and captured when you and your spouse are walking together in step with the heart of Christ.

Dear couples, don't let the noise of the world hijack your holy season or your holy covenant. Intentionally seek the stillness, remember the grace of a quiet heart, and make the radical, peace-filled decision to prioritize your covenant above the chaos.

Let's pray together:

Heavenly Father, we thank you for the gift of stillness and the peace that only You can provide. Guard our hearts and our marriage from the noise of this season. Help us to put our covenant first, to release the expectations that steal our joy, and to pursue peace in every moment. May our home be a sanctuary where the quiet grace of Christ reigns. In the precious name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.

Blessings and love,

The Mckaneys'