Life can be chaotic. We juggle careers, parenting, ministry, and all the curveballs life throws our way. In the midst of it all, our marriage can sometimes feel less like a dance and more like two people marching to the beat of very different drummers.
We recently experienced this firsthand. We found ourselves in a difficult moment, our ideas for a key project heading in entirely different directions. He saw one path, and she was convinced another was the way to go. The disagreement was more than just a difference of opinion; it was a deeply frustrating battle of wills. It took time, a great deal of prayer, and a conscious choice to put our separate visions aside. Reconciling our differences was hard, but we knew the unity of our marriage was far more important than either of our individual ideas. We had to commit to walking together, even when the path felt uncertain.
The prophet Amos once posed a powerful question: "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" (Amos 3:3, KJV). While he was speaking of God's covenant with Israel, this timeless truth applies directly to our marriages. A truly blessed and resilient marriage is one where two hearts beat as one, walking in agreement with each other and, most importantly, with the Lord.
A Picture of Christ and His Church
When we pursue unity in our marriages, we are doing more than just creating a peaceful home—we are showcasing the Gospel to our two young adult sons and to the world. Our union is a living, breathing testimony of Christ's relationship with His Church.
Here are some ways that we see this picture of Jesus and our marriages :
Christ's Unwavering Love and Commitment: He gave His life for His bride, the Church, and remains faithful. When we, as wives, show our husbands unwavering love and commitment, we are reflecting a small piece of this divine love story.
The Church's Submission and Reverence: The Church submits to Christ's authority with joy and reverence. Husbands, make submission easier for your wife, as unto the Lord. It is not about making them a doormat, but about trusting God’s design being honorable as the leaders of our homes.
A Shared Purpose: Christ and the Church are united in one mission: to glorify the Father and make disciples. When a husband and wife are united in their spiritual purpose, they become an unstoppable force for the Kingdom, a "threefold cord" that cannot be broken.
Practical Steps for Unifying Your Marriage
So, how did we get from two different drumbeats to a beautiful, synchronized rhythm? Here are some practical steps that helped us to start walking in agreement.
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Pray Together, seriously: This isn't a suggestion; it's a non-negotiable. Begin and end your day by holding hands and praying together. It doesn’t have to be a long, eloquent prayer. Even a simple "Lord, thank you for my spouse, please bless them today" is a powerful step toward spiritual alignment.
Establish a Shared Vision: Sit down with your husband and talk about your dreams and goals. Not just for your careers or kids, but for your family's spiritual legacy. What do you want your home to be known for? How will you serve together? As you align your visions, you’ll find that your day-to-day decisions become much easier.
Be a United Front: In all things—especially in parenting—present a united front. If you disagree on a matter, discuss it privately, then come back and speak with one voice to your children. This models respect and strength, teaching them the importance of unity.
Celebrate the Small Victories (and Laugh at the Fails): Let's be honest, we won't always agree, and sometimes, those disagreements can be a little… funny even. Embrace a spirit of grace and humor. When you look back on a silly argument, be able to laugh about it together. It builds a beautiful history of shared experiences, both good and not-so-great.
Remember, building a unified marriage is a journey, not a destination. It requires intentional effort, grace, and a constant commitment to keeping Christ at the center. When you walk together in agreement, you not only bless each other but also become a beacon of light, shining a path for others to see the beautiful reality of Christ and His Church.